Please explain women to me

[Gray]

I'm seriously at a fucking loss here.

Two days ago I made a thread, asking how to show a girl a good time via massage. I also mentioned she did enjoy it thoroughly and I couldn't have received more compliments from her if I asked for them. All was well and all have been since early January. I know this since she initiated most of the contact, meetings and dates. Off course I've also done my part in making sure that she enjoy spending time with me, surprised her with day outs, gifts etc. When around my place, she never wanted to leave etc. In short, everything was balanced.

So this afternoon she rings me upset, telling me that she is still not over her ex and she is meeting up with him tonight to 'talk things over'. So immediately I thought, WTF, she hardly ever mentioned him, but tried to be as supportive as possible, biting my lip really really fucking hard and told her that she SHOULD meet him if it's going to help. (a.k.a, polishing the gun and aiming it at my foot). She said she appreciated my understanding and will be in touch before the meet and directly after and that this is just something she must do for her own peace of mind.

So I had a shitty afternoon, early evening came, no message, the time for the meeting came, nothing, no message. This is really grating on me now.
Just as I thought I'd allow myself to fall in love again, I get whacked on the balls very hard and reminded that this women creatures, truly are from Venus.

I've now started preparing myself for the worst. Feeling like shit, not in the mood to train, disinterested in work, can't be fucked to force food into myself six times a day, constantly wondering if I fucked up, etc etc.
Funny thing is, I know it's not my fault and not in my power to change it. Still, I'm feeling like shit right now. When will I learn :(

[Gray]

Just to add. I don't think I've been melodramatic here. If she's not over him, it obviously means that she has been trying very hard getting over him being with me, and that it didn't work.

[Suzy Brown]

Yes, it sounds like a "its not you, it me," kinda deal.

Sorry you had to be the rebound guy. You win some, you lose some. :(

If I were you I'd not want to see her again, no matter what. That wasn't a nice thing to do to you. I don't like people who say they'll do one thing and then don't. Its not like you asked to be part of it, she offered, and then left you hanging. Shows some insenitivity...

:( Sorry.

[Gray]

If she leaves, I will handle it. I recognize it's only chemicals the brain release to make you feel like shit and that one day it will be gone.

It's what to say to her if she does ring me eventually, if she does.

[Angela123]

rebound.

dont let her back with you.

she has always been in love with her ex this whole time. dont buy this, "for my peace of mind" bullshit. that is code for, "im not over my ex."

sorry.

[Angela123]

how long have you been seeing this woman?

[Suzy Brown]

It's what to say to her if she does ring me eventually, if she does.

Something along the lines of "I think it was kind of insensitive of you to say you'd keep me in the loop and then not do it. Its not like I asked to know any of that, you offered... and then you didn't show me the courtesy of following thru and I was left wondering what was going on. I think I always treated you with respect and great affection. Since you didn't return the sentiment, this will probably be the last we speak. Good luck."

[Angela123]

I've now started preparing myself for the worst. Feeling like shit, not in the mood to train, disinterested in work, can't be fucked to force food into myself six times a day, constantly wondering if I fucked up, etc etc.
Funny thing is, I know it's not my fault and not in my power to change it. Still, I'm feeling like shit right now. When will I learn

listen to yourself...you are making yourself get all worked up. u said it yourself..."ive now started to prepare myself for the worst."

its not even the end of the day and you cant eat and dont feel like training. stop that shit. dont let her get the best of you. get to the gym tonight damn it. i guarentee you will feel better. i go through bouts of bad depression in regards to my body image and binge eating...there are days i cant even get out of bed and i cant even look at myself in the mirror bc of my fucked up body image. the last thing i want to do is go to the gym that has a bunch of people there. but u know what...i go every time. i have never stayed home when i feel very depressed. i have missed work and wont go out in public when im depressed but i never miss the gym. and once i get there and start lifting...i feel so much better. i always end up leaving the gym in a better state of mind. the gym is seriously my anti depressants.

[Sistersteel]

I gather you've only known this woman a month or a little over? Hardly enough time to fall it love my dear. Though I am sure this situation ails you deeply, you will be over her in no time. It was a passing thing and I am sorry you caught her on the rebound. I would certainly stay away from her if you are finding yourself getting emotionally involved so early in the relationship. Its just more heartaches and headaches.

[Suzy Brown]

.i go every time. i have never stayed home when i feel very depressed. ... i never miss the gym. and once i get there and start lifting...i feel so much better.

Same here. I feel bad and its the only place I want to be. Its the stabilizing force of my life, like church probably is for some people.

[Gray]

Look, it don't mean that I will sit in a heap with a bottle of Jack and a gun. I will off course force myself to continue as normal and nobody will ever know that I've just been taken for a ride.

To answer your questions Ondrea, we've known each other for 6 months and only been dating for 2 months. I'm not in love with her or anything but I'm just disappointed.

Oh, and she actually just sent me a message, i'll copy it over word for word

"I want to run away...far far way, for a week, with you. Away from him.."

Ok, not exactly Shakespeare, but I'm sure hope can be found in that. Anyway, I've not replied and turned my phone off. If she wants to get in contact again, she has some serious explaining to do and would have to work for her place back into my life as gf. That's if the girl from the juice bar don't agree to go out with me :)

[Suzy Brown]

Sounds like another re-bound to me... and no apology either? You deserve better.

[Angela123]

rebounding, still in love with ex and wants some drama in her life. take it from me. i was that chick. i think ived used that line.


trust me babe...i know you are happy...but its not for real.

[sassy69]

The last thing you want to do is be viewed in someone's mind as the alternative to someone else. That means it almost doesn't matter who you are, as long as what you bring is NOT what the other guy is. Its just not the place you want to start at.

People are "over" other people when they no longer elicit any sort of dramatic emotional response over them - be it anger, sadness, whatever.. the person's actions or influence drives no significant response from you.

At that point, you can be in the picture on your own merits & not in comparison to the ex.

This is the annoying part about relationships - you can't control the other person. But you do have control over how you respond to that person..

[Gray]

I read all your responses and it makes perfectly sense. It's just, love or lust or whatever the hell this was, is like a drug. You know it's bad for you, yet you gravitate towards it like a moth to a flame. I know exactly what I should do, you've all given me your opinions and it's exactly what I should be doing, yet, if you're in this position...

Right now it's taking twice the willpower a 300lbs 100 rep squat would NOT to turn on that phone and ring her. Hopefully I'll hold :)

[Curt James]

I'm seriously at a fucking loss here.
(snip)
When will I learn :(

Never.

This is what it is, man.

Relationships make us soar but can also make us crash and burn. Enjoy the highs and realize that the lows will... not... last.

Hang in there.

[BadAssBarbie]

rebound.

dont let her back with you.

she has always been in love with her ex this whole time. dont buy this, "for my peace of mind" bullshit. that is code for, "im not over my ex."

sorry.
Odrea is right!! If she was over him and REALLY into you, she wouldn't have even enterrtained the thought of meeting up with him. There's someone better out there for you...someone who won't hurt you! When you find her, you'll appreciate her so much more because of shit like this!
Hang in there. Eat, train, be happy! Don't let her, or anyone for that matter, have that much power over you that they can steal your happiness!!

[Npeart]

What kills me about this is, where is the my-ex this and my-ex that when she's getting railed by you? Her heart isn't all a flutter for him while she's on her back taking it, though, is it? This bullshit is so old it's pathetic. The minute he calls she gets all misty. Oh, boo-hoo. . . Women who flake like this should be walking around with a Scarlet letter on them, so us normal, single guys know who the whackjobs are to avoid.

Don't get me wrong, I love women. I really do. But this kind of crap makes me crazy. If women like this were not so insanely insecure, they could be alone after a breakup and heal instead of darkening some poor, unsuspecting guy's door with their fear, neediness and insecurity.

Ok, I'm done.

[Tu Holmes]

I'm seriously at a fucking loss here.

When will I learn :(

When you stop acting like a bitch and start worrying about yourself... Another dude sitting around worrying about some dame.

STOP.

It's just another broad... Sheesh.

[Gray]

Acting like a bitch? Yes, i was mildly pissed off last night and at times felt sorry for myself. Today, the sun is threatening to break through London's fog, weekend is almost here, I'm raring to get into the gym tonight and have 9 messages on my phone from her, with her almost begging me to forget about yesterday and move on. However, FUCK her, if I was a lesser man scared of giving up good sex, she'd be here in bed with me right now. As far as I'm concerned, she'd better be kissing my ass for the next 4 weeks if she wants me to have a look at her again.

[Gray]

What kills me about this is, where is the my-ex this and my-ex that when she's getting railed by you? Her heart isn't all a flutter for him while she's on her back taking it, though, is it? This bullshit is so old it's pathetic. The minute he calls she gets all misty. Oh, boo-hoo. . . Women who flake like this should be walking around with a Scarlet letter on them, so us normal, single guys know who the whackjobs are to avoid.

Don't get me wrong, I love women. I really do. But this kind of crap makes me crazy. If women like this were not so insanely insecure, they could be alone after a breakup and heal instead of darkening some poor, unsuspecting guy's door with their fear, neediness and insecurity.

Ok, I'm done.

I agree with you. That's why I refuse to allow myself to fall in love quickly or allow myself to even think about any girl as LTR material before dating her for at least 3 months. It's all a game and that is exactly why there are so many miserable people from both sexes around. We fuck with each others feelings and that makes us all guarded. Nobody really wins and we're left with too many lonely and unhappy people.

I'm done too.

[tammyp]

i agree with the other girls..of course! did you hear from her?

[fitbody]

have you seen that movie...
"HE''S REALLY NOT INTO YOU" ?????
if not maybe you should see it
I'd personally kill for a F'in massage !!!!!!!!!!
cuz if she's really not into you
nothing you do or say is gonna make
so move on bigger and better things are in store
when one door closes many more will open

a dif

[Gray]

Hmm. What to do now. She messaged and said

'Want me to grovel to show how sorry I am? I will.'

I feel bad being an ass now. She really does seem sorry. Perhaps take her for a drink and lay down the law? Or am I being stupid thinking that?

[Simon M]

I'm seriously at a fucking loss here.

Two days ago I made a thread, asking how to show a girl a good time via massage. I also mentioned she did enjoy it thoroughly and I couldn't have received more compliments from her if I asked for them. All was well and all have been since early January. I know this since she initiated most of the contact, meetings and dates. Off course I've also done my part in making sure that she enjoy spending time with me, surprised her with day outs, gifts etc. When around my place, she never wanted to leave etc. In short, everything was balanced.

So this afternoon she rings me upset, telling me that she is still not over her ex and she is meeting up with him tonight to 'talk things over'. So immediately I thought, WTF, she hardly ever mentioned him, but tried to be as supportive as possible, biting my lip really really fucking hard and told her that she SHOULD meet him if it's going to help. (a.k.a, polishing the gun and aiming it at my foot). She said she appreciated my understanding and will be in touch before the meet and directly after and that this is just something she must do for her own peace of mind.

So I had a shitty afternoon, early evening came, no message, the time for the meeting came, nothing, no message. This is really grating on me now.
Just as I thought I'd allow myself to fall in love again, I get whacked on the balls very hard and reminded that this women creatures, truly are from Venus.

I've now started preparing myself for the worst. Feeling like shit, not in the mood to train, disinterested in work, can't be fucked to force food into myself six times a day, constantly wondering if I fucked up, etc etc.
Funny thing is, I know it's not my fault and not in my power to change it. Still, I'm feeling like shit right now. When will I learn :(

Stop being such a poof. There's plenty more out there. better to find out now than a few months down the line.

[Angela123]

darling...do what you what. we all can say tons of stuff on here...but in the end...you wil do what you want. and something is telling me..you will be seeing her this weekend.

personally...i think you should hold out...hardcore...if she really wants you...she will wait...or will she go crawling back to her ex after 6 wks of not receiving any attention from you. hmmmmmm?

many women just need a man in their life...any man. she isnt with her ex...she is lonely, isnt getting any attention from a man and is bored...she wants someones...so of course she wants to get back with you right away.

like i said tho...we r strangers lol...of course you arent going to listen to us lol...do what u what...just dont be too easy.

go for drinks...ehhh...not so much. she will get drunk and be all over you and say sweet things. do you really want that..it might sound like a good thing...but you need to be around her when she is sober.

id also become a detective if you take her back. check her phone. see if she texts or calls him. tho if she is an experienced with two timing...she will delete any communication she has with him.

[Simon M]

Hmm. What to do now. She messaged and said

'Want me to grovel to show how sorry I am? I will.'

I feel bad being an ass now. She really does seem sorry. Perhaps take her for a drink and lay down the law? Or am I being stupid thinking that?
Bugger, just seen this. Can you trust her now? If the answer is no, don't bother as it will just cause you pain and life's tough enough without that.

[Angela123]

dude...you have been seeing her for 2 months. the beginning of a relationship is suppossed to be all about lust and happiness. she should have gotten over this drama with her ex bf b4 she started anything with you. that is just my honest opinoin.
and please...dont feel bad for being an ass. can u imagine how she'd be acting if the tables were turned. she'd be flipping out and makiing sure she hangs it over your head.

[Simon M]

dude...you have been seeing her for 2 months. the beginning of a relationship is suppossed to be all about lust and happiness. she should have gotten over this drama with her ex bf b4 she started anything with you. that is just my honest opinoin.
and please...dont feel bad for being an ass. can u imagine how she'd be acting if the tables were turned. she'd be flipping out and makiing sure she hangs it over your head.
Exactly.

Have fun and if your girl makes you unhappy dump her. It's good for you and her. Don't waste your life being upset.

[Angela123]

another thing that sux is that she kept this from you. you had no idea there was any unfinished business she had with her ex.

i had some drama between an ex and a guy i was seeing a few years back...but the guy i was seeing knew from the start there was drama and unfinished business. so he knew what he getting into it.

and just so you know...i constantly told this guy i liked him lots and wanted to be with him and that i hated my ex, blah, blah, blah. it was fun for a few months...but yep..i ended up back with my ex. even tho i had sworn i would never go back with him and that i hated him so much and even called the cops on his ass for being a stalker lol...yet in the end...we got back together.

so trust me when i say...ive been there. i hate to admit it..i was younger and not as mature and i shouldnt have fucked with people's emotions... but trust me...women do this sort of thing all the time.

[Gray]

I sent her a text/sms saying that what she did was in real bad taste, and that I can understand that everyone makes mistakes. However, I mentioned that she is clearly not over her ex and that she should give me a call when she's certain that she is. Also switched my phone off and it's staying off now until Monday.

I feel I've done the right thing.

[Angela123]

good job...tho...damn...u got willpower. i could not keep my phone off all weekend lol. id feel lost and disconnected from so many people. good luck with that.

yah..give it time...and distance...if she really, really, really wants ya...she will wait for you to cool off. let's see if she stays away from her ex during this time.

bc...think about it...if you take her back now and she isnt over her ex...and let's say she does good and you are together for another 6 months but then this shit happens again...just think how hard it will be for you then. by then you may really have love feelings towards her. so get this shit straightened out b4 you get serious emotions for her.

[jciii1976]

to bad we all can't have someone like ondrea. i would eat glass to have a chance with her.

[Angela123]

ur sweet but please...stop it.

im not a walk in the park...just ask my ex. or even my bf now lol.

[Gray]

good job...tho...damn...u got willpower. i could not keep my phone off all weekend lol. id feel lost and disconnected from so many people. good luck with that.

yah..give it time...and distance...if she really, really, really wants ya...she will wait for you to cool off. let's see if she stays away from her ex during this time.

bc...think about it...if you take her back now and she isnt over her ex...and let's say she does good and you are together for another 6 months but then this shit happens again...just think how hard it will be for you then. by then you may really have love feelings towards her. so get this shit straightened out b4 you get serious emotions for her.

Haha, I'm a saddo with all my mates being from work mostly. So still have my work phone on. She never had that number.

[MartyMcFly]

Gray.....I'm proud of you bro, you had big enough balls to do what I couldn't and should have. I definitely agree with Ondrea though, stick to your guns brother, if she's serious now, she will wait, don't get desperate. Like Ondrea said, what if this shit happens again in six or more months, when your feelings have very deep roots? Not something you want to go through (speaking from experience, I couldn't do what you just did, I sissied out and got fucked).

What ever happens brother, remember the sun is always shining, its just some times a dark cloud might block your clear vision, but only momentarily.

[Suzy Brown]

I sent her a text/sms saying that what she did was in real bad taste, and that I can understand that everyone makes mistakes. However, I mentioned that she is clearly not over her ex and that she should give me a call when she's certain that she is. Also switched my phone off and it's staying off now until Monday.

I feel I've done the right thing.
~good job!~

[Gray]

Gray.....I'm proud of you bro, you had big enough balls to do what I couldn't and should have. I definitely agree with Ondrea though, stick to your guns brother, if she's serious now, she will wait, don't get desperate. Like Ondrea said, what if this shit happens again in six or more months, when your feelings have very deep roots? Not something you want to go through (speaking from experience, I couldn't do what you just did, I sissied out and got fucked).

What ever happens brother, remember the sun is always shining, its just some times a dark cloud might block your clear vision, but only momentarily.

Thanks dude. I don't feel very strong but I just gotta do what I gotta do. I'm too old for games like that.

[Tu Holmes]

I sent her a text/sms saying that what she did was in real bad taste, and that I can understand that everyone makes mistakes. However, I mentioned that she is clearly not over her ex and that she should give me a call when she's certain that she is. Also switched my phone off and it's staying off now until Monday.

I feel I've done the right thing.

You have... now go find a chick to bang for the weekend.

You may realize you don't even want that other girl in the first place.

[BadAssBarbie]

ur sweet but please...stop it.

im not a walk in the park...just ask my ex. or even my bf now lol.
hahaha.....none of us are a walk in the park...at least not all the time. If they can love us when we're at our worst, then we're doing good. :)

[BigJD69]

Dude there are so many good women out there Dont Sweat it!!!

[Gray]

27 messages on my home phone (forgot she had that) 12 emails probably adding up to 30 pages of text. I think she is really really sorry? Can it be that women THINK they still love their ex's, leave the current guy, go back with the ex on one date and remember why she left him in the first place, then want to current guy back? I'll give it till next weekend and ring her then. She needs to sweat some more this week. Shoot me, but I really like this one :(

[Angela123]

darling...seriously...why do you care what strangers think? lol.

do what you want. its your life...if you want to give her another chance, then do it.

i still think there still might be unresolved issues. right now she really hates him. its when she has no feelings for him that you are in the clear. she shouldnt even had wanted to see if she still wanted him. and who knows...maybe she wanted him back but he said no..and that is why she said, she hates him and wants to run away with you for a week. did u get the story from her. what went down on their so called date.

good idea about making her wait til next weekend though.

[Suzy Brown]

30ish messages in a weekend sounds weird & desperate to me... I'd say you have a flake on your hands, & who wants to be tied to a flake?

[Tu Holmes]

30ish messages in a weekend sounds weird & desperate to me... I'd say you have a flake on your hands, & who wants to be tied to a flake?


http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh26/saweeet88/crazy_bitch.png

[njdiva]

27 messages on my home phone (forgot she had that) 12 emails probably adding up to 30 pages of text. I think she is really really sorry? Can it be that women THINK they still love their ex's, leave the current guy, go back with the ex on one date and remember why she left him in the first place, then want to current guy back? I'll give it till next weekend and ring her then. She needs to sweat some more this week. Shoot me, but I really like this one :(

ok, just catching up on this thread, and I have to agree with the masses, you are the rebound guy and unless she can prove she's over the ex, run like the wind kiddo! some women do not realize that they have a good thing, that they should treat the men they are with like kings and show them respect and love. she's jerking you around and you sooooo deserve better! if you like her, and you are willing to wait, knowing that you might be headed for a big fall, wait for her. but if you know that you are going to be crushed leave now!

[Formula94]

I'm seriously at a fucking loss here.

Two days ago I made a thread, asking how to show a girl a good time via massage. I also mentioned she did enjoy it thoroughly and I couldn't have received more compliments from her if I asked for them. All was well and all have been since early January. I know this since she initiated most of the contact, meetings and dates. Off course I've also done my part in making sure that she enjoy spending time with me, surprised her with day outs, gifts etc. When around my place, she never wanted to leave etc. In short, everything was balanced.

So this afternoon she rings me upset, telling me that she is still not over her ex and she is meeting up with him tonight to 'talk things over'. So immediately I thought, WTF, she hardly ever mentioned him, but tried to be as supportive as possible, biting my lip really really fucking hard and told her that she SHOULD meet him if it's going to help. (a.k.a, polishing the gun and aiming it at my foot). She said she appreciated my understanding and will be in touch before the meet and directly after and that this is just something she must do for her own peace of mind.

So I had a shitty afternoon, early evening came, no message, the time for the meeting came, nothing, no message. This is really grating on me now.
Just as I thought I'd allow myself to fall in love again, I get whacked on the balls very hard and reminded that this women creatures, truly are from Venus.

I've now started preparing myself for the worst. Feeling like shit, not in the mood to train, disinterested in work, can't be fucked to force food into myself six times a day, constantly wondering if I fucked up, etc etc.
Funny thing is, I know it's not my fault and not in my power to change it. Still, I'm feeling like shit right now. When will I learn :(
This just happened to me for the second time today. Luckily she had the guts to tell me now after only a couple weeks instead of drawing it out for 3 months like the last g/f.

[Ninja Loco]

Please explain women to me Simple. They go for looks and or a big cock. If you dont have either, you're fucked.

They will deny this till they are blue in the face. Believe it, and you're fucked.


Will I ever learn?
Not unless you learn what I said. Try to figure anything else out about them and..... you're fucked.


Simple.

[baby gorilla]

I'm seriously at a fucking loss here.

Two days ago I made a thread, asking how to show a girl a good time via massage. I also mentioned she did enjoy it thoroughly and I couldn't have received more compliments from her if I asked for them. All was well and all have been since early January. I know this since she initiated most of the contact, meetings and dates. Off course I've also done my part in making sure that she enjoy spending time with me, surprised her with day outs, gifts etc. When around my place, she never wanted to leave etc. In short, everything was balanced.

So this afternoon she rings me upset, telling me that she is still not over her ex and she is meeting up with him tonight to 'talk things over'. So immediately I thought, WTF, she hardly ever mentioned him, but tried to be as supportive as possible, biting my lip really really fucking hard and told her that she SHOULD meet him if it's going to help. (a.k.a, polishing the gun and aiming it at my foot). She said she appreciated my understanding and will be in touch before the meet and directly after and that this is just something she must do for her own peace of mind.

So I had a shitty afternoon, early evening came, no message, the time for the meeting came, nothing, no message. This is really grating on me now.
Just as I thought I'd allow myself to fall in love again, I get whacked on the balls very hard and reminded that this women creatures, truly are from Venus.

I've now started preparing myself for the worst. Feeling like shit, not in the mood to train, disinterested in work, can't be fucked to force food into myself six times a day, constantly wondering if I fucked up, etc etc.
Funny thing is, I know it's not my fault and not in my power to change it. Still, I'm feeling like shit right now. When will I learn :(

Have you banged this broad yet? How long you been "seeing" her?

If you're busy taking this chick out, giving her massages, spending time and she hasn't banged you AND she's talking to you about going to go see her old boyfriend....

YOU'RE IN THE FRIEND ZONE!! You her fucken BFF!! You're fucked, son!

[baby gorilla]

I sent her a text/sms saying that what she did was in real bad taste, and that I can understand that everyone makes mistakes. However, I mentioned that she is clearly not over her ex and that she should give me a call when she's certain that she is. Also switched my phone off and it's staying off now until Monday.

I feel I've done the right thing.


Oh my god!!

Dude, go shave your pussy and put on a pretty dress. You're talking like a fucken teenaged girl.