Trouble making female friends

[KBigz81]

I was curious if anyone has trouble making female friends who don't lift or who aren't as passionate about lifting as you.
I have "girl friends" but don't ever hang out with them because they are usually going to a bar or some are single and they are just out to get laid. I'm married so of course thats not my thing. But I seem to have some close male friends. And thats all they are. One of them is a good training partner but it drives my husband crazy. Anyone else have this problem?

[Curt James]

I was curious if anyone has trouble making female friends who don't lift or who aren't as passionate about lifting as you.
I have "girl friends" but don't ever hang out with them because they are usually going to a bar or some are single and they are just out to get laid. I'm married so of course thats not my thing. But I seem to have some close male friends. And thats all they are. One of them is a good training partner but it drives my husband crazy. Anyone else have this problem?

That's terrible. Please pm their names and numbers and I'll discuss the hazards of this behavior with them ASAP.

...

Okay, cue the serious responses.

[KBigz81]

lol I know such a terrible life, sex and alcohol! How can it get any better than that?

[Curt James]

I was curious if anyone has trouble making female friends who don't lift or who aren't as passionate about lifting as you.
I have "girl friends" but don't ever hang out with them because they are usually going to a bar or some are single and they are just out to get laid. I'm married so of course thats not my thing. But I seem to have some close male friends. And thats all they are. One of them is a good training partner but it drives my husband crazy. Anyone else have this problem?


lol I know such a terrible life, sex and alcohol! How can it get any better than that?

Sex and booze does have a certain appeal to it, right? lol

From your avatar, it looks like there are few who are as passionate about lifting as you. Is that the issue? Perhaps you could seek out a new social circle other than your "party girl" friends.

What are your other interests? Do you have a 9-5 job?

At one time we had a dinner club at school, but that's fallen by the wayside. I guess it's difficult for you to train, eat, be with your husband, and have a social life.

Do you attend church services? I'm not a churchgoer, but see that as one very dependable social outlet. And you probably won't have to dodge a lot of drinking and sex. ;)

[MsGuns]

I guess it like when you become a Christian....you stop doing certain things and your friends complain you are changing. Yall stop hanging all 2gether.

[tight booty]

Most of the friends I have made and hang out with, live a similar lifestyle and are in the fitness industry! I have one friend of 19 years who smokes and that irritates me and actually now that I have thought about this, I have agreed to stay with her for a few days in March when I go to Melbourne and she will be smoking in her home making me sick.....:mad: So obviously I won't stay with her for more than a couple of days. But I love her dearly and I need to see her while down there for the Aussie pro show!

[Toniann]

I know where you are coming from, it can be lonely at times not having anyone else with the same interest as you. I am the only woman in my gym that works out all the others and there, are there not many come in and do cardio and complain about life.
For me I have become more active on here and other boards and I have made a friend who I pretty much speak to daily and I am actually going to visit her when it warms up and she is going to help me with my posing and routine.

[tammyp]

i have a few close friends here, but my closest friends live away. and they are in the industry. figures right?

[ActionTan]

My female friends are few and far between full stop! Always have been but the ones I have some lift and some are as far from lifting as you can get lol....I like that diversity! I find too many female friends wayyyyyyy too much hard work and I don't quite know how they 'function' within group dynamics and it makes me uncomfortable and then the whole really girlie girlie stuff just really goes over my head. Lads I can have a good banter with, they are less likely to take offence at comments. Saying all that the girlfriends that I do have I treasure dearly and accept them just they way they are just as they do with me so it all kind of works out in the wash!

[KBigz81]

We've thought about joining a larger church where there are people our age there. My church is very small and mainly elderly people go. No one our age.
There are 2 fbb's in my gym me and another girl but she is prego right now. But thats it in this area. I've noticed there a alot of fbb's in Chicago though, which is a 2 hour drive from here.
I'm a personal trainer at Golds now so I'm getting to know some of the other trainers there.
It is frustrating because it can get lonely. My husband wants me to have more female friends, and I've tried but I have nothing in common with alot of women.

[LisaRD23]

I have allways had a problem making female friends, even before I changed my lifestyle. I had to give up the haning out very early, so I allways felt on a different level compared to the other girls my age...still do.

I work 9-5 + and when I get into the gym at night I am so focused on getting my training in, then running home to take care of the family that even if there are other females in the gym who are not just "cardio bunnies" it's hard to try to get to know someone.

I've recently reconnected with some family, cousins who I haven't to in years. But even they don't completely understand why I can't just go to dinner and "eat a salad".

[tammyp]

most women are bitches. seriously! i find in this sport it is so NOT that way..but in everyday life...totally. and if you are pretty and single..even harder.

[cat]

most women are bitches. seriously! i find in this sport it is so NOT that way..but in everyday life...totally. and if you are pretty and single..even harder.

Sad

[musclemilf]

most women are bitches. seriously! i find in this sport it is so NOT that way..but in everyday life...totally. and if you are pretty and single..even harder.

I concur!

[KBigz81]

Women are bitches! You know how many dirty, nasty looks I get at the gym. My husband thinks they are jealous and want to look like me but know they can't and thats why I get the evil stares. Now why in the hell would I want to talk to them?:dunno:
Some I feel are intimidated and are afraid to talk to me. I don't understand why? I'm a pretty outgoing, nice person, but when I hit the weights I'm focused and determined and I think that scares alot of women. Society has built us up as ditsy, high maintenance, whiny, back stabbing bitches.
Sometimes I wonder about my lifestyle. Probably more than I should. People look at me as "odd" or "out of place". After a while you start feeling that way.

[Curt James]

So you're all facing the opposite of this movie in a way.

kRLf04gH7mc

Serious tip... hit the new church with the younger people, women your age, but wear big clothes and no makeup. Treat it like an adventure in secret identities. Let people get to know the non-bodybuilder you.

I'm not saying to deny your interests, but perhaps some women are intimidated by your physicality. :dunno:

[musclemilf]

Women are bitches! You know how many dirty, nasty looks I get at the gym. My husband thinks they are jealous and want to look like me but know they can't and thats why I get the evil stares.

The ones giving you the stink eye are usually the fat assed cardio queens who hits McDonalds after their workout.

I'm feeling sooo catty today.. Meow!

[tammyp]

they are intimidated. i used to get that all the time at the gym. even if i said hello, smiled whatever..once i got to know someone a bit they told me i intimidated them. same as a trainer...i guess people wanted someone they could relate to..and i wasnt it:)

[MacFlashGordon]

they are intimidated. i used to get that all the time at the gym. even if i said hello, smiled whatever..once i got to know someone a bit they told me i intimidated them. same as a trainer...i guess people wanted someone they could relate to..and i wasnt it:)

But of course! You're a woman, you're pretty and you're built like a brick shithouse. My God!! You're probably a Lesbian!!! Right?

[KBigz81]

Funny you say that Tammy. Now that I'm training alot of those cardio bunnies they admit that they were scared of me. But once they talk to me of course it eases their mind.

[Jasmine]

I am an RX “lurker” but have found this thread of interest as it is something that I have found interesting over the years. I too don’t have many female friends and find it much easier to develop good relationships with men (not referring to the sexual kind here but rather good decent friendships!). I am not a girly girl and I think a lot of girls I meet find this difficult. Looking at it from the other perspective I find the girly girl stuff difficult too! I don’t think that this makes me a person who in incapable of forming good relationships – it simply means that I am probably wired a little differently than most females. An example - I will admire and comment on an attractive female as much, if not more, than I do for an attractive male which is something that females on the whole find hard to comprehend.

We also tend to surround ourselves with people of similar mindsets and interests. I am an active person and spend a lot of my time engaged in physical activities (while I workout in the gym I am not a muscle bound goddess yet!). At this stage in my life I prefer this than sitting in a flash café, sipping the required latte talking about mindnumbingly boring topics of conversation (hair, makeup and fashion to name a few!). This is probably a bit unfair to the female population as whole as I appreciate that not all females do this! But in my limited experience you don't find many females in the gym wanting to talk about building muscle mass and correct lifting techniques!

I have also been called scary and intimidating….WTF is my response! I am a focused independent person and it is this independence that I think females have a hard time coping with. It is almost like it is expected by mainstream society that females should be dependant upon a guy in order for them to function properly – maybe this is a throw back to the knight in shining armour coming to save us era!

I work in a male dominated environment also and am viewed by my male workmates as “one of the guys”! Rather than being offended I now take this as a compliment J I am who I am and I am more than happy with that :-)

[sassy69]

I am an RX “lurker” but have found this thread of interest as it is something that I have found interesting over the years. I too don’t have many female friends and find it much easier to develop good relationships with men (not referring to the sexual kind here but rather good decent friendships!). I am not a girly girl and I think a lot of girls I meet find this difficult. Looking at it from the other perspective I find the girly girl stuff difficult too! I don’t think that this makes me a person who in incapable of forming good relationships – it simply means that I am probably wired a little differently than most females. An example - I will admire and comment on an attractive female as much, if not more, than I do for an attractive male which is something that females on the whole find hard to comprehend.

We also tend to surround ourselves with people of similar mindsets and interests. I am an active person and spend a lot of my time engaged in physical activities (while I workout in the gym I am not a muscle bound goddess yet!). At this stage in my life I prefer this than sitting in a flash café, sipping the required latte talking about mindnumbingly boring topics of conversation (hair, makeup and fashion to name a few!). This is probably a bit unfair to the female population as whole as I appreciate that not all females do this! But in my limited experience you don't find many females in the gym wanting to talk about building muscle mass and correct lifting techniques!

I have also been called scary and intimidating….WTF is my response! I am a focused independent person and it is this independence that I think females have a hard time coping with. It is almost like it is expected by mainstream society that females should be dependant upon a guy in order for them to function properly – maybe this is a throw back to the knight in shining armour coming to save us era!

I work in a male dominated environment also and am viewed by my male workmates as “one of the guys”! Rather than being offended I now take this as a compliment J I am who I am and I am more than happy with that :-)

Me exactly. I've always gone to the gym on my own time like it was my own secret indulgence. I've had a few female friends from the gym but since I've moved around so much, I have to start over every time I move.

It would be nice to have more people to hang out w/ , but if it meant I had to give up my gym time & compromise my "fitness lifestyle", I don't think I want it. I'm actually pretty satisfied w/ my life, but a little more social opportunity would be nice every now & then.

[GirlyMuscle]

I don't have a lot of close friends, period. I can probably count them on one hand. I do have a lot of aquaintences though. I have one very close best female friend and she isn't the slightest bit interested in fitness. She did trek to NYC with me though for my show. She fully supports my bbing even though she says I "used to have such pretty little arms." LOL Just as in love, friendship needs to be unconditional.

I find I don't really have time for a lot of friends so I go with quality over quantity.

[Gaoshang Xiongshou]

Women are bitches! You know how many dirty, nasty looks I get at the gym. My husband thinks they are jealous and want to look like me but know they can't and thats why I get the evil stares. Now why in the hell would I want to talk to them?:dunno:
Some I feel are intimidated and are afraid to talk to me. I don't understand why? I'm a pretty outgoing, nice person, but when I hit the weights I'm focused and determined and I think that scares alot of women. Society has built us up as ditsy, high maintenance, whiny, back stabbing bitches.
Sometimes I wonder about my lifestyle. Probably more than I should. People look at me as "odd" or "out of place". After a while you start feeling that way.


You should embrace it then. Think about "them" and all that "they" seem to go through, and their issues... do you really want to be one of them?

Hell no.

[ANADROLicfreak]

:p i will be your friend.

[FitnBuf]

most women are bitches. seriously! i find in this sport it is so NOT that way..but in everyday life...totally. and if you are pretty and single..even harder.

I agree the average woman is hard to trust and they judge the lifestyle w/o knowing anything about it.

I find I have less female friends since I have changed my lifestyle. Sucks, but it is better then drinking your loneliness like the bar-hopping hussies.

Stay stronge as you are better off with your hubby! :hmn:

[KBigz81]

You should embrace it then. Think about "them" and all that "they" seem to go through, and their issues... do you really want to be one of them?

Hell no.

I used to have that type of lifestyle from 18-21 and I don't miss going to the bars as a single girl. But I know that I can't handle alcohol. I get super horny and thats not good when your married unless I'm with him of course. So its probably a good thing that I have no interest in going to the bars.


:p i will be your friend.
Will you please??? :hmn:

[KBigz81]

I agree the average woman is hard to trust and they judge the lifestyle w/o knowing anything about it.

I find I have less female friends since I have changed my lifestyle. Sucks, but it is better then drinking your loneliness like the bar-hopping hussies.

Stay stronge as you are better off with your hubby! :hmn:

I agree, only problem is that he thinks I can make female friends with the snap of a finger. Thats just not going to happen.

[ANADROLicfreak]

im here for ya.

[Allifit]

It would be nice to have more people to hang out w/ , but if it meant I had to give up my gym time & compromise my "fitness lifestyle", I don't think I want it. I'm actually pretty satisfied w/ my life, but a little more social opportunity would be nice every now & then.

This is pretty much right in line with how I feel. I'm by no means old, but I am old enough to realize it's far more important to make lifestyle decisions that work for YOU not for your friends. At the end of the day, if those decisions separate me from some of my "friends", then I have to question what it was that created the friendship to begin with.

I have two very close girlfriends, one who lives about 20 minutes from me and one who lives in Maryland. Both compete or have competed and so both understand and are supportive of my lifestyle. It's far more important to me the quality of my friendships rather then the quantity.

Thank God for those two- or I think I'd have zero friends sometimes lol. I'm very much a loner, and I tend to become a hermit if I'm not careful. Between the gym and the grocery store I don't seem to get much social interaction on a day to day basis- something I need to work on ;) lol.

[shankuan]

Women are bitches! You know how many dirty, nasty looks I get at the gym. My husband thinks they are jealous and want to look like me but know they can't and thats why I get the evil stares. Now why in the hell would I want to talk to them?:dunno:
Some I feel are intimidated and are afraid to talk to me. I don't understand why? I'm a pretty outgoing, nice person, but when I hit the weights I'm focused and determined and I think that scares alot of women. Society has built us up as ditsy, high maintenance, whiny, back stabbing bitches.
Sometimes I wonder about my lifestyle. Probably more than I should. People look at me as "odd" or "out of place". After a while you start feeling that way.

I get those looks because I'M a CRASS BITCH when i hit the gym to workout or train clients and i don't like to waste time or appreciate ppl who want to waste mine or my client's. Because I tell those said cardio bunnies and machine hogs they need to find someplace else to lounge and socialize (because they are doing it at the risk of other's ppl's safety when they chat while moving dbells or bars or don't pay att'n to what they are doing) they don't feel compeled to make friends with me. :D

While i sometimes wish i had a hardcore female training partner more often than not i'm happy training myself and then i have you guys here to talk gym/cardio/fitness and everything else with. I'm happy with that. :yep:


I don't have a lot of close friends, period. I can probably count them on one hand. I do have a lot of aquaintences though.

I find I don't really have time for a lot of friends so I go with quality over quantity.

I'm with GM with quality over quantity! My closest friends understand my lifestyle and respect me for it and they are not into fitness! I've pretty much gone thru the phase of needing to make new friends so i'm happy with the ones i have that have been with me even BEFORE this lifestyle change. Women friends are another thing, I just can't deal with the drama...WHY is it that supposedly 'normal' women have SOOO MUCH drama?!!! it confuses and boggles my brain :noidea:



Me exactly. I've always gone to the gym on my own time like it was my own secret indulgence. I've had a few female friends from the gym but since I've moved around so much, I have to start over every time I move.

It would be nice to have more people to hang out w/ , but if it meant I had to give up my gym time & compromise my "fitness lifestyle", I don't think I want it. I'm actually pretty satisfied w/ my life, but a little more social opportunity would be nice every now & then.

Ditto!!! Social opportunity is hard when in contest prep and even when out of it there are still those things that carry over which you just can't or would rather not compromise on...like sleep or eating on time. people who don't understand the lifestyle won't appreciate you walking with your own meat or choosing to leave the party early JUST so you can go home to sleep. :D and then they stop inviting you...:byeb:

[debbiebramwell]

I know where you are coming from, it can be lonely at times not having anyone else with the same interest as you. I am the only woman in my gym that works out all the others and there, are there not many come in and do cardio and complain about life.
For me I have become more active on here and other boards and I have made a friend who I pretty much speak to daily and I am actually going to visit her when it warms up and she is going to help me with my posing and routine.
:hmn: just saw this:)

[Duaneo]

I dunno if its any consolation to you, but I dont have any friends, male or female, and most of my family hates me (apart from one sister)

I am a single dad with a daughter, I work, I train and I look after her, thats my life, and I have to be content with that.

I know it might be different for guys and girls, but you just gotta play with the hand your dealt I believe.

[debbiebramwell]

I have alot of amazing girlfriends! The older you get the more you appreciate your female friends. I think part of the reason why I have so many is that I am very loving,giving, supportive,open,sincere,caring etc with other woman. I want the best for them as I would myself. I would say most of my friends do share the same lifestyle which is pretty normal because you attract people who are likeminded. I have met of my friends at shows or online.(I met my best friend on myspace!!)I think if you are open and put good out there then good will come back;)

[debbiebramwell]

I dunno if its any consolation to you, but I dont have any friends, male or female, and most of my family hates me (apart from one sister)

I am a single dad with a daughter, I work, I train and I look after her, thats my life, and I have to be content with that.

I know it might be different for guys and girls, but you just gotta play with the hand your dealt I believe.

I disagree with you in your statement about the cards you were dealt with. There is a reason why you dont have friends. I was shy when I was young and didnt have alot of friends then but do now because that is what I created. I am accountable for everything I create in life. It is up to you to get everything you want in life. :)

[Toniann]

I for one am grateful everyday to have you as a friend Debbie.

[Duaneo]

I disagree with you in your statement about the cards you were dealt with. There is a reason why you dont have friends. I was shy when I was young and didnt have alot of friends then but do now because that is what I created. I am accountable for everything I create in life. It is up to you to get everything you want in life. :)

And I disagree with you, sometimes things are beyond your control.
I simply have no time for socialising, I run my owm business, I am a single dad to a 7 year old, I train, I got a mortgage to pay, and I have to keep my household running.

Really just no time to forge a friendship, not in the real world anyway. Some pretty nice people on the boards though. Some people here I am taking a shine to.....if only the world was smaller.

[Sledge]

I dunno if its any consolation to you, but I dont have any friends, male or female, and most of my family hates me (apart from one sister)

I am a single dad with a daughter, I work, I train and I look after her, thats my life, and I have to be content with that.

I know it might be different for guys and girls, but you just gotta play with the hand your dealt I believe.

I agree. If you content and happy and have a good life then who needs them. Some people just NEED friends and that's cool too.

[debbiebramwell]

I for one am grateful everyday to have you as a friend Debbie.

I feel the same way. You and your hubbie are good people;)

[amy13]

wow - and I thought I was the only one with this "issue"...
nice to know we all have each other here!!!

I think if all dreams came true I would have a GF to do cardio with :)
help pass the time LoL...
and maybe a cheat meal too!

[sassy69]

wow - and I thought I was the only one with this "issue"...
nice to know we all have each other here!!!

I think if all dreams came true I would have a GF to do cardio with :)
help pass the time LoL...
and maybe a cheat meal too!


Cardio is my zoneout time (tho a good chat helsp it go faster...) but I'd be ecstatic if I had a female friend who could SPOT ME!

[Lann1011]

I work out with John and his lifting partner and he trains me like a BB'er.. I wonder if I was working out with another figure athlete or a FBBer if it would be a different workout :)

Oh, and I do not have any female friends here in AZ either.. I wish Sallyanne or Jillian lived closer.. I think Nitro Fueled Barbie is the closest Forum member to me..

[debbiebramwell]

I work out with John and his lifting partner and he trains me like a BB'er.. I wonder if I was working out with another figure athlete or a FBBer if it would be a different workout :)

Oh, and I do not have any female friends here in AZ either.. I wish Sallyanne or Jillian lived closer.. I think Nitro Fueled Barbie is the closest Forum member to me..


really? I have alot of female friends in az who workout. I am moving there by next year I hope!!

[figure_22]

I have an old friend I reconnected with on Facebook, she had a mastectomy a little over a year ago and was down in the dumps, gained some weight, which most likely made her MORE down in the dumps. I kept asking when we could meet halfway and get together for lunch or do something....she recently confessed she was embarrassed about her body and didn't want me to see her the way she looked now. She thought I would be disappointed in her!

Many girls are intimidated by girls who are in good shape and feel looked down upon by girls who are fit.