Weak? Or Just Human???

[BadAssBarbie]

Ok, ladies! I have a question! Let me preface this question first though:

I'm 3 weeks out from my next fitness competition. I started my diet 14 weeks ago. Up until the last week or so, it didn't bother me to be around other people who are eating alln the yummy food that I can't have. Now, I'm seriously struggling with this diet. I'm tired, irritable, bitchy, and REALLY feel that I can't be around junk food right now. Last Fri, I called Dave and had a complete emotional/mental breakdown.....waterworks and all. Anyway, for me to stick to this diet for 3 more weeks, I need junk food, especially my favorite foods, to be far, far away from me.
The other day, after witnessing my breakdown, my bf decided to bring home Whataburger(one of my favorites.) He THOUGHT he was being nice bc I was sick, and he brought this home so I wouldn't have to cook dinner for him or my kids. I give him credit for trying to be thoughtful, but I felt like he was just torturing me by bringing all that Whataburger food home...and of course my whole house smelled like cheeseburgers!
Anyway, when I brought this up, he tells me that when he's dieting, it doesn't bother him to have other people eating stuff in front of him because HE'S STRONGER THAN THAT. He then proceeds to tell me that if I can't handle being around food when I'm dieting(oh ya, whoopie...only the last 3 weeks), then this sport isn't for me.....this sport that I have been doing for 7 years. He said if I can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen, and that I'm not as strong of a person as I think...I need to take a look in the mirror. Point blank. He said to just face it...the truth hurts, and if it hurts I should just say ouch.
So, my ??? is: By needing him to be considerate of what I'm going through right now, and me needing him to just not bring that stuff around me for a few weeks.....does that really mean that I am weak and shouldn't be in this sport??? Or does it just mean I'm human???
Is it just me thinking that he's being very insulting, mean, and non-supportive? I am a complete mess right now after all this!! I couldn't even pull myself together long enough to go practice my routine!!!
Do y'all do ok your last few weeks when you have to be around people eating a bunch of food that you can't have??
I know it's my choice to compete, and everyone else shouldn't have to be restricted bc of what I'm doing. I just think it's not too much to ask of my boyfriend/fiance, who I need right now, to just stay away with the junk food.....especially since he's supposed to be on his off-season diet anyway!!
HELP!!! Am I crazy? :eek:

[BK]

Sounds like your BF is being a complete tool. Everybody has differing degrees of discipline but I can see where being only three weeks away from a show can be difficult as hell. You are not being oversensitive.

[zander]

Im two weeks out and I own a grocery supermarket .... talk about brain fuck. Thing is I realize that it will take more than one craving cave in to satisfy me ... kinda like craving for a smoke , having it and being unsatisfied and sick from it..... so whats the use ..... just stick to it and enjoy a really nice meal post comp.

[tight booty]

When I was two weeks out from one of my shows, my mum bought over freshly baked cookies for my children. You could smell them, they were that fresh from out of the oven. Basically, you have to stay strong and remember that it is your choice to do this. You have come this far and are so close so hang in there....it will all be worth it! Visualise the end result and stick with your diet! This is a test of will power and the mind. You can do it....;)

[Por2gue]

I think he was trying to give you some tuff love, that's all. You are human like the rest of us.

[IRONURSE]

That's tough torture. I find myself asking my husband if he minds if I eat certain things around him while he's in pre-contest prep.
Maybe you could ask him to eat the forbidden food away from you? Out of sight, out of mind?

Edit: Oh yeah ... the "you're not as strong as I am" in regard to the diet stuff is BS! That's just plain disrespectful and rude IMO. What's he trying to prove? I would think ,that he, being a bb he would show you some support and build you up rather than trying to tear you down. Sorry girl but I would be sooooo pissed!
Right now my husband and I are on different diets (he has contests in 4 and 6 weeks) and today is his carb up / refeed day ... Yeah I would love to have the Krispy Kreme donuts but he won't shove them in my face. lol.

[SallyAnne]

Sounds like your BF is being a complete tool. Everybody has differing degrees of discipline but I can see where being only three weeks away from a show can be difficult as hell. You are not being oversensitive.

I agree with this.

[DaveV]

This thread reminds me why people are better off without companions.

[zander]

Hmmm hes a BBer so maybe some need for more compassion.

My wife and kids eat whatever they want , heck I even cook it for them. No big deal. But it definatly smells good lol ....

[Sistersteel]

This thread reminds me why people are better off without companions.

I am sorry I disagree. I think having the RIGHT companion can play a very vital role in a competitive athlete's success. Nothing like a good support system.
No joy in going through this life alone for the sake of competing.

[BadAssBarbie]

That's tough torture. I find myself asking my husband if he minds if I eat certain things around him while he's in pre-contest prep.
Maybe you could ask him to eat the forbidden food away from you? Out of sight, out of mind?

Edit: Oh yeah ... the "you're not as strong as I am" in regard to the diet stuff is BS! That's just plain disrespectful and rude IMO. What's he trying to prove? I would think ,that he, being a bb he would show you some support and build you up rather than trying to tear you down. Sorry girl but I would be sooooo pissed!
Right now my husband and I are on different diets (he has contests in 4 and 6 weeks) and today is his carb up / refeed day ... Yeah I would love to have the Krispy Kreme donuts but he won't shove them in my face. lol.
EXACTLY what I think. All I asked was to keep the junk away from me..especially my favorites...just for a few weeks.
He finally agreed to do so, but still thinks that means I'm not strong. I just can't wait til he is 3 weeks out!!! I will not do to him what he did to me. Even though there was an apology, I was still left feeling like shit.

[Suzanne]

I don't think he should have said the stuff the did the way he did

but in my case i made the choice to do this and no one around me has to change how they eat whether i am off season or 2 days out. i will even go out with them and bring my food. My husband and daughter ate my very favorite food in front of me 1 week out form a show and i just watched and smelled the delicious deep dish pizza! My prep food is always behind alll the yummy food in the fridge and freezer.

[BadAssBarbie]

I don't think he should have said the stuff the did the way he did

but in my case i made the choice to do this and no one around me has to change how they eat whether i am off season or 2 days out. i will even go out with them and bring my food. My husband and daughter ate my very favorite food in front of me 1 week out form a show and i just watched and smelled the delicious deep dish pizza! My prep food is always behind alll the yummy food in the fridge and freezer.
I hear ya! All my kids' yummy foof is always in front of mine too. They have pizza night every Friday. Last week, I waited for the pizza to be delivered, and went to the gym while they ate so I wouldn't have to smell it;) That day that all this other shit happened, I had been having a few really rough days. i just thought he should have been more considerate at that time...and be positive instead of so shitty.
I don't ask others to change what they're eating. I, too, have gone out to dinner, parties, etc and brought my own food and watched everyone else eat. I just feel like since he is a bber, he should understand that I'm struggling these last few weeks. I don't care what he eats, but he didn't need to bring it home and make my whole house smell like cheseburgers when he knew what a bad day I was having, etc. I don't expect most people to understand or be considerate, but HE is a bber and is also supposedly dieting. So...........you get what I'm saying.

[tammyp]

barb i get this way close too. the last 2 weeks, i am not focused at ALL. and its a good thing im ready early or it would be hard for me to push that extra at that point. im just sick of it by then and hate the world. i feel for ya!

[seek2find]

You know, I have the same "problem" but I honestly think that the last few weeks are more difficult for a woman than a man, since a really low body fatprocentage is more of a threat to a womans body. (reproduction and so on)

That makes her drive to eat much worse, and that may be hard to understand for a man. I've heard not so experienced male trainers question female clients, "How can you be so hungry the last few weeks???" and so on, and the answer is in our physiology.

[GirlyMuscle]

I get tired of hearing this strength vs weakness argument. Strength isn't the absence of the desire. Strength is doing whatever it takes to keep yourself on track. Strength is picking yourself up after you've stumbled and getting back at it. You aren't weak because foods smell too good. You aren't weak because you can't have them in the house. You're strong because you know how to deal with all the temptation.

I have to agree with the "tool" comments. As your significant other, your bf should be in your corner, not fighting against you. Everyone is different and needs different things. Me, personally, I'd see this as a red flag in the relationship.

And I'm sorry Barbie...I'm gonna say it....YOU? Weak? The woman who, without arms, competes in the most athletic class of the bodybuilding world, not to mention the obstacles you've had to overcome your entire life. Weak? Yeah right.

[Suzanne]

You know, I have the same "problem" but I honestly think that the last few weeks are more difficult for a woman than a man, since a really low body fatprocentage is more of a threat to a womans body. (reproduction and so on)

That makes her drive to eat much worse, and that may be hard to understand for a man. I've heard not so experienced male trainers question female clients, "How can you be so hungry the last few weeks???" and so on, and the answer is in our physiology.

I have not found this to be true I have had the last 2 weeks be the eaist and nothing there was no letting up of my diet or cardio it is just that it is so close the adrenalin kicks in

Two weeks out from Nationals i spent baking every day and I NEVER bake lol

I think how hard it is at the end depends on the person, the how that individual prep went etc not the gender

[tiramisu]

I laughed but it's still mean. Whataburger.... I'm on week 2 of Dave's diet and I made reservations for my "refeed" meal yesterday. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water.

7 course dinner with a flight of 5 wines.
Cuisine of the Loire Valley

mmmm....

If my wife brought home a double chili burger and fries I would have to go outside and sit in the car.

[**blondie**]

I can relate & sympathize w/ you. I am ok w/ watching people eat crap in front of me I can get past it- I just focus on my goals. Although I can say that when my boyfriend was competing I actually didn't eat any junk food in front of him now I can't say the same for him now that I'm 6 wks away from a show. I knew he could handle it if I did but I don't know I just knew I would feel horrible doing it. But apparently men don't think that way because he eats crap in front of me all the time & doesn't think twice. Sometimes there are little points where it irks me but for the most part I'm ok. Men.

[BadAssBarbie]

You know, I have the same "problem" but I honestly think that the last few weeks are more difficult for a woman than a man, since a really low body fatprocentage is more of a threat to a womans body. (reproduction and so on)

That makes her drive to eat much worse, and that may be hard to understand for a man. I've heard not so experienced male trainers question female clients, "How can you be so hungry the last few weeks???" and so on, and the answer is in our physiology.
I DID explain that to him. he said he never heard that before. I don't know if he doesn't believe me or just still thinks it's a strength issue, but i don't think he GETS it by any means.

[BadAssBarbie]

I get tired of hearing this strength vs weakness argument. Strength isn't the absence of the desire. Strength is doing whatever it takes to keep yourself on track. Strength is picking yourself up after you've stumbled and getting back at it. You aren't weak because foods smell too good. You aren't weak because you can't have them in the house. You're strong because you know how to deal with all the temptation.

I have to agree with the "tool" comments. As your significant other, your bf should be in your corner, not fighting against you. Everyone is different and needs different things. Me, personally, I'd see this as a red flag in the relationship.

And I'm sorry Barbie...I'm gonna say it....YOU? Weak? The woman who, without arms, competes in the most athletic class of the bodybuilding world, not to mention the obstacles you've had to overcome your entire life. Weak? Yeah right.
AWWW:) Thank you!!! I needed to hear that today!!!

[BadAssBarbie]

barb i get this way close too. the last 2 weeks, i am not focused at ALL. and its a good thing im ready early or it would be hard for me to push that extra at that point. im just sick of it by then and hate the world. i feel for ya!
Thanks, Tammy. It's nice to know others are the same way. I'm actually very focused, but that doesn't mean it's easy.
Last night, he wanted us to go to a late movie. HAHAHA I'm 2 weeks out, tired as hell, surviving on about 900 cal/day, doing 2 1/2 hrs cardio, training, and still not slacking on the rest of my responsibilities(house, kids, him, etc). I have to get up at 6am for am cardio. A late movie? Kidding me??? I already can hardly keep my eyes open past 7pm. lol
Not to mention, sitting in a theater for 2 hours smelling popcorn and listening to everyone around me eating popcorn!!!! Why would I subject myself to that right now?????????????????????????????????????????????/ Gimme a friggin' break!!!!!! I was nice about it, but we didn't go!
I don't know if he's just forgotten how ya feel 2 weeks out and how hard it is or what...since he hasn't dieted or competed in 2 years. WHO knows??!!!
I just can't wait to see how he is during prep time!!! He says he's all "strong" and great, but I spoke to his sister about it, and she laughed. Apparently, he is NOT as pleasant or as "strong" as he seems to remember in his own wild imagination! LOL His turn is coming!!!!!!! Ofcourse, I won't be mean and do to him what he does to me. I am more considerate and supportive than that:)
ANYWAY, thanks Tammy!

[sassy69]

I get all the arguments but at the end of the day, you either do it or you don't. I've gone thru all the food stuff as well, but so much of it is association. If a diet coke is the best I can do, that diet coke it is. I find I'm just so much better off w/o even considering food as anything other than fueling time. I get all the arguments about discipline etc, but at the end of the day, you either do it or you don't. When you put it in those terms, the whole struggle about whether or not you are tempted, is completely removed because its not an option whether or not its there.

[ripcurlgirl]

Tough love, maybe but ouch! I'd have to sit out in the car too lol! I think it's especially rough because home is supposed to be your safe zone. You know that when you're at work you'll get to watch your fat co-worker eat a bunch of "1 point" crap void of nutrition and ask you stupid questions why her diet isn't working. At the mall you'll smell the cinnabon from a mile away...But at home I have to clear stuff out. My husband has his own shelf where I put his yummy stuff, and sometimes there are McDonald wrappers in the garbage...the other day when I got home from work he asked me to get him a beer. I laughed and cracked one open for him...he'll be dieting in May, then the jam will be on my shelf. We're all strong, some days more than other, that's what makes us human.

[tammyp]

towards the end, i am a home body and really like being alone. being social for my job is enough when i am hungry and tired.

[ripcurlgirl]

I agree, you're managing your energy. Doing that requires different things for different people. I'm with you, at home on the couch with netflix :)

[~Dayna~]

For me that last two weeks and even more the last week before a show is the most emotionally dranning thing. I am normally very level head and in control but I get to the point where it is very difficult to to control any and all emotions it is like you start feeling everything so much deeper. However I must say what your bf did say is very dickish nothing worse then someone dicounting your feelings.

[BadAssBarbie]

Ya, know, I think that's what hurt the most...that he totally made me feel like my feelings weren't even valid. Like, it's not how he feels, so it's just stupid/ridiculous/retarded or whatever.