Taking It To The Top...Offseason Training

[Melissa]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? I loved having my contest prep journal here, so I figured, what the f? Why not do my offseason journal here too. Not too many women like to give a look into the evils of the offseason...the weight gain, the not wanting to get dressed up and go out b/c you feel like a fat cow, the rut that you find yourself in mid-offseason when you can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel as to why you're doing this--you get the point. So, this will be my (long) account of my journey to bring myself to the top of the middleweight class, both in terms of my weight and my placing.

In case people haven't figured it out, I'm an extremely goal-oriented person, and I always need to be working towards something. It keeps me focused and motivated. Hell, I start planning my offseason when I'm three weeks out from a show so that I don't completely fall apart post-show, and I would say that it works pretty well for me for the most part. I'm sure some might say I should relax a little bit and enjoy life once the show's over, and I do, but I thrive on having goals. It's just what works best for me and makes me happiest.

Right now, I have a pretty good idea of what I'm looking to accomplish through this offseason and into next year's contest season. I'm already tired of all this hooplah with the whole WPD vs. FBB, blah blah fucking blah. I started to get all cooky over it at first, and then I stepped back and thought about what my goals were when I first decided to switch to bb. I knew in order to be competitive, I'd need to be at the top of the MW class at a very conditioned 125. I also knew it would take me a few years to get there, and that's what I've been working towards since day 1 of my new venture. And since we all know how much I like to "stick to the plan," I think this will be no different. I want to see if I can get to 125 by Nationals next year with AT LEAST the same conditioning as this year. In fact, I really just want to see what 125 looks like on me. I feel like if I don't follow through with that, I'll always wonder, and I despise the "what if" game. So maybe when I reach that goal, I'll worry about whether I want to pursue a pro card in bb or try a new challenge with the WPD....or maybe just switch to bikini:hypno:

So, here's where I stand now. I weighed in at 127.4 this past Saturday, which is only 4 lbs more than what I weighed in at for Nationals (but I was holding water from the flight still at weigh-ins, which were also at night after I'd had a good 4 meals and plenty of water, too). I figure if I'd weighed in Friday morning, I'd have been about 121 or so. So bottom line, I'd say I put on about 6 or 7 lbs at the most last week....probably the best first week back post-show that I've ever had. Usually, I rebound pretty bad and put on about 12 lbs in the first week, but I'm trying to be really careful this year in hopes that not having such a major rebound will keep me from getting fat too early on in my offseason lol. But I will say that I sure do hold a lot of damn water. It's really just freaking gross.

Anyway, I was back to training last Monday--as in the day after I got back from Atlanta. I tried to take it easy (sort of), but I was still sore as hell from the crazy pumps I was getting, which is fine by me! One thing I struggle with when getting back into the swing of training after a show is accepting the loss of strength. Even though I've been competing for a few years, it's still a huge smack in the face to struggle with weights that I was killing it with at the end of the previous offseason and early on in the diet. It's really humbling to be putting weight back on AND still be weak from prep. So, I'm really looking forward to getting some of my strength back.

As you all can see, I'm even more long winded when I'm all fueled up, so it's time to buckle down because it's gonna be a long, productive offseason!

[GirlyMuscle]

I'm the same as you. I believe in laying it all out, the good, the bad, the ugly. it helps me to see the other side of bodybuilding. It was years before I realized that the women don't look like contest day year round. I had no idea until I started learning more about competing. No one likes to share the off season pics and stories.

I look forward to following your journey. Thank you for sharing. :)

[Melissa]

I'm the same as you. I believe in laying it all out, the good, the bad, the ugly. it helps me to see the other side of bodybuilding. It was years before I realized that the women don't look like contest day year round. I had no idea until I started learning more about competing. No one likes to share the off season pics and stories.

I look forward to following your journey. Thank you for sharing. :)

Thanks, Erin! Glad you'll be following along! I used to think people stayed in contest shape all year around, too until I really got involved in the sport. And that's another thing I'm hoping to work on personally this year...becoming a little more accepting of my offseason "look." I was a little better last year than the year before, so I'm hoping it'll be even better this year. Now the pics thing....that's where I'll be the first to admit I'm way to fucking vain to post offseason pics. I can hardly stand to look at them myself, so I sure as hell am not posting them on an internet forum lol. Just like in my prep journal, I'll do my best to be as descriptive as possible instead of just saying "I'm fat today":p

[Gaoshang Xiongshou]

Off season journal? Sure, I am interested. :)

[stephaniewicked]

You KNOW I'm here, girl!! I admire your focus... on-season and off. Excited to see what 2011 brings for you!

And I can relate to your excitement to return to the gym so soon after competing. Even little old me knows how incredible it feels to get back to the gym after a show. A little bit of food does wonders for my mood, attitude and energy. It does take a few weeks or more for me to be lifting weight that makes me feel womanly again, but I like the renewed sense of freshness I get at that stage of the game. It feels good to be at the gym willingly and not like I'm dragging ass anymore. :)

[Gaoshang Xiongshou]

You KNOW I'm here, girl!! I admire your focus... on-season and off. Excited to see what 2011 brings for you!

And I can relate to your excitement to return to the gym so soon after competing. Even little old me knows how incredible it feels to get back to the gym after a show. A little bit of food does wonders for my mood, attitude and energy. It does take a few weeks or more for me to be lifting weight that makes me feel womanly again, but I like the renewed sense of freshness I get at that stage of the game. It feels good to be at the gym willingly and not like I'm dragging ass anymore. :)

The 8lb. pink weights just do not do it for you, do they? :p

[stephaniewicked]

The 8lb. pink weights just do not do it for you, do they? :p

I lift REAL weights, I swear I do. :(

[Gaoshang Xiongshou]

I lift REAL weights, I swear I do. :(


I have seen plenty of your pictures. It shows :)

[Melissa]

I have seen plenty of your pictures. It shows :)

And I've seen her train, so I can vouch for the fact that she uses real weights!

[Melissa]

Ugh, what a week so far! Surprise, surprise, it's mostly because of my job. And the only thing I guess I can say is "thank you" to all my people who waited until AFTER I came back from Nationals to fuck up and/or get re-arrested. At least I didn't come back to an entire caseload in jail...they did have the courtesy of letting me get settled back in for a week first, so I do thank them for that. This week has been busy as hell, and I'm absolutely dreading tomorrow. I have to be in court on this one case that just won't seem to go away, and it's drained so much of my time and energy over the past freaking year. I'd love to just vent it all out on here, but it would definitely be inappropriate on many levels lol.

So on to the good stuff. Clarkey and I hit shoulders and chest today, which is almost always a garaunteed ego boost workout. It's easy to get a pump, and my strength is usually really good, and today was no different. I'm still working on getting my muscular endurance back, too. So while I started off strong in the workout, I found myself fading a bit toward the end. My shoulders were so pumped, I could barely raise my arms...love it!

I'm already getting to the point where I think I'm going to have to switch over into my offseason gym clothes. Offseason gym clothes=baggy t-shirts and no more tank tops lol. I know I don't look horrible, I mean it's only been a week and a half, but I just don't like to face the changes my body's going through now in the opposite direction. It seems like in the offseason, my attitude towards how I feel I look is so much more up and down than when I'm dieting. When I'm prepping, I know I look good. I'm losing weight. In the offseason, some days I'm more accepting of the weight gain and some days you'd think the world was ending for me. I think I spend so much time and energy fighting myself in an attempt to be so regimented and on schedule that I wind up sabotaging myself or just plain making myself miserable. I'm sure nobody would be surprised to know that I've been told by more than one person that I just need to chill out lol. One of these days I'll figure out how to lighten up:p

[The Prodigy]

What the plan for 2011? Got your eyes on any shows?

[tammyp]

here ya there mel....i hate dressing off season...thank god its always winter so i can cover up more. and i dont gain as much as alot of girls do, but when your short....ugh!

[Melissa]

What the plan for 2011? Got your eyes on any shows?

Of course I do! Right now I'm planning on just doing Nationals. Next year is looking like another year of weddings for me, and I'm in some of them. So financially and schedule-wise, I think I can only pull off one show. I have also decided that I'm petitioning my friends to have a Singles Shower for me since I don't forsee a bridal shower in my near (or distant, for that matter) future....I could use new sheets, towels, dishes, etc!:yep:


here ya there mel....i hate dressing off season...thank god its always winter so i can cover up more. and i dont gain as much as alot of girls do, but when your short....ugh!

Yeah, if there's one good thing about the cold winters in NY it's that we can cover up the offseason fluff. And I admittedly do gain a significant amount of weight during my offseason. I was just having a mini meltdown about this last night because I'm just always hungry. And in my mind, I can't help but think, I sacrifice and am hungry for 16 weeks, why do I have to be hungry during my offseason too? We have tried so many different offseason diet combinations and calorie numbers and cardio regimens, and it still doesn't seem to make a difference. I'm fairly certain that my problem has nothing to do with a lack of committment or an inability to stick to a plan (mostly because I'm really OCD about this stuff). I'm pretty convinced at this point that I simply put fat on quite a bit easier than some people.:dunno:

[tammyp]

so do i. thats why i really have to watch it. im 145 now..up from 127 from my show and its a battle. i could eat 24/7 with ease if i could:)

[Suzanne]

Yeah, if there's one good thing about the cold winters in NY it's that we can cover up the offseason fluff. And I admittedly do gain a significant amount of weight during my offseason. I was just having a mini meltdown about this last night because I'm just always hungry. And in my mind, I can't help but think, I sacrifice and am hungry for 16 weeks, why do I have to be hungry during my offseason too? We have tried so many different offseason diet combinations and calorie numbers and cardio regimens, and it still doesn't seem to make a difference. I'm fairly certain that my problem has nothing to do with a lack of committment or an inability to stick to a plan (mostly because I'm really OCD about this stuff). I'm pretty convinced at this point that I simply put fat on quite a bit easier than some people.:dunno:

Being hungry is good means you are burning through the food even at the higher calories

i go up pretty fast too but a lot of the weight this week is glycogen i am so FULL yet lean in pics

I don't get covering up in winter clothes :dunno: for me i feel i look fatter with clothes then if wear thing like shorts and tanks

[Melissa]

so do i. thats why i really have to watch it. im 145 now..up from 127 from my show and its a battle. i could eat 24/7 with ease if i could:)

I gotta admit, it does make me feel a little better hearing you say that because I know I'm not alone in that struggle. I guess that's part of the reality of being a fbb. It truly seems that it's virtually impossible, at least for me, to stay within 10-15 lbs of my show weight (and I'm talking my weight the week before the show, not actually at weigh-ins after water is cut and I'm all depleted). At least not without staying on restricted calories somewhat. And I'm still trying to make significant changes to my physique in terms of filling out more, so I guess I have to do a better job of accepting this.



Being hungry is good means you are burning through the food even at the higher calories

i go up pretty fast too but a lot of the weight this week is glycogen i am so FULL yet lean in pics

I don't get covering up in winter clothes :dunno: for me i feel i look fatter with clothes then if wear thing like shorts and tanks

You're definitely right to some extent about burning through my food. And I'm sure that part of it is that I just need to accept my "bigger" look offseason. I can say that by no means do I get sloppy in the offseason. I guess overall I'd say I carry that weight fairly well. I just don't like it lol. I've seen plenty of fbb's that just look slopp-O in the offseason.

The pics is really the key. I was waiting until this Saturday to take my pics, so that will really give me a good idea about where I'm at. I'm definitely full of glycogen at this point. The pumps I get while training are insane. I guess we'll see what the pics have to say. Could be good, or you might hear about a fbb jumping off one of the Hudson River Crossings lol.

I don't necessarily cover up with baggy, shape hiding clothes. But winter clothes can definitely help you "re-shape" your look and slim you down a bit if worn properly and in the right sizes....that's a Stacy and Clinton tip from TLC's What Not to Wear:yep:

[Melissa]

Two weeks post-Nationals, and I'm weighing in at 130.2, which is up almost 3 lbs from last week. I was quite a bit more liberal with my eating this week, and did go overboard a few times....99% of the time, it's with clean food, but still, extra calories are extra calories. My workouts are getting back on track a bit, and I can feel my strength and energy increasing with each workout. I just had an amazing back workout this morning. One of my main focuses (is that even a word?:p) will be to improve my back this offseason....that bitch needs to be wider and have more thickness up top. I'm trying to be careful with dead lifts and squats because that mysterious hamstring injury of mine is still in full effect. In fact, I am looking into trying to see a doctor at the Hospital for Special Surgeries in NYC, because they supposedly have an excellent orthopedic/sports medicine facility. I simply can't understand how NO doctor can seem to figure out what this injury is. Anyway, I digress....so yeah, bigger back please. I wonder if Santa could bring me one for Christmas?

In other news, I have decided to change my plans up for next year....I know, I know, can you believe it? I don't ever stray from my plan lol. Anyway, after a lot of thinking, I figured maybe a bit of a shorter offseason would be a good thing for me. Instead of spending it trying not to get fat because I have 9 or 10 months of an offseason, I figured, why not shorten it up, cut loose a little bit, and push my body to make the most of a 5 or 6 month offseason. I also had the epiphany that my nearly year-long offseasons are probably part of the reason why I get fluffier than I'd like to. Hopefully, by having a shorter offseason, I can still make the improvements I want (or at least most of them), and not worry so much about gaining so much fat. For me, it's not about wanting to be able to eat crap and not do as much cardio, but rather, there's some relief of not having such a long drawn out period of time away from the stage. It can be tough to stay focused during such a long offseason, and it's mentally draining sometimes. That being said, I'm setting my sights on the USA's. And I'm so excited about this for so many reasons. I'm still going to try to reach my goal of 125, but since I'm pretty much cutting my offseason in half, I won't be too upset if I don't get to that. Regardless, I garauntee that whatever I bring to Vegas in July will be an improvement from Nationals, and then I let the chips fall where they may:yep:

[tammyp]

back has always been a weakness for me too ..i split it into a thickness day and width day..make a huge difference in my development.

[Melissa]

back has always been a weakness for me too ..i split it into a thickness day and width day..make a huge difference in my development.

Woman, we think so much alike sometimes, it's scary:hugme: I was thinking about doing exactly that!

[Melissa]

Umm, wow, what an awesome freaking weekend. I am so lucky to have such great family and friends....everyone should be so lucky. Last night, I had a little sushi dinner date with Jillian, and between the two of us, we probably ate enough sushi to fill the Atlantic Ocean. Seriously. And then we topped it off with some ice cream:yep: Gotta love some girl time!

Today, I went to what I thought was going to be a little Sunday brunch with my pseudo-parents for my birthday, but it turned out to be a small surprise party for my birthday and Eric's birthday (since we both had milestone bdays close together this year). It was just so awesome to have everyone there, and since I'm such a baby, I totally cried. Everything was so great, and while I started to get a little suspicious that something was up, it was still a really nice surprise. I mean, what can I say, I question everything:dunno:

Anyway, I officially ate more than anyone should be allowed to eat...EVER. But it was really nice because I can't remember the last time I allowed myself to really cut loose and do that and not feel guilty about it. It has to have been since before I started competing. And you know what? As I sit here typing this, I *still* don't feel guilty about it. In fact, I almost feel a sense of relief, like it was a mental break that I didn't even know I needed. While a small part of me wishes that I didn't go overboard the night before with the sushi, too, I know that it's just a matter of me getting back on my diet plan tomorrow, and I'll be right back on track. Needless to say, I should have plenty of stored up glycogen for my leg workout tomorrow.

Plans have already started formulating for how we're going to lay out my offseason, and I am so excited. To be honest, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop or something. Like, is all this good stuff and positivity going to disappear all of a sudden? I know there's no sense in worrying about that, so I'm going to hold on to it and enjoy every bit of it. I cannot wait to get redirected and focused on things for next year, and the fact that I'll be competing earlier just fires me up even more.

(P.S. It's so much easier to be a happy, upbeat person when you've rediscovered food lol)

[Suzanne]

USAs is my plan too :)

Back used to be my suckiest part, hitting it twice a week helped a lot but i don't split width and thickness i just hit it twice and vary the exercises

db dead lifts are awesome you can get a really good roll back with the shoulders

[Melissa]

USAs is my plan too :)

Back used to be my suckiest part, hitting it twice a week helped a lot but i don't split width and thickness i just hit it twice and vary the exercises

db dead lifts are awesome you can get a really good roll back with the shoulders

Oh good, I'll get to see you in Vegas then!! I've never even been to Vegas, so I'm thinking about staying a couple days after to check it out a bit.

What you've done to bring up your back has obviously worked because it's definitely one of your best body parts now. I do stif leg dl's with db's for my hams but never thought to try regular dl's with db's for my back...hmmm, certainly something to experiment with, thanks!

[2hot4u]

Melissa, you are going to have a blast in vegas if you have never been there before!!! One stop you MUST make post show is for breakfast at Hash House A Go Go!!! It is awesome!!! Sally Anne posted about this place years ago and I have been going there everytime we go to vegas. It is a must!!! Good luck in your off season show prep and i am sure you are going to do awesome at the usa's!!! My back is my better features as well and all i can say is mix it up to hit all the areas of the back for all over development and focus mainly on the building exercises!!!! Don't forget about the rear delts as well for the complete package.

[Melissa]

Melissa, you are going to have a blast in vegas if you have never been there before!!! One stop you MUST make post show is for breakfast at Hash House A Go Go!!! It is awesome!!! Sally Anne posted about this place years ago and I have been going there everytime we go to vegas. It is a must!!! Good luck in your off season show prep and i am sure you are going to do awesome at the usa's!!! My back is my better features as well and all i can say is mix it up to hit all the areas of the back for all over development and focus mainly on the building exercises!!!! Don't forget about the rear delts as well for the complete package.

Haha, awesome! I will make sure to put that place on my list of post-show eating. Thanks so much, and yes, your back is definitely an outstanding bodypart. I usually do try to stick to the major exercises for back like dl's, bb rows, chins, etc. I think the biggest problem I have is just feeling the connection back there. I was able to do that a little better this past year, so I'm just going to continue working on that.

BTW, how's your recovery and training been going? Are you going to be working at the Arnold again this year?

[Suzanne]

I do 6-7 back exercises per WO 4 sets each on my Sunday back day and 4-5 exercises on wed

Lots and lots of variation
most of the time my rep are 15, 12, 10, 8 drop 6-8
only rackpulls will i do less and still try to do 8-10 unless doing a new personal best then maybe 5-6
also do some WOs that are super sets

for me volume and lots of variation work

[Melissa]

I do 6-7 back exercises per WO 4 sets each on my Sunday back day and 4-5 exercises on wed

Lots and lots of variation
most of the time my rep are 15, 12, 10, 8 drop 6-8
only rackpulls will i do less and still try to do 8-10 unless doing a new personal best then maybe 5-6
also do some WOs that are super sets

for me volume and lots of variation work

I'm a big fan of high volume too, but I think that's mostly because I just love to train. I really enjoy being in the gym. And I try to vary my workouts quite often, too, both with exercises and rep ranges.


Ok, note to self, I will NOT be eating like I did on Sunday for a looooong time. That was like the ultimate path of destruction, and I felt absolutely horrible in just about every way imaginable yesterday. In fact, I was still feeling so crappy by last night, that I had an awful leg workout...the bloating, the water retention, the sluggish food hangover feeling--fuck me lol. But I stand by the fact that it was a mental break that I desperately needed, and I'm glad I did it. Now, I can move on with my life lol.

Today, I was off from work for Election Day (yay for being a county employee!), so I went to train shoulders and chest this morning. But I had a fun little tag-a-long. A local college student is doing her senior project on women who participate in sports that have a more masculine stereotype to them (she plays rugby for the school's team). So, she interviewed/photographed a female hockey player, female boxer, female powerlifter, and female bb. I sat down to talk with her about bodybuilding/competing on Saturday to give her some background on the sport, and then today, she came with me to the gym to shoot me while I was training (her thesis is really a photojournalism project). I was really glad to be able to help her out because she was taking a positive perspective on women in these types of sports, which I'm sure stemmed from her experiences as a female rugby player. So, I'm looking forward to seeing how her project all comes together. Plus, I want to look at the pics she got so that I can critique my form on some of my exercises:p

This week I am still without a firm offseason food plan and should have one by Saturday to start for next week. I have to admit, I was actually ok mentally with not having a plan at first. But now that I'm going onto my third week of no plan, I'm starting to get antsy. I know how to eat clean and measure my food and yadda yadda yadda, and I haven't had a problem doing that, but I likes to have me a plan, you know??? Plus, having that plan will just help make me that much more focused on being in offseason mode.

[Melissa]

Well, I finally have my offseason plan in hand and am ready to go! Food shopping tomorrow night and then it's time to roll on Saturday. Let the road to the 2011 USA's begin!!! Having the diet is finally bringing some focus into the offseason. It was good to have a week or so to just sort not follow a plan, but damn it, I was getting antsy for one. So now that it's here, I can finally wrap my head around "The Offseason."

I will say, my first reaction to the plan was, "holy mother of god, that's a lot of food!" And let me just tell you, if *I* think it's a lot of food, then it's definitely a lot of food. Because me and my inner fat kid can really pack away the calories. I haven't calculated how many it is, but at a glance, I'm thinking it has to be close to, if not at, 3,000. That's scary to me. I know my offseason is significantly shorter this year than it has been in the past, but I seem to have this unusually strong fear this year of getting too "festively plump." I guess I just need to lean on the fact that Sean and I have a solid base to work from with my previous offseason plans and from this year's prep and have a lot of useful information to apply here. That's one of the best things about us working together, the fact that I can express these concerns to him and know that he'll listen, take them into consideration, and always explain to me his reasoning for what he has planned. And if he feels my concerns are legit, he's more than happy to make changes to ease my mind if he feels it won't detract from the ultimate end goal.

Now, for any guys reading this, here's your warning...this next part could be TMI, but that's the price you pay for hanging out in the women's section, particularly in a woman's journal who has little/no brain-to-mouth filter (or in this case, brain-to-fingers):p I imagine I'm not the only female competitor who loses her period for the majority of prep, so I'm sure some of you women can relate. I usually lose it the first month of prep, and it won't return until about 4-6 weeks after the show. But when it returns for the first time, my body seems to give me the big "Fuck You!" I mean, I feel downright sick....crazy fatigue, major bloating/water retention, cramps, upset stomach. I even feel a little dizzy. I am positive that it's PMS because it's my regular symptoms aplified times 10. I also tend to get these bizarre, vivid dreams right before...I know, weird. So, as horrible as I feel, I know it's my body's way of letting me know that it's getting back to normal, which is ultimately a good thing. It just is a reminder of how much it sucks to be a female sometimes:rolleyes:

[The Prodigy]

Well, I finally have my offseason plan in hand and am ready to go! Food shopping tomorrow night and then it's time to roll on Saturday. Let the road to the 2011 USA's begin!!! Having the diet is finally bringing some focus into the offseason. It was good to have a week or so to just sort not follow a plan, but damn it, I was getting antsy for one. So now that it's here, I can finally wrap my head around "The Offseason."

I will say, my first reaction to the plan was, "holy mother of god, that's a lot of food!" And let me just tell you, if *I* think it's a lot of food, then it's definitely a lot of food. Because me and my inner fat kid can really pack away the calories. I haven't calculated how many it is, but at a glance, I'm thinking it has to be close to, if not at, 3,000. That's scary to me. I know my offseason is significantly shorter this year than it has been in the past, but I seem to have this unusually strong fear this year of getting too "festively plump." I guess I just need to lean on the fact that Sean and I have a solid base to work from with my previous offseason plans and from this year's prep and have a lot of useful information to apply here. That's one of the best things about us working together, the fact that I can express these concerns to him and know that he'll listen, take them into consideration, and always explain to me his reasoning for what he has planned. And if he feels my concerns are legit, he's more than happy to make changes to ease my mind if he feels it won't detract from the ultimate end goal.

Now, for any guys reading this, here's your warning...this next part could be TMI, but that's the price you pay for hanging out in the women's section, particularly in a woman's journal who has little/no brain-to-mouth filter (or in this case, brain-to-fingers):p I imagine I'm not the only female competitor who loses her period for the majority of prep, so I'm sure some of you women can relate. I usually lose it the first month of prep, and it won't return until about 4-6 weeks after the show. But when it returns for the first time, my body seems to give me the big "Fuck You!" I mean, I feel downright sick....crazy fatigue, major bloating/water retention, cramps, upset stomach. I even feel a little dizzy. I am positive that it's PMS because it's my regular symptoms aplified times 10. I also tend to get these bizarre, vivid dreams right before...I know, weird. So, as horrible as I feel, I know it's my body's way of letting me know that it's getting back to normal, which is ultimately a good thing. It just is a reminder of how much it sucks to be a female sometimes:rolleyes:

Thanks for posting the TMI part! I am going thru this right now! Glad to see I am NOT the only one! UGH!!!

[Melissa]

Thanks for posting the TMI part! I am going thru this right now! Glad to see I am NOT the only one! UGH!!!

Haha, yeah, it sucks big time. I've found, though, that once I get past the 4-6 week post contest mark, my body starts to go back to normal. Since I'm approaching that time frame now, I'm anxiously awaiting some balance.

I had an interesting revelation this weekend, and I kinda wonder if anyone has ever experienced anything similar. This weekend, I went out to dinner on Saturday night with a group of non-bodybuilding friends, and while I do get my once-a-week cheat meal, I didn't have any interest in eating it with them. So, I just ordered a grilled chicken salad and that was that (oh, and btw, I still had a great time with them without focusing on what I "couldn't" eat).

Yet on Sunday, I went down to the Bronx and hung out with Kat, JB, and Juan, and we ate like it was going out of style. I have found that, for me, it's more enjoyable to indulge in a cheat meal with other bodybuilders. I'm guessing that it has something to do with the fact that we spend most of the week eating clean (except Juan:p) and appreciate the indulgence more than people who don't pay as much attention to what they're eating, i.e. my non-bb friends. A perfect example...my friend and his wife, ordered a huge brownie sundae on Saturday night and casually ate it like it was no big deal (meanwhile, I was practically drooling all over myself just watching them eat it). But then on Sunday, we went to a pizzeria and as soon as the waitress brought the bread out, the four of us jumped all over that shit like we hadn't eaten in years. Limbs were almost lost as we scrambled for the last piece of fresh-baked Italian bread. And when the pizza came, forget it, there was almost no talking at the table because we couldn't shove the food down fast enough.

Maybe I'm overgeneralizing here, but I'm convinced that the obsession that bodybuilders (or figure, fitness, bikini girls, whatever) have with food carries over into the way and the people with whom we enjoy indulging in "non clean" food.

So, philosophizing aside, I have to say that I'm transitioning relatively well into offseason mode. While I still struggle with losing my contest conditioning, I definitely enjoy the way I feel in the gym and the resurgence in strength and energy. My weight this Saturday was 134.8, but then on Sunday it was 133.2...so I seem to be fluctuating around the mid 130's. This is actually a weight range that I don't mind on myself. My chimpunk cheeks are making a comeback, but not so much that they're taking over my whole face (not yet, anyway)...and my clothes fit just well enough that my booty is starting to fill out my pants without stressing the seams. I will say, though, the annoying "wow, you're getting big again"-type comments are back, and I'm like, really people? Really? Must you continue to be so tactless to comment on my weight? I realize that there's no offseason for fantasy football (since you're all fat all the time), but please keep the weight comments to yourself, thankyouverymuch.

[shankuan]

Haha, yeah, it sucks big time. I've found, though, that once I get past the 4-6 week post contest mark, my body starts to go back to normal. Since I'm approaching that time frame now, I'm anxiously awaiting some balance.

I had an interesting revelation this weekend, and I kinda wonder if anyone has ever experienced anything similar. This weekend, I went out to dinner on Saturday night with a group of non-bodybuilding friends, and while I do get my once-a-week cheat meal, I didn't have any interest in eating it with them. So, I just ordered a grilled chicken salad and that was that (oh, and btw, I still had a great time with them without focusing on what I "couldn't" eat).

Yet on Sunday, I went down to the Bronx and hung out with Kat, JB, and Juan, and we ate like it was going out of style. I have found that, for me, it's more enjoyable to indulge in a cheat meal with other bodybuilders. I'm guessing that it has something to do with the fact that we spend most of the week eating clean (except Juan:p) and appreciate the indulgence more than people who don't pay as much attention to what they're eating, i.e. my non-bb friends. A perfect example...my friend and his wife, ordered a huge brownie sundae on Saturday night and casually ate it like it was no big deal (meanwhile, I was practically drooling all over myself just watching them eat it). But then on Sunday, we went to a pizzeria and as soon as the waitress brought the bread out, the four of us jumped all over that shit like we hadn't eaten in years. Limbs were almost lost as we scrambled for the last piece of fresh-baked Italian bread. And when the pizza came, forget it, there was almost no talking at the table because we couldn't shove the food down fast enough.

Maybe I'm overgeneralizing here, but I'm convinced that the obsession that bodybuilders (or figure, fitness, bikini girls, whatever) have with food carries over into the way and the people with whom we enjoy indulging in "non clean" food.

So, philosophizing aside, I have to say that I'm transitioning relatively well into offseason mode. While I still struggle with losing my contest conditioning, I definitely enjoy the way I feel in the gym and the resurgence in strength and energy. My weight this Saturday was 134.8, but then on Sunday it was 133.2...so I seem to be fluctuating around the mid 130's. This is actually a weight range that I don't mind on myself. My chimpunk cheeks are making a comeback, but not so much that they're taking over my whole face (not yet, anyway)...and my clothes fit just well enough that my booty is starting to fill out my pants without stressing the seams. I will say, though, the annoying "wow, you're getting big again"-type comments are back, and I'm like, really people? Really? Must you continue to be so tactless to comment on my weight? I realize that there's no offseason for fantasy football (since you're all fat all the time), but please keep the weight comments to yourself, thankyouverymuch.


THIS is funny because the only person i do that with is my boyfriend when he and I decide to splurge and have something decadent! When around the non-bb friends we have the tendency to stick to the norm of eating clean even though they order the biggest crap on the menu and eat like its the norm (which it really is for them).

As for the 'you getting big again' comments...at least they don't tell you "you look better this way"! BUT ironically they STILL dream of getting the 'bod' like yours but don't have the 'discipline' as they will say to you often enough! *sigh* They will never understand it hun, and rather than trying to make them, you just mosey on about your business...this is where IPODS become THE BEST invention - Plug and play and block out the noise that is the comments from the fat ass penny section. :p

Its the offseason baby and you are at liberty to say "who the FUCK asked you anything"!!! At least that's my reasoning :yep:...works like a charm since i'm already known as the resident BIATCH!! I mean seriously?!! Why do ppl think they are warranted to say ANYTHING to you especially when they don't even KNOW you??? And common sense (which may really not be so common) says that you DONT tell somebody you don't know they getting big again?!! seriously??!!

[tammyp]

im with ya..dinner w reg eaters isnt nearly as much fun. your lucky you have so many like people close to you that you can enjoy it with.

your weight seems good...i seem to be sitting in the 143-145 range, and yeah..the cheeks are back..:(

[stephaniewicked]

:fit:

I just wrote you a longggg ass reply catching up on everything I missed in the last week and a half and my browser disfunctioned someplace between me finishing and clicking "submit reply". :mad:

I'm too upset to write it all again, so I'll just say that it was a whole lot of nice crap. I'll try again later when I've had a chance to cool off. :(

Congrats on your decision to do the USAs, by the way! Your posts are glowing... and now you've got all that food to feed those muscles, I'll bet you've got a solid few months of growing ahead... woohoo!!!!

[Melissa]

THIS is funny because the only person i do that with is my boyfriend when he and I decide to splurge and have something decadent! When around the non-bb friends we have the tendency to stick to the norm of eating clean even though they order the biggest crap on the menu and eat like its the norm (which it really is for them). Sometimes I wonder if this also has to do with upholding some type of image as someone who always eats right, makes good food choices, etc. Or maybe I'm just overthinking like I usually do:dunno:

As for the 'you getting big again' comments...at least they don't tell you "you look better this way"! BUT ironically they STILL dream of getting the 'bod' like yours but don't have the 'discipline' as they will say to you often enough! *sigh* They will never understand it hun, and rather than trying to make them, you just mosey on about your business...this is where IPODS become THE BEST invention - Plug and play and block out the noise that is the comments from the fat ass penny section. :p

Its the offseason baby and you are at liberty to say "who the FUCK asked you anything"!!! At least that's my reasoning :yep:...works like a charm since i'm already known as the resident BIATCH!! I mean seriously?!! Why do ppl think they are warranted to say ANYTHING to you especially when they don't even KNOW you??? And common sense (which may really not be so common) says that you DONT tell somebody you don't know they getting big again?!! seriously??!!My issue is that a lot of the comments come from either coworkers or people from the gym who know what I do and know at least a little bit about the sport. I have been at my job for over 5 years, and I've been competing the entire time, so this is nothing new to them. They're just tactless. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it still never ceases to amaze me.



im with ya..dinner w reg eaters isnt nearly as much fun. your lucky you have so many like people close to you that you can enjoy it with.

your weight seems good...i seem to be sitting in the 143-145 range, and yeah..the cheeks are back..:(

They're actually not that close...it's almost and hour and a half drive down there:( But it's fun, nevertheless.

I know my weight won't stay here for long. I'll be into te 140's soon enough...blech. I guess as long as it looks better than it did last year, I'll be ok with that. And yeah, I HATE the chipmunk cheeks (at least on me lol).


:fit:

I just wrote you a longggg ass reply catching up on everything I missed in the last week and a half and my browser disfunctioned someplace between me finishing and clicking "submit reply". :mad:

I'm too upset to write it all again, so I'll just say that it was a whole lot of nice crap. I'll try again later when I've had a chance to cool off. :(

Congrats on your decision to do the USAs, by the way! Your posts are glowing... and now you've got all that food to feed those muscles, I'll bet you've got a solid few months of growing ahead... woohoo!!!!

Awww, if it makes you feel any better, I had started that post from my phone while doing cardio this morning, and about 3/4 of the way through, my effing phone froze and then shut off, and I lost the whole thing. So I totally feel you on that one lol. But thank you, you always have such sweet comments. Things have just continued to go really well, and I guess that just comes across in my posts. I mean, I sure as hell have no problem coming in here and unleashing when I'm having a shitty day, and they'll come for sure. That's just how I am...moody and with minimal filtering ability. But I do try to put some sort of positive spin on it because I have always had a tendency to be Captain Negative, and I'm really trying hard to change that. Don't get me wrong, I think I'll always be cynical and sarcastic, that's just me. But even I feel things are so much better when I'm not so negative about stuff.

Speaking of food to feed the muscles, I feel like someone took a sledge hammer to my quads after tonight's workout, and I'm freaking starving! BTW, I feel like anyone who legitimately looks forward to leg day isn't training them hard enough lol. For god sake, I get Leg Day Anxiety as soon as my alarm goes off Monday mornings, and by the end of my work day, it's so built up so much that I'm almost afraid to go to the gym. Now, the feeling I get after a leg workout, THAT'S the part I look forward to.

[Melissa]

Let's talk food shopping for a hot minute here. There is no denying that offseason food shopping is so much more enjoyable than contest diet food shopping. Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm not going in and buying Oreos, chips, and ice cream or anything, but it sure is nice to be able to have the option to be a little more free with what I toss into my cart. For whatever weirdo reason, I have a thing (and I mean, a BIG thing) for protein bars. I like that if I want to grab a bar or two I can. It's like a special little treat to me. Or if I have a little craving for cashews, I'll get a small bag of them **NOTE: It must be a small bag because raw, unsalted cashews are my complete and total downfall. There is no having just one or two, unless you're talking one or two pounds' worth. I have been known to make myself sick eating cashews and then continued to eat them because they just taste so damn good! In fact, I even got an obscene amount of cashews as a Christmas present one year--that was no bueno.

Anyway, I digress (as is so common when I start talking about food). My point is, I absolutely hate food shopping when I'm dieting. There have been times when I've spent probably close to an hour wandering around the grocery store only to walk out with $70 in razors, gum, and Clear Splash...wtf?:p I know a lot of people are into the whole "food porn" thing when they're dieting. Not me, you crazy mf'ers! During that time, the grocery store is almost as bad as the Food Network, and maybe even worse because it's live, right there in my face. On the other hand, I almost look forward to food shopping during the offseason. And it cracks me up when I get to the checkout line, and I can tell that the cashier wants to ask if I'm really going to eat ALL that chicken, and ALL that ground beef, and ALL those eggs. Sometimes they do come right out and ask, and it's always fun to see their faces when I tell them that it sure is all for me and that it's only a week's worth of food. The sad thing is that some days the planned food still isn't enough, and I'm still hungry....if only those cashiers knew that I sometimes will eat MORE than just what I'm buying at that moment.

[The Prodigy]

Stopping by.....Had to laugh at your grocery store post! Hope all is well with you! I will be in NY next month......Maybe we can grab a workout???

[Big Sky Guy]

Mel- you are like my twin sister.

I match your Capt Negative with Mr Realist! Takes effort to filter those thoughts and present them when, where, and in an appropriate manner to be sure people keep an open mind. I have been known to accidentally take the wind right out of the sails of a potentially good idea. But when I hear a good one I have no problem supporting it!

I get a kick out of shopping as we have a full-sized freezer in the garage so we buy chick and fish in bulk when its on sale. Cans and cans of oats, 3-4 dozen eggs per week. We've thought about getting a couple laying hens just to keep the egg costs down! We hunt, so that is always entertaining to see the look on people's face when we talk about harvesting a couple deer and share at least 1/2 and elk per year (120-150 lbs total) of venison a year.

I do have a polar opposite though. You, along with many of the ladies, tend to get a bit frustrated when people comment on getting bigger. I get excited when people tell me I am getting bigger! Even if I know that means a bit of fluff.

Sounds like you are on a good track. Happy off-season!

[Melissa]

Mel- you are like my twin sister.

I match your Capt Negative with Mr Realist! Takes effort to filter those thoughts and present them when, where, and in an appropriate manner to be sure people keep an open mind. I have been known to accidentally take the wind right out of the sails of a potentially good idea. But when I hear a good one I have no problem supporting it!

I get a kick out of shopping as we have a full-sized freezer in the garage so we buy chick and fish in bulk when its on sale. Cans and cans of oats, 3-4 dozen eggs per week. We've thought about getting a couple laying hens just to keep the egg costs down! We hunt, so that is always entertaining to see the look on people's face when we talk about harvesting a couple deer and share at least 1/2 and elk per year (120-150 lbs total) of venison a year.

I do have a polar opposite though. You, along with many of the ladies, tend to get a bit frustrated when people comment on getting bigger. I get excited when people tell me I am getting bigger! Even if I know that means a bit of fluff.

Sounds like you are on a good track. Happy off-season!

Haha, so true! And thank you:)


Overall this week was another good week in the gym, and I'm continuing to get back into the swing of things. It's hard to believe that I'm now one month post-Nationals...the time seems to have flown by. This morning I woke up to find myself at 136.2, which is up about a pound and a half from last week. I'd like to say that the weight gain is finally slowing down, but I'm not really believing that. I really wish I could just settle right around 134 or 135, but the problem is I'm hungry all the time, and I'm not depriving myself when I get hungry. I'm not eating shit food or binging, but I often find myself eating more than my plan for the day. I'm not sure if this is proper justification, but I simply cannot wrap my head around being so hungry in the offseason. Is that why I get a little fluffier than I like? Probably. So, if there's a major issue I have with food, this is it. I feel very lucky that I don't struggle with binging and whatnot (and never have), like so many others I have heard about. But I definitely do have my own issues surrounding my food....overly controlling yet unable to let myself feel hungry (in the offseason, that is). If that's not a fucked up contradiction, I don't know what is. Guess I can add that to my list of things to work on through my ventures in this sport.

So I decided to shake up my usual Saturday morning routine a little bit. And instead of going to the gym at my usual time, my old college crew team was having their annual alumni race event, so I figured I'd stop by there and catch up with some old rowing friends. Also, my training partner is the men's varsity coach and was racing in a head race earlier in the morning in his single, so I wanted to try to catch his race too, since he's made it to so many of my shows. It's funny because I forgot how much I loved rowing in college. As cold as it was this morning, and as much of a gym wuss that I've become, I loved being back out there. I most definitely did NOT set foot back in a boat, as I would have needed an AED for sure if I tried to race. But when I walked back into that boathouse for the first time in over 7 years, I was instantly brought back in time. Hearing the loud banging rock music, the all-to-familiar sound of the ergs, and seeing the same pictures of old boats who dominated in their day--I happened to be in one of those pictures, too;) It was a greatfeeling. And despite the major renovations that have been done since I left, it felt like almost nothing had changed.

After the race, I headed up to the gym to train back, and found that I think I really like training a little later in the morning. It was much quieter at the gym, and Clarkey and I pretty much had control of the place, which is always great on back day. I had a great workout, and am feeling confident that this offseason will be when back training finally clicks for me and the width and thickness that I need back there will start to come. Tomorrow night is cheat meal night, and I'm looking forward to some sushi and going back to my favorite place, Coldstone, since I haven't been there since about midway through my contest prep.

[Suzanne]

Haha, so true! And thank you:)


Overall this week was another good week in the gym, and I'm continuing to get back into the swing of things. It's hard to believe that I'm now one month post-Nationals...the time seems to have flown by. This morning I woke up to find myself at 136.2, which is up about a pound and a half from last week. I'd like to say that the weight gain is finally slowing down, but I'm not really believing that. I really wish I could just settle right around 134 or 135, but the problem is I'm hungry all the time, and I'm not depriving myself when I get hungry. I'm not eating shit food or binging, but I often find myself eating more than my plan for the day. I'm not sure if this is proper justification, but I simply cannot wrap my head around being so hungry in the offseason. Is that why I get a little fluffier than I like? Probably. So, if there's a major issue I have with food, this is it. I feel very lucky that I don't struggle with binging and whatnot (and never have), like so many others I have heard about. But I definitely do have my own issues surrounding my food....overly controlling yet unable to let myself feel hungry (in the offseason, that is). If that's not a fucked up contradiction, I don't know what is. Guess I can add that to my list of things to work on through my ventures in this sport.

So I decided to shake up my usual Saturday morning routine a little bit. And instead of going to the gym at my usual time, my old college crew team was having their annual alumni race event, so I figured I'd stop by there and catch up with some old rowing friends. Also, my training partner is the men's varsity coach and was racing in a head race earlier in the morning in his single, so I wanted to try to catch his race too, since he's made it to so many of my shows. It's funny because I forgot how much I loved rowing in college. As cold as it was this morning, and as much of a gym wuss that I've become, I loved being back out there. I most definitely did NOT set foot back in a boat, as I would have needed an AED for sure if I tried to race. But when I walked back into that boathouse for the first time in over 7 years, I was instantly brought back in time. Hearing the loud banging rock music, the all-to-familiar sound of the ergs, and seeing the same pictures of old boats who dominated in their day--I happened to be in one of those pictures, too;) It was a greatfeeling. And despite the major renovations that have been done since I left, it felt like almost nothing had changed.

After the race, I headed up to the gym to train back, and found that I think I really like training a little later in the morning. It was much quieter at the gym, and Clarkey and I pretty much had control of the place, which is always great on back day. I had a great workout, and am feeling confident that this offseason will be when back training finally clicks for me and the width and thickness that I need back there will start to come. Tomorrow night is cheat meal night, and I'm looking forward to some sushi and going back to my favorite place, Coldstone, since I haven't been there since about midway through my contest prep.

I went to Coldstone last night :yep:

[Melissa]

I went to Coldstone last night :yep:

Ohhh, that shit was so good Sunday...I forgot how much I love Coldstone!



Lately I've been feeling a little, well, in a funk I guess is the best way to put it. I feel like something is missing, and I have no idea what. I'm not sure if it's something in my personal life, something at work, or something with my training. I think part of it is a delayed post-contest blues kinda thing. Like, I reached, and even surpassed all of my goals for this year, and I'm almost lost trying to set new ones for next year. Sure, I know what show I'm doing, and I know that I would like to be 125, blah blah blah, all the stuff I've mentioned in previous posts. But I guess, I wonder what's going to happen after next year? With all the WPD stuff and whatnot, I'm still feeling like I don't fully belong in one category now....very much the same way I felt at the end of my figure days. I guess I feel like I just made this switch to bb and really felt that I found the right place for me and that I could really grow into this division (no pun intended). But now there's a whole other category that I could potentially fit into. All these women's divisions are making for an overwhelming feeling of "where the fuck do I belong?" At least I can say for sure that I don't belong in bikini:p

My issue with whether I belong in bb is this....I only want to get so big. Hell, let's just assume (a big assumption here) that I one day turn pro as a MW bodybuilder. Then where do I go? While I absolutely respect the look of the more successful pro women and the hard work they put in to get that look, it is honestly not a look I aspire to achieve. It's hard enough now finding a suit to fit to wear to court. And when I have to wear a strapless bridesmaid dress in my friend's wedding next May, I pray that the groomsman that walks with me isn't smaller than me. And I'm not even that big!!!! While I do like the look of some of the bigger girls on stage, I just know I wouldn't be ok with that in my everyday life in the real world where I'm the freak. As many have said before, you have to live with your body the other 364 days of the year that you're not on stage.

So maybe it's that I'm feeling a little lost within the sport right now that's giving me this "something's missing feeling." It's also a little sad that after the season's over, I don't get to see a lot of my bb friends as often because the shows are over and everyone kinda goes back to their everyday lives for a while before the shows start up again. Guess it just makes me look forward to the Arnold that much more.

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

Ohhh, that shit was so good Sunday...I forgot how much I love Coldstone!



Lately I've been feeling a little, well, in a funk I guess is the best way to put it. I feel like something is missing, and I have no idea what. I'm not sure if it's something in my personal life, something at work, or something with my training. I think part of it is a delayed post-contest blues kinda thing. Like, I reached, and even surpassed all of my goals for this year, and I'm almost lost trying to set new ones for next year. Sure, I know what show I'm doing, and I know that I would like to be 125, blah blah blah, all the stuff I've mentioned in previous posts. But I guess, I wonder what's going to happen after next year? With all the WPD stuff and whatnot, I'm still feeling like I don't fully belong in one category now....very much the same way I felt at the end of my figure days. I guess I feel like I just made this switch to bb and really felt that I found the right place for me and that I could really grow into this division (no pun intended). But now there's a whole other category that I could potentially fit into. All these women's divisions are making for an overwhelming feeling of "where the fuck do I belong?" At least I can say for sure that I don't belong in bikini:p

My issue with whether I belong in bb is this....I only want to get so big. Hell, let's just assume (a big assumption here) that I one day turn pro as a MW bodybuilder. Then where do I go? While I absolutely respect the look of the more successful pro women and the hard work they put in to get that look, it is honestly not a look I aspire to achieve. It's hard enough now finding a suit to fit to wear to court. And when I have to wear a strapless bridesmaid dress in my friend's wedding next May, I pray that the groomsman that walks with me isn't smaller than me. And I'm not even that big!!!! While I do like the look of some of the bigger girls on stage, I just know I wouldn't be ok with that in my everyday life in the real world where I'm the freak. As many have said before, you have to live with your body the other 364 days of the year that you're not on stage.

So maybe it's that I'm feeling a little lost within the sport right now that's giving me this "something's missing feeling." It's also a little sad that after the season's over, I don't get to see a lot of my bb friends as often because the shows are over and everyone kinda goes back to their everyday lives for a while before the shows start up again. Guess it just makes me look forward to the Arnold that much more.

I hear you!

:peace2:
Elisa

[Suzanne]

Ohhh, that shit was so good Sunday...I forgot how much I love Coldstone!



Lately I've been feeling a little, well, in a funk I guess is the best way to put it. I feel like something is missing, and I have no idea what. I'm not sure if it's something in my personal life, something at work, or something with my training. I think part of it is a delayed post-contest blues kinda thing. Like, I reached, and even surpassed all of my goals for this year, and I'm almost lost trying to set new ones for next year. Sure, I know what show I'm doing, and I know that I would like to be 125, blah blah blah, all the stuff I've mentioned in previous posts. But I guess, I wonder what's going to happen after next year? With all the WPD stuff and whatnot, I'm still feeling like I don't fully belong in one category now....very much the same way I felt at the end of my figure days. I guess I feel like I just made this switch to bb and really felt that I found the right place for me and that I could really grow into this division (no pun intended). But now there's a whole other category that I could potentially fit into. All these women's divisions are making for an overwhelming feeling of "where the fuck do I belong?" At least I can say for sure that I don't belong in bikini:p

My issue with whether I belong in bb is this....I only want to get so big. Hell, let's just assume (a big assumption here) that I one day turn pro as a MW bodybuilder. Then where do I go? While I absolutely respect the look of the more successful pro women and the hard work they put in to get that look, it is honestly not a look I aspire to achieve. It's hard enough now finding a suit to fit to wear to court. And when I have to wear a strapless bridesmaid dress in my friend's wedding next May, I pray that the groomsman that walks with me isn't smaller than me. And I'm not even that big!!!! While I do like the look of some of the bigger girls on stage, I just know I wouldn't be ok with that in my everyday life in the real world where I'm the freak. As many have said before, you have to live with your body the other 364 days of the year that you're not on stage.

So maybe it's that I'm feeling a little lost within the sport right now that's giving me this "something's missing feeling." It's also a little sad that after the season's over, I don't get to see a lot of my bb friends as often because the shows are over and everyone kinda goes back to their everyday lives for a while before the shows start up again. Guess it just makes me look forward to the Arnold that much more.

If you like how you look as a MW BBer and get a pro card then go onstage that way. No one with out perfect insane genetics will be the Ms O so no matter how big everyone else gets they still will not win. same with all the other categories only one will win.

I guess i view it all different. I would compete as a pro to beat myself and because i love it - BBing. I am not all about winning the show. So i would be the size i am comfortable with and just enjoy competing. It isn't like winning is this huge sum of money or anything. I love being SHREDDED, striated glutes, bbing posing not soft open hand which doesn't show bis as well and I worked damn hard for a back so wanna do lat poses :yep:

As the stress of will i place first at my size can i win etc goes away as soon as you compete for the pure love of it

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

If you like how you look as a MW BBer and get a pro card then go onstage that way. No one with out perfect insane genetics will be the Ms O so no matter how big everyone else gets they still will not win. same with all the other categories only one will win.

I guess i view it all different. I would compete as a pro to beat myself and because i love it - BBing. I am not all about winning the show. So i would be the size i am comfortable with and just enjoy competing. It isn't like winning is this huge sum of money or anything. I love being SHREDDED, striated glutes, bbing posing not soft open hand which doesn't show bis as well and I worked damn hard for a back so wanna do lat poses :yep:

As the stress of will i place first at my size can i win etc goes away as soon as you compete for the pure love of it

Very well put Suzanne! I agree with everything you said 100%.


:peace2:
Elisa

[sweetjane57]

Ohhh, that shit was so good Sunday...I forgot how much I love Coldstone!



Lately I've been feeling a little, well, in a funk I guess is the best way to put it. I feel like something is missing, and I have no idea what. I'm not sure if it's something in my personal life, something at work, or something with my training. I think part of it is a delayed post-contest blues kinda thing. Like, I reached, and even surpassed all of my goals for this year, and I'm almost lost trying to set new ones for next year. Sure, I know what show I'm doing, and I know that I would like to be 125, blah blah blah, all the stuff I've mentioned in previous posts. But I guess, I wonder what's going to happen after next year? With all the WPD stuff and whatnot, I'm still feeling like I don't fully belong in one category now....very much the same way I felt at the end of my figure days. I guess I feel like I just made this switch to bb and really felt that I found the right place for me and that I could really grow into this division (no pun intended). But now there's a whole other category that I could potentially fit into. All these women's divisions are making for an overwhelming feeling of "where the fuck do I belong?" At least I can say for sure that I don't belong in bikini:p

My issue with whether I belong in bb is this....I only want to get so big. Hell, let's just assume (a big assumption here) that I one day turn pro as a MW bodybuilder. Then where do I go? While I absolutely respect the look of the more successful pro women and the hard work they put in to get that look, it is honestly not a look I aspire to achieve. It's hard enough now finding a suit to fit to wear to court. And when I have to wear a strapless bridesmaid dress in my friend's wedding next May, I pray that the groomsman that walks with me isn't smaller than me. And I'm not even that big!!!! While I do like the look of some of the bigger girls on stage, I just know I wouldn't be ok with that in my everyday life in the real world where I'm the freak. As many have said before, you have to live with your body the other 364 days of the year that you're not on stage.

So maybe it's that I'm feeling a little lost within the sport right now that's giving me this "something's missing feeling." It's also a little sad that after the season's over, I don't get to see a lot of my bb friends as often because the shows are over and everyone kinda goes back to their everyday lives for a while before the shows start up again. Guess it just makes me look forward to the Arnold that much more.

your open honesty is awesome #1!
#2 how many words do you type a min? just curious b/c I SWEAR like 80% of the shit you say, I "hear ya" "feel ya" "empathise with ya" ON! SERIOUSLY. and IF I had the TIME(not saying you have all the time in the world either as we are both County emplyees! cheers) to type all my thoughts before they got lost in my whirl wind of a mind, we would sound so much alike! lol
#3 hope I didn't lose ya in that mess.
that is all.
p.s. MY ADVICE(take it or leave it) Just keep training from the HEART...find YOUR BALANCE in life and see what happens...in the end, it's God who will lead you the way He wants!;)

[Melissa]

I hear you!

:peace2:
Elisa

:)


If you like how you look as a MW BBer and get a pro card then go onstage that way. No one with out perfect insane genetics will be the Ms O so no matter how big everyone else gets they still will not win. same with all the other categories only one will win.

I guess i view it all different. I would compete as a pro to beat myself and because i love it - BBing. I am not all about winning the show. So i would be the size i am comfortable with and just enjoy competing. It isn't like winning is this huge sum of money or anything. I love being SHREDDED, striated glutes, bbing posing not soft open hand which doesn't show bis as well and I worked damn hard for a back so wanna do lat poses :yep:

As the stress of will i place first at my size can i win etc goes away as soon as you compete for the pure love of it

Suz, you're absolutely right and you make some really good points (especially about the open-hand posing...I don't think I'm a huge fan of that). And I'm probably about 80% right there with you on that way of thinking. The other 20% is part of my own crazy need to have everything compartmentalized and all fit nicely into one group or another....for example, in my mind, the look of WP overlaps with the looks of LW and MW bodybuilders.

I'm sure that once I have more time under my belt competing, I'll naturally fall into the way of thinking of bringing whatever look I want to the stage and not worrying about being too small, etc. I just haven't quite gotten there yet.


your open honesty is awesome #1!
#2 how many words do you type a min? just curious b/c I SWEAR like 80% of the shit you say, I "hear ya" "feel ya" "empathise with ya" ON! SERIOUSLY. and IF I had the TIME(not saying you have all the time in the world either as we are both County emplyees! cheers) to type all my thoughts before they got lost in my whirl wind of a mind, we would sound so much alike! lol
#3 hope I didn't lose ya in that mess.
that is all.
p.s. MY ADVICE(take it or leave it) Just keep training from the HEART...find YOUR BALANCE in life and see what happens...in the end, it's God who will lead you the way He wants!;)

Haha, thanks Nat! To be honest, I type pretty fast. I took a keyboarding class in middle school or high school and just picked it up, and now it's like this weird freaky talent that I have where I can type really fast lol:dunno:
I'm glad to hear that you're able to relate. That's one of the main reasons why I keep this journal. I feel like there are so many thoughts, feelings, actions that we all experience/do and wonder if we're the only ones going through that or if we're weird because we think/feel/do a certain thing. As far as the time, I actually force myself to make the time to at least get some of my thoughts out here (believe me, there's so much more swirling around in my head too lol). It's usually at the end of my day right before I go to bed, so it actually helps because there's less crap roaming around in my little pea brain before I try to fall asleep. Then, again, there's the fact that I can type as fast as the thoughts come, so it makes it more efficient, I guess:p But I'm right there with ya, girl! And, oh yeah, I'm lurking in your PL journal....I love it!

[GirlyMuscle]

I like this idea of the new division but I don't think I could fit in. Hell, I'm not nearly lean enough and my shoulders are totally striated and veiny. By the time I get that fat off my ass, I'll be even more veiny and striated.

I think you're a middleweight bber at heart. Build the body YOU love. I think you'd be fine staying in bbing.

[Melissa]

I like this idea of the new division but I don't think I could fit in. Hell, I'm not nearly lean enough and my shoulders are totally striated and veiny. By the time I get that fat off my ass, I'll be even more veiny and striated.

I think you're a middleweight bber at heart. Build the body YOU love. I think you'd be fine staying in bbing.

Erin, you're absolutely right. I am 100% a MW bodybuilder at heart. And I'm definitely working on building the body I love. I guess what's eating at me, is that I could potentially reach my goal look sooner than I had anticipated, so I wonder where I go from there, if that makes any sense. I swear, I wish I could just shut my brain off and not think so much! No wonder I'm tired all the time.

[GirlyMuscle]

I hear ya. My brain shut down yesterday and it's been so nice having the quiet in my head. I'm not questioning anything...just going with the flow. I need to do this through an entire prep not just the last week. lol

What happens if you reach your goal body sooner? You keep competing until you get your procard sista! And after you get that you keep competing as a pro. That's how you save women's bodybuilding. By being one. ;)

[Melissa]

I hear ya. My brain shut down yesterday and it's been so nice having the quiet in my head. I'm not questioning anything...just going with the flow. I need to do this through an entire prep not just the last week. lol

What happens if you reach your goal body sooner? You keep competing until you get your procard sista! And after you get that you keep competing as a pro. That's how you save women's bodybuilding. By being one. ;)

Your brain may be shut down from in this last week of prep, but you sure are making some serious sense here. Thank you!

How the heck are you feeling, anyway? Are you excited? You happy with how you look? I can't wait to see pics from the show!

[GirlyMuscle]

I'm doing ok. I'll probably blog about it in a few minutes. :)

[Melissa]

Another week down in the offseason, and I gotta be honest here. Some days I really just hate this shit. I hate looking at myself in the mirror during the offseason. I hate seeing the scale go up every week (was 138.2 this week). I hate my super chipmunk cheeks that take over my whole face as soon as I put on even a little bit of weight after a show. And all I can see of myself is just a bigger, fatter version of the same figure girl from three years ago.

Before anyone starts thinking, "Well, why do you keep doing this sport?" or "Then don't eat so much in the offseason," or any of a host of other comments that have already run through my head, there's a major caveat here. Even if I were 5, 6, 7, or even 8 lbs lighter, I'm 99% sure that I would still feel the exact same way (and looking at posts from a couple weeks ago, that's pretty apparent). The bottom line is that it's about disordered eating and distorted body image. And the only way I can think to eventually get over it is to continue facing the issue head on each offseason and continue to chip away at creating a healthier relationship with my goals in this sport. Because the love I have for training, competing, and really the overall concept of the journey of the sport is incredibly overpowering....obviously, or my disordered eating and distorted body image would have ruined me a long time ago.

There are two things that seem to help reassure me when dealing with these issues. First and foremost is my strength in the gym. When I'm eating and have my extra pudge, I am strong as hell in the gym (relatively speaking here). The majority of the time, I just hammer through my workouts. I'm able to grind out extra reps and extra sets, and something about pushing past what I think I'm capable of is a very addicting feeling. Also, when I'm well fed, I'm notorious for adding extra stuff on to the workout simply because I can't get enough. The other thing that helps is pictures from previous shows. They act as a reminder, not just of the fact that I can get in shape, but of what I need to improve and where I need to grow. The reality of my situation is that I am still looking to build muscle, and to do that I need to eat, which in turn, will lead to some fat gain. With each passing offseason, I'm becoming more convinced that, with my body, there's a VERY fine line between maximizing my calories to build muscle and not getting too fat. Unfortunately, I still lean more towards the latter.

As frustrated as I get with these issues, I can't imagine not doing this sport. Like anything else in life, it has its positives and negatives. And just like I've been learning to accept the good and bad in all areas of my life, from people and relationships to my job, this sport is no different. People always ask me how much longer I plan to compete, and my response is always the same....until it's not fun anymore. And for now, it's still fun--food and body issues included.

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

Another week down in the offseason, and I gotta be honest here. Some days I really just hate this shit. I hate looking at myself in the mirror during the offseason. I hate seeing the scale go up every week (was 138.2 this week). I hate my super chipmunk cheeks that take over my whole face as soon as I put on even a little bit of weight after a show. And all I can see of myself is just a bigger, fatter version of the same figure girl from three years ago.

Before anyone starts thinking, "Well, why do you keep doing this sport?" or "Then don't eat so much in the offseason," or any of a host of other comments that have already run through my head, there's a major caveat here. Even if I were 5, 6, 7, or even 8 lbs lighter, I'm 99% sure that I would still feel the exact same way (and looking at posts from a couple weeks ago, that's pretty apparent). The bottom line is that it's about disordered eating and distorted body image. And the only way I can think to eventually get over it is to continue facing the issue head on each offseason and continue to chip away at creating a healthier relationship with my goals in this sport. Because the love I have for training, competing, and really the overall concept of the journey of the sport is incredibly overpowering....obviously, or my disordered eating and distorted body image would have ruined me a long time ago.

There are two things that seem to help reassure me when dealing with these issues. First and foremost is my strength in the gym. When I'm eating and have my extra pudge, I am strong as hell in the gym (relatively speaking here). The majority of the time, I just hammer through my workouts. I'm able to grind out extra reps and extra sets, and something about pushing past what I think I'm capable of is a very addicting feeling. Also, when I'm well fed, I'm notorious for adding extra stuff on to the workout simply because I can't get enough. The other thing that helps is pictures from previous shows. They act as a reminder, not just of the fact that I can get in shape, but of what I need to improve and where I need to grow. The reality of my situation is that I am still looking to build muscle, and to do that I need to eat, which in turn, will lead to some fat gain. With each passing offseason, I'm becoming more convinced that, with my body, there's a VERY fine line between maximizing my calories to build muscle and not getting too fat. Unfortunately, I still lean more towards the latter.

As frustrated as I get with these issues, I can't imagine not doing this sport. Like anything else in life, it has its positives and negatives. And just like I've been learning to accept the good and bad in all areas of my life, from people and relationships to my job, this sport is no different. People always ask me how much longer I plan to compete, and my response is always the same....until it's not fun anymore. And for now, it's still fun--food and body issues included.

Hi Melissa,

I really enjoy reading your journal.
I can relate to it a lot.

I am also eating extra 300-500 calories a day, I like to do my cardio first thing in the morning on empty stomach to burn the extra calories my body didn't use the previous day.

I take 200mg of caffeine and 1-2 g of L-carnitine.
Research confirms that taking caffeine and carnitine together before cardio burns more fat than either supplement alone.

Keep it up!

:peace2:
Elisa

[Melissa]

Hi Melissa,

I really enjoy reading your journal.
I can relate to it a lot.

I am also eating extra 300-500 calories a day, I like to do my cardio first thing in the morning on empty stomach to burn the extra calories my body didn't use the previous day.

I take 200mg of caffeine and 1-2 g of L-carnitine.
Research confirms that taking caffeine and carnitine together before cardio burns more fat than either supplement alone.

Keep it up!

:peace2:
Elisa

Thank you for following along:) I do cardio first thing in the morning, too....45 minutes, 5 days/week. And caffiene is something I'm never short on lol.

[stephaniewicked]

Girl, I love reading your journal. One thing I admire so much is (1) how honest you are about your feelings. Whether you think it's rambling or not (and to me, it's certainly not!!), it's very much therapeutic to follow... I imagine it is just as much so, for you to write about. And (2) you aren't sloppy about your off-season. You seem to be one of the most meticulous people in this sport... even when growing, you're very calculated about everything you put into your mouth... and when you are THAT committed and THAT disciplined, you are nothing but success in my eyes. I have no doubt that you're going to continue to excel within the bodybuilding community, while checking goals off your list and inspiring others with each passing season!

I hope you have a kick ass week in and out of the gym! :lift2:

[Melissa]

Girl, I love reading your journal. One thing I admire so much is (1) how honest you are about your feelings. Whether you think it's rambling or not (and to me, it's certainly not!!), it's very much therapeutic to follow... I imagine it is just as much so, for you to write about. And (2) you aren't sloppy about your off-season. You seem to be one of the most meticulous people in this sport... even when growing, you're very calculated about everything you put into your mouth... and when you are THAT committed and THAT disciplined, you are nothing but success in my eyes. I have no doubt that you're going to continue to excel within the bodybuilding community, while checking goals off your list and inspiring others with each passing season!

I hope you have a kick ass week in and out of the gym! :lift2:

Aww, Steph, thank you so much! Your posts in here ALWAYS make me smile and even get me a little choked up sometimes lol. It's such a great feeling to have that kind of support:hmn: And I hope you have an awesome week too, especially since it's a short one!!

[Sunnyday]

Hey Melissa,

Seph is right. I've been tagging along for a while and it is so great to read your thread, whether in- or out of season. Always honest, sometimes funny, sometimes inspiring...always real. I don't think I could've successfully pulled through my latest carb craving without having read about yours (see my thread). Reading about the real life issues you deal with definitely keeps me going when I hear the negative talk from my mom of all people telling me how much she dislikes the way I look, LOL!

Have a great week!
Sunny

[tammyp]

mel..i couldnt have said it better myself. i feel the exact same way.

[Melissa]

Hey Melissa,

Seph is right. I've been tagging along for a while and it is so great to read your thread, whether in- or out of season. Always honest, sometimes funny, sometimes inspiring...always real. I don't think I could've successfully pulled through my latest carb craving without having read about yours (see my thread). Reading about the real life issues you deal with definitely keeps me going when I hear the negative talk from my mom of all people telling me how much she dislikes the way I look, LOL!

Have a great week!
Sunny

Thank you so much! I'm glad my gybberish helped you from your potential popcorn catastrophe lol. I feel you on the unsupportive parent thing too. My father has made it perfectly clear that he wants nothing to do with my participation in this sport and has told me that he thinks I "build muscles to look like a man." It sucks, but you slowly learn to accept it, and it has certainly made me so much more appreciative of the people that I have in my life that do support me in everything, not just bb.


mel..i couldnt have said it better myself. i feel the exact same way.

Maybe it's that "normal" thing?;):hmn:

[Melissa]

On a more positive note here, how do I know when I've gotten a good quad workout in? Sure, we all train our asses off and have those leg workouts where we're hobbling down the stairs afterwards. But honestly, that's pretty run of the mill. I know I've gone past that when I'm straight up nauseous, can't stomach any food until an hour or so after the workout, have a pounding headache, AND am hobbling down stairs--my nervous system is just shot. Then I know it's good:yep: And that accurately defines tonight's workout.

I think one of the major contributing factors to this was the adjustment I made to my squatting. I always start my workouts with heavy squats, no matter what week I'm on in my periodization cycle (low rep week, mid rep week, or high rep/superset week). When I say heavy, I mean a weight that's heavy for 3-5 reps. Anyway, for the past couple of years, I have fought myself under that squat rack week after week, battling to find a way to squat without causing the intense pain/weakness in my left hamstring....clearly I'm a stubborn Italian, no? I even tried using this reverse hack squat-type machine that my gym has that sort of simulates squatting form, but it's just not the same. So tonight, I put my ego aside (and actually listened to my brain for once) and try squatting on the smith machine. Call me an asshole, but I have always had an aversion the whole idea of using a smith machine for squats. If you want good quad development, you get yo' ass under that squat rack. Well, now I'm eating my words (good thing they are low in calories:p) because I did my heavy squatting tonight on the smith machine and was finally able to feel them properly again, for the most part. Who knows, maybe it just happened to be a good week for me for squatting, or maybe I've found something to allow me to get back into real squatting without too much pain in my ham. Seems that something about not having to stabilize myself takes away some of the pain and weakness from my hamstring.

Amazing that I can talk so much about not just one workout, but one freaking exercise....I got LOTS of stuff swimming around in my old melon.:D

[Sunnyday]

Hey Melissa,

Being German, I am pretty hard headed myself. Still, I try to remind myself that I won't grow in any area of my life if I don't punch a few cracks in my hard skull and let some outside wisdom filter in once in a while. :)

Case in point, check out Zoa Linsey's Q&A thread, particularly posts #127 through #132. I had loads of respect for Zoa even before her injury. Then I read that in her thread and my respect for her went up a few orders of magnitude. You know a real athlete with a real passion for their sport when they find a work-around for one of the gold standard exercises. Great quads, not attributed to squats. All I can say is wow.

[Melissa]

Well, I did it....I braved the mall on Black Friday and came out in one piece (a broke-ass piece, but alive nonetheless). Can't say I got any super great deals, but at least most of my shopping is done. That is, until I realize that I forgot to buy for someone, which inevitably happens every year. And I always seem to forget to get bags, boxes, and wrapping paper until the last minute. Usually, I do most of my Christmas shopping online because I hate to shop. I HATE the mall, and I HATE crowds. But to be honest, I'm really glad I went. Despite the crowds, all the Christmas decorations and the music really got me in the holiday spirit, which isn't an easy task some years because I'm a bit of a scrooge (I know, shocking, right?). There is always one particular song that puts me in the Christmas spirit instantly, and it never feels like Christmas to me until I hear it....Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You." And it came on as soon as I walked into the mall today:D

Of course, you know I had to put in some work before heading out to the mall. This morning I trained back and had a great workout. I'm still working on being able to feel the connection when I train back, and I seem to be improving that with some exercises, particularly any type of row. I've pulled back on my weights, and I think I'm able to get a better squeeze out of the movements. Guess we'll see if this actually equates to more thickness for me. Pull down exercises are still tough for me to feel, but I know that will come eventually. I've also been incorporating dead lifting back into my workouts. With my hamstring injury, they have become more of a mental challenge than anything. I'm straight up scared of the weight sometimes. But this has always been an exercise that I simply love--there's just so much power in the movement--so I'll fight for as long as I can to keep doing them.

Oh, and how could I forget to mention my Thanksgiving feast. Surprisingly, I did fairly well yesterday. While I definitely ate a lot of food, I ate most of my meals as planned (I missed one) and didn't stuff myself over the whole day. To be honest, I would say that at was more a legitimate cheat MEAL than a complete fuck up of a cheat day. I'm kinda proud of that, actually.

Of course, if you saw what I looked like at this point in my offseason, you probably wouldn't believe that I kept it together fairly well yesterday, or any other day for that matter. I swear, I'm pretty convinced that I have a greater genetic disposition toward putting on fat a little easier than most. Don't get me wrong, I take FULL responsibility for the food I put in my mouth and know damn well that I eat a little more than I should sometimes. But the other side of it is that I am meticulous. I don't fuck around. I weigh and measure all my food during the offseason just like I would during prep. I follow my meal plan. Hell, I packed my meals to bring with me to the mall today simply because I don't go anywhere without them, on or offseason. But I still feel that I put on a bit more fat than most people would if they followed the same offseason plan the way I do. And of course I train my ass off and do cardio. Oh well, I don't feel like I could do much differently at this point. Overall, I think I have a decent balance in my offseason, and I guess that's what's really important. Like Tammy has said, fat's fixable:p

[Melissa]

Just wanted to post this in here quick. A couple weeks after Nationals, I met with a local college student who is a photojournalism major and was doing her senior project on women in "hypermasculine" (her word) sports--she also happens to be a rugby player herself. And, well, the project speaks for itself, but I thought it was pretty cool and very well done for someone who's just getting started. Also, having been a female athlete all my life, plus working in a male-dominated field, I thought this was a pretty cool project and was happy to be a part of it.

http://manup.zenfolio.com/

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

Just wanted to post this in here quick. A couple weeks after Nationals, I met with a local college student who is a photojournalism major and was doing her senior project on women in "hypermasculine" (her word) sports--she also happens to be a rugby player herself. And, well, the project speaks for itself, but I thought it was pretty cool and very well done for someone who's just getting started. Also, having been a female athlete all my life, plus working in a male-dominated field, I thought this was a pretty cool project and was happy to be a part of it.

http://manup.zenfolio.com/

:yep:
So cool

[Sunnyday]

x 2!!

[stephaniewicked]

Badass! I was hoping this would be posted somewhere upon completion, so we could see. Very cool project...

[Melissa]

:yep:
So cool


x 2!!


Badass! I was hoping this would be posted somewhere upon completion, so we could see. Very cool project...

Glad you girls liked that:)

Hmmm, so where have I been lately? To be honest, I really just haven't had much to say (yeah, I know, it rarely happens). This is where the offseason can get a little monotonous for me...at least in terms of having anything to write here. My training has actually been going great, and I seem to have had a recent surge in intensity and just overall enjoyment with being in the gym, which has translated into some amazing workouts.

Also, I think that sometimes I just need a mental break from the "show" side of things. After spending months thinking of nothing but the show I'm getting ready for, plus working at various shows, reading all the magazines and scouring the forums during my hours of cardio, I find that I get burnt out on it all and just need some time to reconnect with the non-bodybuilding part of me....spend more time with my family and my friends who don't compete, repair any damage at work caused by my mental absence during prep, and pretty much just regroup. Plus, it's a time for me to remind myself why I started to compete in the first place--because I simply LOVE to train. Unfortunately, that's a fire that always manages to be reduced to a low burn in the final stages of prep. So, I like to use this time to stoke those flames. This way, when I turn things up a bit in the next couple of weeks to start some serious offseason gains, I'll have a fresh wood to keep that fire going.

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

Glad you girls liked that:)

Hmmm, so where have I been lately? To be honest, I really just haven't had much to say (yeah, I know, it rarely happens). This is where the offseason can get a little monotonous for me...at least in terms of having anything to write here. My training has actually been going great, and I seem to have had a recent surge in intensity and just overall enjoyment with being in the gym, which has translated into some amazing workouts.

Also, I think that sometimes I just need a mental break from the "show" side of things. After spending months thinking of nothing but the show I'm getting ready for, plus working at various shows, reading all the magazines and scouring the forums during my hours of cardio, I find that I get burnt out on it all and just need some time to reconnect with the non-bodybuilding part of me....spend more time with my family and my friends who don't compete, repair any damage at work caused by my mental absence during prep, and pretty much just regroup. Plus, it's a time for me to remind myself why I started to compete in the first place--because I simply LOVE to train. Unfortunately, that's a fire that always manages to be reduced to a low burn in the final stages of prep. So, I like to use this time to stoke those flames. This way, when I turn things up a bit in the next couple of weeks to start some serious offseason gains, I'll have a fresh wood to keep that fire going.


Hi Melissa,

Stopping by to wish you all a wonderful week-end. This week-end I won't be doing cardio or lifting. I will relaxing and enjoying my family. friends and my cheat meal ... wink

Bodybuilding is a journey just like life. Don't let it own you, but harness its energy to live life as it should be, with care!

Be genuine and think about others feelings in all things. God first, family second, and bodybuilding third.

:peace2:
Elisa
Facebook: fitelisacharm
♥ ♥ ♥

[Melissa]

Ok, I am here! And I haven't forgotten about my journal. In fact, every time I log in here, I think about it. But I seem to have encountered writer's block or something because I feel like I have nothing to write about lately. Quick update for now, and I'll probably be back on later today for a lazy Sunday afternoon catch-up. My weight has been stable at 140 for the past 3 weeks, so it looks like from here it'll be time to start pushing things a little bit with calories to do some bulking (ugh, I HATE that term!). Anyway, for the most part, my workouts have actually been awesome, except for a few here and there where I really just wasn't feeling 100%. My strength and energy in the gym have also been really good, again, for the most part. Alright, that's it for now....off to the gym for some arms and cardio.

[Melissa]

Sooo, not exactly the lazy Sunday I had planned, but it definitely was productive. Did a little cleaning around the shoebox that I call my apartment, and then turned on some Christmas music and got to wrapping. With the exception of a couple things I'm still waiting for in the mail, everything's all set to go:)

Like I said above, I haven't really had too much to write about lately, so I've been MIA from here. But at the gym this morning, I had an interesting experience. There was this girl there who I had never seen there before. She was probably in her mid-20's, and she was just adorable. Maybe a little too made up, but she was so cute. She was not muscular by any means, but she was "toned," for lack of a better word. And she had on a cute little outfit that was just mismatched enough to look like she didn't put too much effort into looking good but still looked put-together. And for a brief moment, I couldn't help but wish for that look for myself, as I looked in the mirror at my disheviled hair, roughed up gym clothes, and shoulders/arms that were clearly too big for my long-sleeved pull over. Then I realized that I actually *like* my roughed up edges. I *like* my hair that looks like I brushed it with a brick before I go to the gym. And I *like* that you can see the shape of my shoulders and arms through my shirts. Would I like to be described as "cute" and "petite?" Sometimes, yeah. But somehow, that just doesn't go along with me and what I'm about. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's that I'm pretty good at staying true to myself and sticking to my guns. There's no question that I sometimes fall victim to thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Hell, I do that a lot. But as much as this sport as brought me physical gains, it's also helped me make personal ones, too. I'm sure I speak for a lot of women out there who have become more comfortable with themselves through this sport or just training in general. I don't feel like I sought out this sport as a place for me to belong. Rather, I kind of feel like it found me because it fits with who I am.

Ok, enough with the deep shit. I'm off to IHOP for some good cheat mealing;)

[tammyp]

OMG mel....that is so ME. i wish i could unzip my self and go to that look sometimes as well. makes dressing so much easier!

[Suzanne]

I had that look right after I lost weight before i started competing. Nicely "toned" actually enough muscle that many people asked if i competed but i was tiny. Wore small sized clothed got complements all the time. But I am happier with how i look now. I like it much more. Do i find it difficult to dress sure the hell do but i also did back then cuz even though my butt was small fit a 1 or 3 my waist was still big so i still found it hard to really find clothes. But when i look at pictures from then I am much happier with the MW I just have to remember that when i go clothes shopping - cuz even now it comes down to my waist so that is nothing different than when i was tiny

[Sunnyday]

Sooo, not exactly the lazy Sunday I had planned, but it definitely was productive. Did a little cleaning around the shoebox that I call my apartment, and then turned on some Christmas music and got to wrapping. With the exception of a couple things I'm still waiting for in the mail, everything's all set to go:)

Like I said above, I haven't really had too much to write about lately, so I've been MIA from here. But at the gym this morning, I had an interesting experience. There was this girl there who I had never seen there before. She was probably in her mid-20's, and she was just adorable. Maybe a little too made up, but she was so cute. She was not muscular by any means, but she was "toned," for lack of a better word. And she had on a cute little outfit that was just mismatched enough to look like she didn't put too much effort into looking good but still looked put-together. And for a brief moment, I couldn't help but wish for that look for myself, as I looked in the mirror at my disheviled hair, roughed up gym clothes, and shoulders/arms that were clearly too big for my long-sleeved pull over. Then I realized that I actually *like* my roughed up edges. I *like* my hair that looks like I brushed it with a brick before I go to the gym. And I *like* that you can see the shape of my shoulders and arms through my shirts. Would I like to be described as "cute" and "petite?" Sometimes, yeah. But somehow, that just doesn't go along with me and what I'm about. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's that I'm pretty good at staying true to myself and sticking to my guns. There's no question that I sometimes fall victim to thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Hell, I do that a lot. But as much as this sport as brought me physical gains, it's also helped me make personal ones, too. I'm sure I speak for a lot of women out there who have become more comfortable with themselves through this sport or just training in general. I don't feel like I sought out this sport as a place for me to belong. Rather, I kind of feel like it found me because it fits with who I am.

Ok, enough with the deep shit. I'm off to IHOP for some good cheat mealing;)


^^This! :yep:

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

^^This! :yep:

Well put!

:heythere:
Elisa

[Mama Muscle]

Off season journal? Sure, I am interested. :)


me too!! I am coming in late, but interested to follow along :)

[Melissa]

OMG mel....that is so ME. i wish i could unzip my self and go to that look sometimes as well. makes dressing so much easier!

I feel like if they made nice clothes to fit bodybuilders or even a more "athletic" body type, we might not have so many body image issues. Hmmmm, perhaps Express: Athlete has some possibilities....Express style made for the female athlete.


I had that look right after I lost weight before i started competing. Nicely "toned" actually enough muscle that many people asked if i competed but i was tiny. Wore small sized clothed got complements all the time. But I am happier with how i look now. I like it much more. Do i find it difficult to dress sure the hell do but i also did back then cuz even though my butt was small fit a 1 or 3 my waist was still big so i still found it hard to really find clothes. But when i look at pictures from then I am much happier with the MW I just have to remember that when i go clothes shopping - cuz even now it comes down to my waist so that is nothing different than when i was tiny

I never had that look, ever. I can remember being called Thunder Thighs during high school gymnastics because my quads were so much bigger than the other girls'....and sure enough, when I look at pictures from back then, I can see that, even for a 15 year old, I had relatively well-developed and nicely shaped quads. Also, even if I did have that look, that's just not my personality. I'm a tomboy, rough around the edges, truck-driver mouth, and aggressive personality. Most days I embrace that, but there are some days when I wish things were different.


^^This! :yep:


Well put!

:heythere:
Elisa


me too!! I am coming in late, but interested to follow along :)

Thanks ladies! And welcome MamaMuscle!

[Melissa]

This week marks the first week of "phase two" of my offseason. This is where we will really start to push things along to make progress. More calories, less cardio. My body is used to eating more, moving heavy weight again, and doing less cardio, so it's time to make it work for me. Now is when it's really time to grow. Whether it's because I'm in a good place mentally or whatever, but I'm having great workouts. I am consistently feeling strong, and my energy levels have been really good. Plus, I'm getting my dead lift mojo back, and I LOVE it. I'm paying for it with some pretty bad hamstring pain following my back workouts, though, and I realize that could be detrimental for me in the future. But l would be lying if I didn't admit that I have an "I'll deal with that when it's a real problem" mentality. I know I'm not getting any younger and people talk about training smarter not harder, blah blah blah. And I do for the most part, but as I've said a million times through my journal, I love love love squatting and dead lifting. They are the bread and butter of why I love to train, so when I'm not able to do them, I feel like something's missing.

Anyway, this weekend I'll be heading down to do a little holiday partying/eating at the Morel house. The usual suspects will be there....Kat, Jillian, Juan, etc.....along with a TON of food!!! It'll be a blast for sure. There's nothing like hanging out and chowing down with good friends. Plus, I don't know if someone has spiked my morning grits or what, but I'm really in the holiday spirit this year and am ALL about holiday parties....but don't worry, you will never catch me wearing Christmas-themed sweaters from QVC;)

[Sunnyday]

, I love love love squatting and dead lifting. They are the bread and butter of why I love to train, so when I'm not able to do them, I feel like something's missing.




The mark of a REAL woman! :yep:

[Sunnyday]

...and friends don't let friends wear Christmas-themed sweaters from QVC!

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

The mark of a REAL woman! :yep:

x2

Here are a few of the top exercises which I take priority above all others in my training:
· The Dead Lift (Romanian, Sumo, Close Stance, Single Leg, etc.)
· The Squat (Front Loaded, Back Loaded, Single Leg, Plyo, etc.)
· The Lunge (Walking, Static, Split, etc.)
· The Bench Press or DB Chest Press (Flat, Incline)
· Push-ups (all variations)
· Dips
· The Shoulder Press (BB or DB)
· Pull-ups and Chin-ups
· I would not object to seeing some Turkish get-ups (my personal favorite!), Hang-Cleans, Snatches or Push-Presses either!

:peace2:
Elisa

[stephaniewicked]

I know we are worlds apart (in the sense that I'm labeled "bikini" and you're a badass bodybuilder), but I know what you mean about seeing someone and having a brief moment of envy before realizing how content you are with your own physique. Obviously I'm not 105lbs with lines in my abs all year round and I feel the same off-season blues as the rest of everyone else here... and when I see some cute little size 0 or 2, I get briefly insecure and wonder why I can't just be thin all the time... but I LOVE lifting weights and I LOVE the look of a woman with muscle and I WANT that. So I always remind myself of the women I admire and none of them are skinny little size 0's... they are beautifully sculpted and strong! THAT's the kind of beautiful that motivates me.

And I know that probably sounds a lil cheesey, but I gotta tell myself SOMETHING to feel better when I'm all chubby, lol.

Have a great time with the crew this weekend... glad you're having a happy holiday season!! :)

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

I know we are worlds apart (in the sense that I'm labeled "bikini" and you're a badass bodybuilder), but I know what you mean about seeing someone and having a brief moment of envy before realizing how content you are with your own physique. Obviously I'm not 105lbs with lines in my abs all year round and I feel the same off-season blues as the rest of everyone else here... and when I see some cute little size 0 or 2, I get briefly insecure and wonder why I can't just be thin all the time... but I LOVE lifting weights and I LOVE the look of a woman with muscle and I WANT that. So I always remind myself of the women I admire and none of them are skinny little size 0's... they are beautifully sculpted and strong! THAT's the kind of beautiful that motivates me.

And I know that probably sounds a lil cheesey, but I gotta tell myself SOMETHING to feel better when I'm all chubby, lol.

Have a great time with the crew this weekend... glad you're having a happy holiday season!! :)

:gm:

x2!

Beautifully sculpted and strong!
THAT's the kind of beautiful that also motivates me!

:peace2:
Elisa

[The Prodigy]

...and friends don't let friends wear Christmas-themed sweaters from QVC!

What is QVC?

[stephaniewicked]

What is QVC?

It's like the home shopping network!

[tammyp]

i love QVC..i have bought all my cookware, 2 TVS, my sleep number bed...everything for over 20 years..(no sweaters though)

[Melissa]

...and friends don't let friends wear Christmas-themed sweaters from QVC!


i love QVC..i have bought all my cookware, 2 TVS, my sleep number bed...everything for over 20 years..(no sweaters though)

LOL!!! I'm not a total QVC hater, but the themed sweaters are no bueno:no: The woman who's office is directly across from mine is a QVC addict....sweaters and all. In fact, it's not Christmas around the office unless Pam's rocking one of her 12 Days of Christmas sweaters!!!

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

i love QVC..i have bought all my cookware, 2 TVS, my sleep number bed...everything for over 20 years..(no sweaters though)

Hello everyone!

Thanks for sharing! I never heard about it...

Looks like they have a products with good value!

I wish you a great week end!

:peace2:
Elisa

[Melissa]

I know we are worlds apart (in the sense that I'm labeled "bikini" and you're a badass bodybuilder), but I know what you mean about seeing someone and having a brief moment of envy before realizing how content you are with your own physique. Obviously I'm not 105lbs with lines in my abs all year round and I feel the same off-season blues as the rest of everyone else here... and when I see some cute little size 0 or 2, I get briefly insecure and wonder why I can't just be thin all the time... but I LOVE lifting weights and I LOVE the look of a woman with muscle and I WANT that. So I always remind myself of the women I admire and none of them are skinny little size 0's... they are beautifully sculpted and strong! THAT's the kind of beautiful that motivates me.

And I know that probably sounds a lil cheesey, but I gotta tell myself SOMETHING to feel better when I'm all chubby, lol.

Have a great time with the crew this weekend... glad you're having a happy holiday season!! :)

I'll be completely honest here...the fact of the matter is that I am sometimes very jealous of the bikini girls' look, on or offseason. Most of you are still petite with some muscle and have a little sexy swagger. I was once considered petite...in 2nd grade. And my swagger usually consists of me trying to pull my too-tight pants outta my ass. :p:p:p

And btw, I hope YOU'RE having a good holiday season so far amidst all the craziness of your move!!!

[partsRheavy]

You've got a great point!! What do you think about the winter clothes at the mall vs. the summer stuff? What brands/styles do you like?

For a long time, I've liked the winter clothes a lot better. I recently moved to a much warmer place, so I'm paying more attention to summer-type clothes though.



I feel like if they made nice clothes to fit bodybuilders or even a more "athletic" body type, we might not have so many body image issues. Hmmmm, perhaps Express: Athlete has some possibilities....Express style made for the female athlete.

[Sunnyday]

i love QVC..i have bought all my cookware, 2 TVS, my sleep number bed...everything for over 20 years..(no sweaters though)


Tammy that is great! I could probably get some good buys there. The holiday-themed sweaters is where I draw the line. ;)

[tammyp]

im cool with summer clothes. its jackets in the winter that are a pita to try to fit. leather jackets? forget it. between a 36dd chest, wide back arms and shoulders and these short arms....i look like a monkey with the sleaves dragging on the ground.

[Melissa]

You've got a great point!! What do you think about the winter clothes at the mall vs. the summer stuff? What brands/styles do you like?

For a long time, I've liked the winter clothes a lot better. I recently moved to a much warmer place, so I'm paying more attention to summer-type clothes though.

I agree with Tammy in that trying to find winter coats that fit is a complete PITA. I have two really nice dress winter coats from Victoria's Secret that I bought in the past two years (right before I switched to bb), and now neither of them fit me:byeg: I often wear dress shirts to work, and I've found that the ones from Express seem to fit me best beacause they have a little stretch in them. Granted, I have to wear a Large, and even those are getting a little snug. I have good luck finding clothes for work at Express (their Editor style pants with a little stretch also fit me fairly well) and also online at Victoria's Secret. I've gotten some great fitting pants from VS without having to take them to be altered.

On a similar note, I went to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress last week (note: it's strapless and makes me look like a linebacker because I have such big upper traps:mad:). I wound up having to get a size 10 dress just to fit my back, and I don't even have a wide back. Even the 10 was a little too tight, but I'll be about halfway into my prep when the wedding rolls around, so a 10 will be fine in the back but they'll be taking the rest of the dress in right up until the 11th hour. Fortunately, the bride is another one of my very close friends, and she's not a bridezilla at all, so she's cool with the last minute stuff. In fact, she's so awesome that, when she found out I was going to be prepping at her wedding, she asked if I wanted her to talk to the catering place to have them make me food from my diet....THIS is exactly why I feel so lucky to have the friends I do:hugme:

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

:gm:

To you all.... Melissa you always make me laugh out load... really! Your comments are so funny!

I noticed that the Brazilian pants has a better fit... small waist , big butt, most of them with minimum 4% elastin!
The European and the American pants seems to me to be made to either woman with not butt or overweight...

What do you guys think about opening a treat about clothing consignment or exchange... I have so many design dresses I brought when I was in Italy that doesn't fit me anymore, worn just a few times ...

Melissa, what a dedication! Are going friend going to eat all those yummy food right in front of you! Can you resist? Because I can't!

Have fun at the wedding and Send our congrats to your friends on her Wedding!

:peace2:
Elisa Charm

[Melissa]

:gm:

To you all.... Melissa you always make me laugh out load... really! Your comments are so funny!

I noticed that the Brazilian pants has a better fit... small waist , big butt, most of them with minimum 4% elastin!
The European and the American pants seems to me to be made to either woman with not butt or overweight...

What do you guys think about opening a treat about clothing consignment or exchange... I have so many design dresses I brought when I was in Italy that doesn't fit me anymore, worn just a few times ...

Melissa, what a dedication! Are going friend going to eat all those yummy food right in front of you! Can you resist? Because I can't!

Have fun at the wedding and Send our congrats to your friends on her Wedding!

:peace2:
Elisa Charm

Thanks, I'm dedicated, but I'm not resisting a DAMN thing today!!! This will be my cheat meal. And glad my comments get a little giggle out of you:)

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

Thanks, I'm dedicated, but I'm not resisting a DAMN thing today!!! This will be my cheat meal. And glad my comments get a little giggle out of you:)

:yep:

Have fun!

:peace2:
Elisa

[Sunnyday]

I agree with Tammy in that trying to find winter coats that fit is a complete PITA. I have two really nice dress winter coats from Victoria's Secret that I bought in the past two years (right before I switched to bb), and now neither of them fit me:byeg: I often wear dress shirts to work, and I've found that the ones from Express seem to fit me best beacause they have a little stretch in them. Granted, I have to wear a Large, and even those are getting a little snug. I have good luck finding clothes for work at Express (their Editor style pants with a little stretch also fit me fairly well) and also online at Victoria's Secret. I've gotten some great fitting pants from VS without having to take them to be altered.

On a similar note, I went to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress last week (note: it's strapless and makes me look like a linebacker because I have such big upper traps:mad:). I wound up having to get a size 10 dress just to fit my back, and I don't even have a wide back. Even the 10 was a little too tight, but I'll be about halfway into my prep when the wedding rolls around, so a 10 will be fine in the back but they'll be taking the rest of the dress in right up until the 11th hour. Fortunately, the bride is another one of my very close friends, and she's not a bridezilla at all, so she's cool with the last minute stuff. In fact, she's so awesome that, when she found out I was going to be prepping at her wedding, she asked if I wanted her to talk to the catering place to have them make me food from my diet....THIS is exactly why I feel so lucky to have the friends I do:hugme:


Hey Melissa - I just braved the mall today for some last-minute gifts. Turns out Express is having 30% off of everything right now. I was also at the Limited and they are having 40% off of everything. Just wanted to give you a heads-up.

So which store are you finding these friends of yours? I need one or two. In fact, I can't think of any fbb who wouldn't be thrilled to have a friend like her!

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

I have learned a lot how to shopping for clothing smarter in these past days... Thanks guys ...

I am buying a few dresses for my vacation all lose and with 8% elastin, so if I lose or gain 15-20 lbs I can still wear them....

Here are some I purchase , What do you guys think?

The pink dress also great with legging, and the top is complete open on the side, just wear with tank top ... I spend $250.00 ...

:peace2:
Elisa Charm

[Melissa]

Hey Melissa - I just braved the mall today for some last-minute gifts. Turns out Express is having 30% off of everything right now. I was also at the Limited and they are having 40% off of everything. Just wanted to give you a heads-up.

So which store are you finding these friends of yours? I need one or two. In fact, I can't think of any fbb who wouldn't be thrilled to have a friend like her!

Thanks for the heads up, but I'm not going anywhere near the mall until after Christmas now lol. And honestly I don't know, but I am just really lucky to have a great bunch of friends, both bodybuilders and non-bodybuilders.


I have learned a lot how to shopping for clothing smarter in these past days... Thanks guys ...

I am buying a few dresses for my vacation all lose and with 8% elastin, so if I lose or gain 15-20 lbs I can still wear them....

Here are some I purchase , What do you guys think?

The pink dress also great with legging, and the top is complete open on the side, just wear with tank top ... I spend $250.00 ...

:peace2:
Elisa Charm

Cute!

[Melissa]

So, wanna talk about some serious irony? I go into the locker room after my workout this morning, and who happens to be at the locker right next to mine but the cute girl I was writing about last week. This girl seems to have appeared out of thin air into my gym because now I see her every Sunday all of a sudden. Anyway, she says to me, "Are you a bodybuilder?" And naturally, I'm thinking, "Oh brother, here we go..." So I tell her I am and that I compete, and her response was NOTHING that I expected. She says, "Wow, that's really impressive. You have an amazing body. I'm actually trying to put muscle on. I'd love to have arms like yours." My fat, bloated ass was like, ummmm whaaaaa????

So there you go. It just goes to show you that no matter what you think you look like, it's often not how others percieve you. Of course, since I have no filter, I told her that I often would much rather look like her and be able to wear the same cute clothes. Good thing she found that funny.

[tammyp]

WE ARE our own worst critics Mel. i think all of us have body dismorphia disorder~!!!

[stephaniewicked]

Speaking of Express, I got these coupons... I'd be happy to mail them to you if you want... you have to spend $75-$120 in order to get the money off, but sounds like a great deal! And I'm not gonna use it, so I'm happy to pass them along to someone who will. Good until the beginning of January, so let me know! :)

Also, that's really cool about the chick from the gym. Little conversations like that always put things in perspective. You never know what someone else is thinking or how they're feeling. And as Tammy said, we are all our own worst critics! That little compliment had to brighten your day though!

And cool about your friend understanding your diet. That kind of support from non-fitness lifestyle friends is always really appreciated! It makes up for all the people who aren't, lol.

[Melissa]

WE ARE our own worst critics Mel. i think all of us have body dismorphia disorder~!!!

So true! I didn't get into this sport because there was a time when I was really fat and wanted to lose weight or really skinny and wanted to put on muscle. I got into it because I was never happy with my body. And shocking as it may be (sarcasm), I'm STILL not happy with my body.


Speaking of Express, I got these coupons... I'd be happy to mail them to you if you want... you have to spend $75-$120 in order to get the money off, but sounds like a great deal! And I'm not gonna use it, so I'm happy to pass them along to someone who will. Good until the beginning of January, so let me know! :)

Also, that's really cool about the chick from the gym. Little conversations like that always put things in perspective. You never know what someone else is thinking or how they're feeling. And as Tammy said, we are all our own worst critics! That little compliment had to brighten your day though!

And cool about your friend understanding your diet. That kind of support from non-fitness lifestyle friends is always really appreciated! It makes up for all the people who aren't, lol.

Awww, girl, I got those same ones! Thank you, though. I absolutely love those coupons!

And you know, it's funny....maybe I'm just vain or I don't know what you'd call it, but that conversation actually didn't make me feel better. To be honest, no matter what she, or really anyone else, says, I only see one thing in the mirror these days--a fat, bloated mess. I guess that just goes to show you (well, me) how deep my own body image issues run. Always a work in progress...

[Kitty Kat]

So true! I didn't get into this sport because there was a time when I was really fat and wanted to lose weight or really skinny and wanted to put on muscle. I got into it because I was never happy with my body. And shocking as it may be (sarcasm), I'm STILL not happy with my body.



Awww, girl, I got those same ones! Thank you, though. I absolutely love those coupons!

And you know, it's funny....maybe I'm just vain or I don't know what you'd call it, but that conversation actually didn't make me feel better. To be honest, no matter what she, or really anyone else, says, I only see one thing in the mirror these days--a fat, bloated mess. I guess that just goes to show you (well, me) how deep my own body image issues run. Always a work in progress...
I still love you no matter what:hmn:
Your beautiful inside and out..xoxo
Merry Christmas girlie.

[Melissa]

I still love you no matter what:hmn:
Your beautiful inside and out..xoxo
Merry Christmas girlie.

Thanks mama...love you too:hugme::hugme::hugme: Merry Christmas xoxo

[Melissa]

Took progress pictures today, and there's nothing like giving yourself a good dose of reality. I look fine from the front and the sides, but when I turn around, I look like a completely different person. I'm storing a lot of fat in my lower back, ass, and hams.
This isn't entirely new to me, as it was similar last year, but the amount of fat back there is much greater than what the rest of my body is holding, so that's weird. It's amazing how my body seems to store fat a little differently each year (though I'm always garaunteed plenty of junk in my trunk).

Of course, I took the pictures right before training this morning, so I was in a foul mood when I got to the gym. Thank god for my training partner. He doesn't say much. Usually, he'll just let me run my mouth (in the offseason it's about how fat and gross I am and during prep it's about how tired and hungry I am). But every once in a while, he says just the right thing to pull me back to reality. And that's exactly what he did this morning when he reminded me that I whine about the same things every offseason yet have consistently wound up yielding the final result I'm looking for every year so far. Well, that shut me down real quick. Damn I hate when he's right! Honestly, I should probably have gotten him cotton balls for Christmas because his ears must bleed profusely from my complaining. Or maybe earplugs so he doesn't have to listen, period.

Anyway, Christmas is just about here, and tonight I'm off to my traditional Christmas Eve festivities at my non-parents' house. This is always my favorite part of Christmas because it all started after an impromptu visit to their house one Christmas Eve several years ago after some family drama with my real parents. And ever since then, it's become tradition for me to spend Christmas Eve there. There's always some sort of debauchery that winds up happening. A couple years ago, my brother got a new pair of shoes because the ones he always wore were just ugly and gross. So, instead of simply throwing them in the garbage, we had the bright idea to go out in the 2 feet of snow and BURN the shoes (of course, this was after several bottles of wine had been polished off)! Fortunately, the fire department did not have to be called. Well, on that note, it's off to celebrate!! Merry Christmas everyone...I hope you all enjoy the weekend with family and loved ones!!!!

[stephaniewicked]

Merry Christmas, babes! Hope you had a great Christmas Eve dinner and a great day tomorrow... Hope Santa treats you well!

[Melissa]

Merry Christmas, babes! Hope you had a great Christmas Eve dinner and a great day tomorrow... Hope Santa treats you well!

Merry Christmas to you, too!! Christmas Eve was an absolute blast, and I had one of the most enjoyable Christmas Days in a long time. I caught up with old friends this weekend, and there truly is nothing like reminiscing with old friends:)

[Melissa]

A little reflection....

Now that 2010 is coming to a close, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on things throughout this year. 2010 was a big year for personal change and growth for me. Looking back, I started the year off in a not so great place. I knew the big 3-0 was looming, and I was generally unhappy with a lot of things in my life. And that included a struggle to find the spark that I once had for the one thing I really loved to do--train and compete. Being the stubborn person that I am, when find myself in a rut, I have a hard time pulling myself out of it. I'm so determined to continue beating my head against the brick wall because, dammit, those bricks WILL break! This year, I took a different approach and really worked on making changes and doing things differently. Taking an alternate perspective on things and holding myself accountable when appropriate but, more importantly, not taking on others' responsibilities/blame in an attempt to validate myself. I also managed to untangle myself from some pretty unhealthy relationships and be more appreciative of the healthy, supportive ones around me. And amazingly enough, once I did that, I found that I had more of those healthy, supportive ones than I ever even realized...imagine that.

So what does this all have to do with bodybuilding? Lots. I never realized how much a lot of those things were dragging me down and how much mental energy was being sucked up. I'm convinced that working through a lot of that stuff was a HUGE contributing factor to why I had such a good prep this year and made the improvements I did. All along, I kept wondering when the other shoe would drop. When would I fall apart or when would this [prep] all of a sudden stop being fun? But that didn't happen. And I'm pretty sure this is why. Without all that crapola weighing me down, I was able to not only meet and exceed my goals but to enjoy the entire process of getting there and the subsequent success.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm a pretty big proponent of always making progress. Always moving forward, changing, improving. In some way, shape, or form, I'm working towards a goal. My bodybuilding and the goals I have in the sport are merely a tangible example of the kind of person I am and how I live my life as far as my values and expectations for myself. With 2010 almost over, I'm already well into working on my goals for 2011...grinding away in the gym and working to keep some of the mental clarity that I found this past year.

[Melissa]

A little training/diet update....after my horrendous progress pictures, we decided to pull a little bit of food out of my diet and increase my cardio for this week. Part of the problem seemed to be that my body wasn't really processing the food the way it should, and that was causing a lot of bloat and weight gain. Sean and I have found through our several offseasons together that my body will throw a curve ball all of a sudden like gaining four pounds in a week and having a lot of bloating, despite not changing anything in my diet/cardio. And that's usually a sign that my body isn't digesting what I'm eating the way it should. In the past, we've simply rearranged my diet. That worked fairly well, but given that I do seem to have gained more fat than either of us would like at this point, the cutting of cals and extra cardio seemed to be a better option this time. I guess we'll see at the end of the week how well it worked. I will say that the bloating has subsided a bit, so that's good.

As for my training, I have a feeling that I'm walking the fine line of overtraining. To be completely honest, I always thought that the whole concept of "overtraining" was complete bullshit and served as an excuse to not train your ass off, except maybe towards the end of a contest prep when you really aren't getting enough rest or food to aid recovery. But in the offseason? Please. I know how important recovery is and have ALWAYS made sure to get plenty of rest (I try my best to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night during the week and more on weekends). And well, we all know I get plenty of food. But the past two weeks, I have been feeling just downright awful physically. My joints hurt no matter what I do. The tendonitis in my elbows is off the charts. And I haven't been recovering from my workouts nearly as well as I normally do....to the point where my soreness was impairing workouts later in the week. In fact, in all the years that I have been training, I've NEVER felt like this. So, despite the extra cardio this week, we decided to pull back a little bit on my training volume and not push my workouts to failure just for this week. I *think* it's helped, but I guess we'll see next week. Fortunately, motivation is not an issue for me right now at all. It's just how I'm feeling physically. So yeah, I am a little afraid that I'm at a point where if I don't ease up for a little bit, I'm gonna fall apart somewhere in the middle of the offseason. I just need to keep telling myself that I have to train smarter....I'm no spring chicken anymore.

[The Prodigy]

Happy New Year girlie!!! Hope you have fun tonight!!!

[Suzanne]

Sorry to hear bout the elbow tendinitis that shit really sucks!! Hopefully easing up will help

[Sunnyday]

Ow! Tendonitis is nothing to sneeze at. Like Suzanne said, hope easing up will help. Hang in there, Melissa!

[Suzanne]

I had tendinitis BAD last off season and forearms killed. Here's what i tried and if i thought helped

NSADs seemed useless
Ice maybe helped a bit
Time off from gym didn't help
Lower reps and heavier - helped cuz less repetition on joint and tendons and forearm didn't get pumped and painful
Tiger balm etc i think helped some

biggest help massage stripping the forearm and ART and elec stim at chiro

Hopefully this will help give you some ideas on how to help it :)

For some reason it went away once i started prep :dunno: i don't think my joints and tendons like the added water or fat of off season

[Melissa]

Happy New Year girlie!!! Hope you have fun tonight!!!

Thanks, Gail! Happy New Year to you, too! I hope you enjoyed your time in NY...sorry we weren't able to catch up. I need to get back out to my home town out there by you!


Ow! Tendonitis is nothing to sneeze at. Like Suzanne said, hope easing up will help. Hang in there, Melissa!

Aww, thank you! The tendonitis isn't really even what was getting to me because it seems to flare up every offseason, so I'm kinda used to it. It's my body's inability to recover like it usually does that was really worrying me. But so far this week, I seem to be doing a little better, so we shall see.


I had tendinitis BAD last off season and forearms killed. Here's what i tried and if i thought helped

NSADs seemed useless
Ice maybe helped a bit
Time off from gym didn't help
Lower reps and heavier - helped cuz less repetition on joint and tendons and forearm didn't get pumped and painful
Tiger balm etc i think helped some

biggest help massage stripping the forearm and ART and elec stim at chiro

Hopefully this will help give you some ideas on how to help it :)

For some reason it went away once i started prep :dunno: i don't think my joints and tendons like the added water or fat of off season

Girl, I think we got the same set of elbows lol. Tiger balm is the only thing that as given me any relief. There are no good ART docs around me, and I can't afford to get regular massages done. Besides, if I go for a massage, my upper back is what desperately needs the attention lol--that's a whole other issue in and of itself. And mine only flares up in the offseason, too, and I've always thought it's the extra bodyfat and water of the offseason as well. I vary my rep ranges from week to week, so I know that doesn't have much to do with it. Some weeks, going heavy with low reps will really aggravate it and some weeks the high reps aggravate it, and then some weeks, I'm fine with either one. So it's really hit or miss.

[Melissa]

I've been saying all week that I need to get my arse in here and do a little update, but I just never had the time. Well, tonight mother nature forced me to have some extra time because I'm basically snowed in, grrrrr. I swear, if I wasn't so scared of change and didn't have such a good job here, I would totally move somewhere warm, preferably AZ. The cold is manageable (even though it makes me feel like a rickety old lady when I get out of bed in the morning)...it's the snow that I can't stand. We only got 8 inches of it today, but I'm pretty sure they forgot to plow. The roads are awful here...my car is pretty damn good in the snow, but I was all over the place on my way home from work tonight. I'm also thoroughly annoyed with all the snow because my training partner and I were supposed to head down to Bev's to train tomorrow, but all this crap is gonna freeze overnight and will make for a nasty drive down in the morning. Our weekends to go down are dwindling because the crew season starts back up when the college kids come back in another couple weeks, and they have weekend practices.

Anyway, this week was a little better training-wise. But I'm still feeling kind of achey and not recovered. I simply can't seem to get my strength to budge, and that's unusual for me at this point in my offseason when my body typically has settled into "offseason mode." I've been toying with the idea of taking a full week off from training and cardio to see if that helps. But to be honest, losing a whole week of training freaks me the eff out. Like it would be a whole lost week of progress. I know the reality is that it could very well be what HELPS my progress, but I can't wrap my head around that (probably because I'm craaaaaazy:dunno:). I guess this is something I'll need to bounce off Sean and see what he thinks. It's pretty frustrating when your head and your body won't get on the same page. My head is saying "I can't wait for USA's! Get in there and let's kill this workout" and my body is saying "Too late, you poor bastard, I'm already dead." :p I keep hoping I'm just having a bit of a rough patch like I did around this time last offseason. Fortunately, I came out of that funk just fine, so I have no doubts that this will pass.

[tammyp]

i hate the cold love the snow. we got nothing here...and we NEED it here for the local economy.

maybe you need to take a week and deload...train lighter, more intensity w super sets, dropped sets. heavy all the time can get to your CNS. i have been training much lighter these past 2 months and my joints are thanking me.

[Melissa]

i hate the cold love the snow. we got nothing here...and we NEED it here for the local economy.

maybe you need to take a week and deload...train lighter, more intensity w super sets, dropped sets. heavy all the time can get to your CNS. i have been training much lighter these past 2 months and my joints are thanking me.

Good point, Tam! This is exactly why I keep this journal on here. I can be so robotic and stuck in my ways that sometimes all it takes is a little nudge in the right direction to open my eyes. I have a very all or nothing and black/white personality, which can lead to me thinking "train heavy or just don't train at all." And let's be serious, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that that kind of thinking isn't promoting any kind of longevity in the sport for me.

[stephaniewicked]

Hey girl... just checking in and catching up on what's new with you! How have things been this week since you pulled some of the food and increased cardio? Has that balanced out at all?

I know what you mean about taking a break... my head can't get wrapped around that at all! I feel like my strength will plummet and my ass will grow three times it's size like the Grinch's heart! Of course, I know that isn't necessarily true, but I can't get myself to take schduled breaks. "Lucky" for me (if you wanna call it that!), I had such a crazy December that I unintentionally lowered training for a few weeks... only training 2-4 days/week for 2-3 weeks. I knew that come January, it was balls to the wall, so I allowed myself to not stress about it because that was the only way I could balance everything going on and get stuff done. Last week I got back on track fulltime and this week rocked every night... I love when it all comes together. I have no doubt that it will for you too... you're too damn determined for it not to! :p

Sorry you're not enjoying the snow and that it messed up your plans to hit up Bev's! Hope you stay warm and have a great weekend!

[Melissa]

Hey girl... just checking in and catching up on what's new with you! How have things been this week since you pulled some of the food and increased cardio? Has that balanced out at all?

I know what you mean about taking a break... my head can't get wrapped around that at all! I feel like my strength will plummet and my ass will grow three times it's size like the Grinch's heart! Of course, I know that isn't necessarily true, but I can't get myself to take schduled breaks. "Lucky" for me (if you wanna call it that!), I had such a crazy December that I unintentionally lowered training for a few weeks... only training 2-4 days/week for 2-3 weeks. I knew that come January, it was balls to the wall, so I allowed myself to not stress about it because that was the only way I could balance everything going on and get stuff done. Last week I got back on track fulltime and this week rocked every night... I love when it all comes together. I have no doubt that it will for you too... you're too damn determined for it not to! :p

Sorry you're not enjoying the snow and that it messed up your plans to hit up Bev's! Hope you stay warm and have a great weekend!

I think the week of extra cardio/less calories helped to just prime my body to be more productive with the food when I added the calories back....my stomach issues seemed to subside quite a bit, relatively speaking.

With my training, since I periodize my workouts, I'm going to skip my heavy/low rep week this time around to try to give my joints and CNS a bit of a break. I go in three-week cycles where week one is heavy weight/low reps, week two is moderate weight/moderate reps, and week three is lower weights/higher reps and supersets. The intention of periodizing like this is to avoid overtraining and allowing my CNS to recover, but I seem to be a little beyond that at this point.

[Melissa]

Alright, weigh-in day today....147.4, not too awful. That's up just over a pound from last week, which is ok. I also think I look a little better this week, less bloated and squishy. Next week I have to send pics....YUCK! But it keeps things real.

So, we never made it down to Bev's yesterday. The roads were just too icy in the morning. But I wound up having a productive day anyway....trained back in the morning, went food shopping, got my nails done, did laundry, and ran a couple other errands. By the time I got home around 6:30, I was pooped (I know, it's such a rock star life that I lead)! So I took the opportunity to get caught up on the first episode of the new Jersey Shore season. And ummm, yeah, LOVE IT! I was a little disappointed at the Miami season. I mean, Jersey shore guidos and guidettes just don't belong in Miami. It simply doesn't work. In the interest of not boring everyone to death with my introspections about the show and the characters, I will say that my love for Pauly D remains true. I think he's probably the only one who has stayed relatively true to himself, well maybe him and JWow. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to watching all that drama unfold:yep:

On another note, I'm starting to get really excited for the Arnold. I'll be working the Species booth there for the second year, and I'm looking forward to seeing old friends who I only seem to get to see at shows. Last year was a blast, and I have no doubt this year will be a whole lot of the same. I just need to get on the horn and book my flight because it's a long walk to Columbus!

[shankuan]

i was in a bookstore today and saw just the face on the cover and I SWORE it was you Melissa! lolol.

[Melissa]

^^Wow, sweet, thanks! I only wish I looked like her. I will say I agree that her face does resemble mine a little, but it's usually tough to see the resemblance in your own comparison. Aaaahhhh, if only I had an opportunity at a cover like that...

[stephaniewicked]

You are so incredibly in-tune with your body, so I trust that whatever decisions you and Sean make are because you both feel comfortable you're doing the right thing. Sounds like taking a break from heavy lifting this week is what you need...

And I didn't want to admit that I liked JS at first, but I've really come to like this bunch (minus Sammi, because she really is a bitch! And Mike because he's a selfish tool!) Deena seems cool so far too, so I'm looking forward to seeing how this season rolls... I really couldn't take Angelina one more second. Her friggin' voice irritated the shit out of me!! :hypno:

[Melissa]

My updates have been few and far between, mostly because I just haven't had much to say. Offseason can be a little dull sometimes since changes aren't happening rapidly like they do during prep.

Things seem to be getting better on the training end, and I feel like I'm coming into a bit of a strength surge here. The aches and pains are subsiding a little bit, but I know I'm in desperate need of massage and/or chiropractic work on my right shoulder/upper back region. I'm pretty knotted up back there, and it's causing a little bit of restriction in my range of motion. I just need to come up with the funds to get that addressed. My weight this week was 147.8, so in the past 5 weeks of this "bulking" phase, I've put on about 7 pounds, ugh. I also took pictures this morning, which as we all know, I absolutely hate doing. I swear, I don't mind how I look from the front in the offseason, but when I turn around, I look like a completely different person. It's pretty gross, actually. I just keep telling myself that it's all a means to an end and try not to let it become an obsessive thought (as so many negative thoughts can for me).

On a different note, I booked my flight for the Arnold today. I'm getting more and more excited about this trip. It's a long ass weekend of work, but it's still fun. Last year was my first year, and I was totally like a wide-eyed kid in Disney land. But I will say, I simply can't handle walking around the crowded expo during my breaks. I don't do crowds on a normal basis, so the expo is like super-overstimulation. Being behind the booth kinda shields you from that crowd, even though some people still somehow managed to invade your personal space despite the table between you lol.

I was asked (by the one and only GX, actually) if I was going to diet down for this weekend, and that made me think. I know a lot of people will do that because of the nature of the weekend. But I simply can't wrap my head around dieting during my offseason and compromising my offseason gains simply so I can "keep up with the Jones's" as far as being in shape goes. Sure, I'd love to actually be in shape at something like this, especially since I have to wear shorts. But I have my reasons for doing this sport, and it's much more important for me to maximize my offseason so I can be my best at USA's. So I'll just be putting pants on anytime I move from behind the booth:p

[stephaniewicked]

First of all, before I forget... a new episode of Jersey Shore goes on tonight. I think it's 9pm, but gotta check. Just thought I'd remind you about that... ;)

Yay for the Arnold!!! I haven't done anything yet, except book my room which I did 6 or 7 months ago. One of my Christmas presents to Jon was tickets for the pro men's prejudging (finals were too expensive for the kind of seats we would have had!) But we are done (and I have the tickets!), so I think I'll see if my friend Jean wants to go again this year. We had a blast last year, so I know she would be down for it! Gotta figure it all out. Either way, I'm so freakin' exciteddddd!

And I hear you about the dieting thing. The Arnold was one of the reasons I decided to start my diet a few weeks early. It wasn't a big deal for me though. Your last show was later in the year, so you have a very good reason for not wanting to screw with your off-season progress... you're a bodybuilder and this is what you do. Nobody will be judging you for that. You've got a goal to hit this summer... so do YOU, woman!

Oh, and can I just say how excited I am to train at Metro Fitness again! haha... loved that place!!

[Melissa]

Waaaaahhhh!!! (that's supposed to be my Snooki sound....much better in person, I swear). I saw the preview for it this morning when I was doing cardio. I'm so excited, probably too excited lol. I swear, I just can't get enough of the hot mess that is this show. And I totally heart Pauly D:flowers:

[Melissa]

So, I just got back from a much-need little girls' weekend down in the BX. I headed down to Kat's last night and met up with Jillian and Nicole there, and we all sat around and caught up and you know, talked girl talk n stuff:p Then this morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island to train at Bev's. The three of them all hit legs, and being the solo-trainer that I sometimes like to be, I trained back. And in true to myself fashion, I was like a kid in a candy store and hit more exercises than I probably needed to, but I can't help it in that gym. There's just too much good stuff in there to not want to try it all, especially for a body part like back. Anyway, I was still plugging through my back workout when the girls finished legs and went on to do cardio (since they're all dieting). By the time they were done with cardio, I figured I should put the weights down and call it a day lol.

Afterwards, we went back to Kat's and just chilled out for the afternoon (and were later on joined by Juan) before I headed back up here for the night. I tell you, there's nothing like some good solid girl time to get your head right and just put you in a good mood. It was no wild and crazy weekend, but it was just what the doctor ordered.

Despite the obnoxious snow that we've been getting here, I've managed to get all my workouts and cardio in, and things are going reasonably well. But I gotta say, I'm straight up fucking TIRED of all this snow. And we're supposed to get another big storm this coming week. Seriously? Mother Nature and Old Man Winter need to work out their differences because I'm tired of being caught in the middle of their bullshit. It's messing up my schedule. The snow slows me down, and I ain't got time to be slowed down. Perhaps couples counseling?

Ok, that's enough for now. It's time for bed for this tired old lady. Tomorrow is weigh in, arms and cardio, and then cheat meal!!

[stephaniewicked]

Sounds like a nice little weekend... I agree about needing girl time! It's so therapeutic to have a nice day or night with girl friends just talking, laughing, venting, etc.

Enjoy that cheat... what's on the menu for this week?

[Melissa]

Sounds like a nice little weekend... I agree about needing girl time! It's so therapeutic to have a nice day or night with girl friends just talking, laughing, venting, etc.

Enjoy that cheat... what's on the menu for this week?

Thanks, I totally did. I opted for a burger and sweet potatoe fries and finished it off with some Cold Stone...I'm such a creature of habit. I've been feeling IHOP lately, so maybe that's where I'll go next week. The problem is, my old cheat meal partners in crime aren't really around much now, and most of my other friends up here don't like IHOP (I know, that's sacreligious as far as I'm concerned)....hmmm, does IHOP do take out?:p

[Michelle Brent]

Hey Melissa, finally got my big butt over here!! love your journal, no holds barred!! I love to work out at Bevs but I have New Haven Golds only 30 min always so that is even better!! Will be meeting up with Jillian today for our first posing round with the WP. Will be interesting!!!
Keep up the good work this is going to be a great year!!!!

[Melissa]

Hey Melissa, finally got my big butt over here!! love your journal, no holds barred!! I love to work out at Bevs but I have New Haven Golds only 30 min always so that is even better!! Will be meeting up with Jillian today for our first posing round with the WP. Will be interesting!!!
Keep up the good work this is going to be a great year!!!!

Yayayay!! So glad you're here:hugme: And thanks for following along...sometimes I'm pretty sure I'm just talking to myself in here lol. I've been wanting to get out to Golds NH to train because I heard it's a great gym. But I do love Bev's. I want to try to set something up with Jillian for a Saturday to maybe meet at her house and then go train there, so maybe we can all meet up.:yep:

[stephaniewicked]

Thanks, I totally did. I opted for a burger and sweet potatoe fries and finished it off with some Cold Stone...I'm such a creature of habit. I've been feeling IHOP lately, so maybe that's where I'll go next week. The problem is, my old cheat meal partners in crime aren't really around much now, and most of my other friends up here don't like IHOP (I know, that's sacreligious as far as I'm concerned)....hmmm, does IHOP do take out?:p

See THAT sounds good... I'm taking notes in case I get another cheat before May. I wanna make it count... no more almost-Outback accidents! Mmm... Coldstone!! <3 Do you get the same flavor each time, or do you mix it up every week?

Yes, IHOP *does* do takeout because I used to order omelets from there for lunch. Personally I think I'd rather not eat a cheat meal out of a styrofoam container, but if you're going for pancakes, it probably doesn't matter. A yummy, fluffy stack of pancakes is so amazingly pleasurable... so styrofoam container or not - who cares! :p

[Michelle Brent]

YES!!! I just worked out with her yesterday, before more snow!! AHHH!!
We started working on her poses! She picked up it up quick!! Gonna be fun!

[Melissa]

And yet again, I find I have been neglecting my journal. Seems like I just can't keep up with things lately. At work, I'm beyond trying to put out fires....I'm just trying not to get burned by them. It's actually getting a little out of control, to be honest. There have been lots of cuts, and like lots of other places, we need to do more with much less. I'm literally drowing in my own caseload. When I first took over this caseload, I had 55 cases. I now have 88. EIGHTY EIGHT mother fucking cases:hypno: And these guys are an active bunch and have been keeping me on my toes with new arrests, positive drug tests, and my all time favorite, beating up their gf's/wives.

Now, in addition to managing my all-star bunch, I was approached a couple of weeks ago by one of our higher-ups about additional job duties. The guy who handles our computer system (not really an IT guy, but more like a liason between the county's IT peeps and the other employees in my department) is retiring at the end of February, and he's the only one in my department who can do that particular job. So they need a replacement, and who do they ask? Yup, me. Apparently, administration at my job seems to think I'm intelligent enough to learn some of these IT basics and be the go-to person for computer stuff. Thank you Marist College for teaching me how to PRETEND to be smart. Unfortunately, the extra responsibility doesn't come with extra pay because that's just one of the downsides to civil service, but it does come with quite a bit of power since I will have administrative access to EVERYTHING in our system. Muuwwaahahaha Actually, the best part about it is that it helps solidfy my position at the department in the case of potential future layoffs. So, I've been busy as hell trying to balance all that. Oh, and another problem with the added responsibility, is that in the midst of all the cutbacks, they have cut our OT, so that means I have to do two jobs in the same amount of time that I was doing one....sigh. I'm also a little sad because this computer stuff forces me to be in the office more instead of out doing fieldwork, which is one of my favorite parts of my job.

Wow, so this post has turned out to have nothing to do with training. No wonder I'm so exhausted at the end of my day....my brain is going a bazillion miles an hour trying to cram too much stuff into a limited time frame. Training has been going ok, but I've been having my own reservations about things on that end that I'll spare you details on for now. Just lots of questions about whether I'm progressing the way I should at this point and if I'll really bring as much of an improved look as I want to USA's and wondering if I should wait until Nationals. Guess I'll have to have a little chit chat with the coach.

[stephaniewicked]

I learned very early in my career that if you are competent and do something well, it's not always a good thing because it just creates more work for you lol. It sounds like having even more job security certainly can't be a bad thing... but you're already a busy little bee. Good luck with whatever happens, mama! I'm sure they wouldn't have nominated you for this if they didn't feel confident in your abilities to balance it all.

[Melissa]

It's a damn good thing I'm not as dedicated to my training as I am to this journal because I'd never progress anywhere in this sport. Things have actually been going pretty well though with training. I am finally, Finally, FINALLY coming into this surge in strength that I've been waiting for over the past few weeks. And it couldn't have come at a better time. With how miserable the weather has been (and considering how much I absolutely HATE the snow and cold), it's been tough to get motivated to get to the gym, much less stay on the rediculously rigid schedule that I typically like to keep. But I haven't missed a workout or cardio session...it's just taken some shuffling around of my schedule that's all.

And when I get in to train, no matter what's falling out of the sky lately, I've managed to have some insane workouts. I'm still dealing with the tendonitis and some achy joints, but when my body feels strong like this, I train with true retard strength because I'm somehow able to block out the extraneous crap. The downside to this (did you really think I could NOT have a negative comment) is my weight and my conditioning, or rather lack thereof. I finally hit the 150 mark, and I'm not at all happy about it. The last time I weighed this much was during my first offseason switching from figure to bb. Granted, I look much better at the 2011 version of 150 than I did at the 2009 version of 150, but still. It's a tough ass pill to swallow. And as my training partner always reminds me, I go through this same thought process every offseason, questioning whether or not this weight gain and this offseason look is worth it. Yet, when show time rolls around, I am 100% validated. So then why, when I know that it's worth it in the end, do I continue to beat myself over the head with the same question every damn offseason?

The answer is simple: I don't trust myself. I don't ever believe that I'm putting in enough work. I have sacrificed social functions because of training or because I've felt the need to get back on track with my diet, even in the offseason. I have put training before work at times and sleep before social occasions so that I can ensure proper recovery. I schedule my appointments around my meal times. Yet I will never meet my own expectations for how hard I feel I should be working. Maybe that means I'll always stay hungry, so to speak, with regard to this sport. While that will hopefully translate into constant improvement, it can undoubtedly be a very self destructive thing if I left untamed.

I don't know if I'm the only one that feels this way, and maybe I'm alone in my looney bin. Then so be it. I honestly don't know any other way to operate. Despite the destructive aspect of it, there is a huge motivating, positively reinforcing factor in it for me (that constant hunger). And until that part no longer exists, it'll likely be one of the main driving forces of my so-called competitive career.

Wow, I should charge myself $100 for that therapy session:p

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

Don't be so hard on yourself!

[tammyp]

mel that post needs a LIKE button. i could have written that myself....i avoided my bubbys xmas party bc of the food, late night and not wanting to find soemthing that would fit. i so hear ya~

[Suzanne]

I try my best not to let BB lifestyle get in the way. I still go to all the family functions, concerts, movies, out to eat. I just bring my stuff. The years I went to Chase's company Christmas dinner I either brought food or we called ahead to see if they could do food the way i needed; I was off season but not a cheat meal day. And i rearrange training if needed since have 1 or 2 days off from lifting i will just switch an off day. I really really try to not feel "trapped" by bbing. We don't have big social circle so not really a prob.

This year finally i am very happy how i look off season. We finally found the right balance.

[Melissa]

The thing is, I don't feel trapped by bodybuilding at all. I feel trapped by my work ethic and my own expectations. I don't have a ton of leeway with switching my training split around because my two non-lifting days are set for the two days a week that I work longer hours, so I'm usually too exhausted to go to the gym after work on those days.

My point is that I often don't feel that I'm working hard enough to reach my goals sometimes, despite that I make certain sacrifices and whatnot. I'm also well aware that it's very distorted thinking. That's why it's not as simple as saying, "don't be so hard on yourself." That's like saying to someone with anorexia, "well it's only food, just eat it." Or telling some of the girls here who struggle with binge eating, "just don't eat all that food...only have a little bit." Changing one's thinking is even harder than changing one's behaviors because you have to change the thoughts before the behaviors can follow.

[Suzanne]

Ah gotcha i misunderstood.

[Melissa]

Ah gotcha i misunderstood.

;) No prob...going back and reading it, I could see how it wasn't entirely clear.

Another week in the books at 150...that's two weeks in a row for now. I'd like to stay at that weight for the remainder of prep and just try to tighten up, but who knows what my body is going to feel like doing. My consolation is the fact that I continue to have great workouts. I love going into the gym and being able to get after the workout with the same physical and mental intensity. So many times those two aren't in sync, and energy is wasted trying to get them on the same page, which winds up taking away from the workout. I hit my usual arms/calves and cardio this morning and will be doing my cheat meal tonight. I'm not much for the usual Super Bowl fare of wings and pizza, so I'll be bringing some sushi and Cold Stone to the Super Bowl party lol. Listen, this chick ain't wasting her weekly cheat meal on food she doesn't like, so laugh all you want:p

It's finally nice and sunny here, and it's even up in the 40's! I want to turn my heat off and open my windows...that's sad. :p As usual, the weather f'ed up my plans for this weekend. I was supposed to go to my friend's "Man Cave" for the UFC fights last night, but it was raining/sleeting all day and by night that shit froze and made for some icy roads. No way I'm driving in that crap. I literally feel trapped in my little shoebox apartment with all the horrible weather this winter. And with the way things are going, this shit better ease up or I won't be able to fly out to C-bus for the Arnold. If that happens, heads will be rolling:mad: Spring can't come fast enough!!!

Besides, with spring's arrival comes the start of prep for me, and I'm getting excited for that. It's hard to see progress through the offseason mush, but I'm pretty sure that I have improved my back thickness and width. Maybe not to where I'd be completely satisfied with it, but it is improved. I'm also really working on trying to get some detail into my hams and glutes, which has been difficult with that nagging injury I've had back there. Really high rep stiff leg dead lifts have been a staple on my ham days. There are some other changes that have gone on for me, too, that I hope will make a (good)difference come showtime.

[Suzanne]

Totally agree on not wasting cheats on food you don't want!! I had Coldstone this week and last week :yep: Love Love Love coldstone!

[FBB ELISA CHARM]

I loveeee sushi!

[Melissa]

Dear Training Journal,
I'm SO sorry for neglecting you. I still love you, and I hope you will forgive me. I've been so busy plugging away at my offseason progress that I haven't had much time to talk about it. Plus, I've had no creative juices to tell you anything good. But I promise I'm doing what I should be. Staying surprisingly positive and incredibly focused on my goal for this year. And, if I do say so myself, you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone with as much crazy in them as I have, so you know shit's getting done here. I promise I'll make it up to you in the end. I'm gonna go H.A.M:p I'll make you proud for sure. In the meantime, you're always in the back of my mind even when I'm not paying you much attention.
Love,
Melissa

I'm increasingly convinced that I have some minor form of Seasonal Affective Disorder because, even though it's still winter and gloomy here, the thought that spring is right around the corner has completely begun to change my attitude. I spend a good portion of the winter in a plain old state of "blah." I don't want to do shit. I have a shit attitude, and it's all I can do to drag myself through a solid workout. Every year, I wonder if I've just lost my spark for the sport. But sure enough, it comes back. And it's getting there now. With the AC not far away, I know that the beginning of my prep will quickly follow. I thought I was hungry for last year's goals. It's going to be 10-fold this year, I can feel it already. I'm also growing increasingly confident that I can make my goal of 125 on stage at USA's. If I make that, I will be entirely fulfilled for this year, regardless of placing.

I'm trying to keep things in perspective here, too, with regard to what might happen to women's bb and the potential for WP to take over. While I have been loving building my physique up and the challenge of trying to "fill out," I don't want to take my physique to too much of an extreme that I can't make a smooth transition to WP if that should wind up needing to happen. Fortunately, I feel I'm in a pretty good position this year as far as being able to be successful in bb and still having the option to switch to physique if women's bb is axed.

Today will be a pretty relaxing day. Heading down to the BX to hang with Kat, Jerry, and Juan. We're gonna go catch Black Swan, since I heard it was really good. Some of my guy friends up here saw it and could NOT stop talking about the exceptionally steamy girl/girl scene. So, I'm sure J and Juan will at least enjoy that part of the movie :no:

[JuanDiesel]

Dear Training Journal,
I'm SO sorry for neglecting you. I still love you, and I hope you will forgive me. I've been so busy plugging away at my offseason progress that I haven't had much time to talk about it. Plus, I've had no creative juices to tell you anything good. But I promise I'm doing what I should be. Staying surprisingly positive and incredibly focused on my goal for this year. And, if I do say so myself, you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone with as much crazy in them as I have, so you know shit's getting done here. I promise I'll make it up to you in the end. I'm gonna go H.A.M:p I'll make you proud for sure. In the meantime, you're always in the back of my mind even when I'm not paying you much attention.
Love,
Melissa

I'm increasingly convinced that I have some minor form of Seasonal Affective Disorder because, even though it's still winter and gloomy here, the thought that spring is right around the corner has completely begun to change my attitude. I spend a good portion of the winter in a plain old state of "blah." I don't want to do shit. I have a shit attitude, and it's all I can do to drag myself through a solid workout. Every year, I wonder if I've just lost my spark for the sport. But sure enough, it comes back. And it's getting there now. With the AC not far away, I know that the beginning of my prep will quickly follow. I thought I was hungry for last year's goals. It's going to be 10-fold this year, I can feel it already. I'm also growing increasingly confident that I can make my goal of 125 on stage at USA's. If I make that, I will be entirely fulfilled for this year, regardless of placing.

I'm trying to keep things in perspective here, too, with regard to what might happen to women's bb and the potential for WP to take over. While I have been loving building my physique up and the challenge of trying to "fill out," I don't want to take my physique to too much of an extreme that I can't make a smooth transition to WP if that should wind up needing to happen. Fortunately, I feel I'm in a pretty good position this year as far as being able to be successful in bb and still having the option to switch to physique if women's bb is axed.

Today will be a pretty relaxing day. Heading down to the BX to hang with Kat, Jerry, and Juan. We're gonna go catch Black Swan, since I heard it was really good. Some of my guy friends up here saw it and could NOT stop talking about the exceptionally steamy girl/girl scene. So, I'm sure J and Juan will at least enjoy that part of the movie :no:

Mel i think that we should talk about letting you pick movies for us to watch!! lol!! we definitely had a good time the movie was ok little crazy... but we did have an awesome time at the diner specially watching you and Kat eat my red velvet cake, you guys look like piranhas...

[sweetjane57]

The thing is, I don't feel trapped by bodybuilding at all. I feel trapped by my work ethic and my own expectations. I don't have a ton of leeway with switching my training split around because my two non-lifting days are set for the two days a week that I work longer hours, so I'm usually too exhausted to go to the gym after work on those days.

My point is that I often don't feel that I'm working hard enough to reach my goals sometimes, despite that I make certain sacrifices and whatnot. I'm also well aware that it's very distorted thinking. That's why it's not as simple as saying, "don't be so hard on yourself." That's like saying to someone with anorexia, "well it's only food, just eat it." Or telling some of the girls here who struggle with binge eating, "just don't eat all that food...only have a little bit." Changing one's thinking is even harder than changing one's behaviors because you have to change the thoughts before the behaviors can follow.

Woman, you are seriously the only person who has ever been able to put down, in writing, my feelings. I was like "OMG" as I read this! There are many times I feel pressured by myself, if that even makes any sense. Nate is always there to 'bring me back' into real life...I swear I wouldn't be able to do this without him!
thanks again for your honesty and talent to put my thoughts into words:)

[Melissa]

Mel i think that we should talk about letting you pick movies for us to watch!! lol!! we definitely had a good time the movie was ok little crazy... but we did have an awesome time at the diner specially watching you and Kat eat my red velvet cake, you guys look like piranhas...

Ok, I'll give you that...I should have my movie choosing priveledges suspended. But really? Pirhannas? You got some nerve calling Kat and I out like that considering the reputation you have with eating ice cream.;)


Woman, you are seriously the only person who has ever been able to put down, in writing, my feelings. I was like "OMG" as I read this! There are many times I feel pressured by myself, if that even makes any sense. Nate is always there to 'bring me back' into real life...I swear I wouldn't be able to do this without him!
thanks again for your honesty and talent to put my thoughts into words:)

Well thank you!! It's really flattering to hear that when people can relate to what I write. It's such a great feeling to be able to connect like that. And I know it doesn't always mean much coming from an outsider, but I think whatever work you're putting in doing you fantastic. I love your physique, and I really hope that girls with more streamlied physiques start to be the norm. Certainly would be good for us!! And fwiw, I'm also so impressed with your ventures in powerlifting. If you attack that the same way you do bb, you're going to be incredibly successful, especially with so much support in your corner!!:hugme:

[Melissa]

Well, let's just say this has been one mother fucker of a week for sure. On Wednesday, I started to feel really crappy, sore throat, headache, achy, coughing, so I stayed home from work and went to the doctor. Two people in my office in the past two weeks have come down with pneumonia, so I wasn't taking any chances. Doc says it's just a bad cold and sends me on my way. By Thursday, I'm feeling a little better, so I get up in the morning for cardio and head to work. I decided to try to train Thursday night in hopes that maybe getting a sweat going and some blood moving would kinda push this cold through me. WRONG! By the time I got home that night, my throat was screaming again. I couldn't stop coughing, and my head was ready to explode. I hit some NyQuil but that didn't even put a dent in me. I was up coughing and not able to breathe all night. Needless to say, I was bed ridden all day yesterday. And a sign that I was really in trouble? I had no appetite whatsoever. For a little piggy like me, that's no bueno. We're going on Day 4 of my disease, and I'm still feeling like hell. It's not even 10am, and it's already shaping up to be Day 2 in bed:mad: I don't have time to be sick. My offseason is coming to a close quickly, and I'm feeling like I'm running out of time to make improvements. With such a short offseason that I took this year, I need every week possible to be making gains.

However, in reality my offseason and this cold of mine are now the last things on my mind. In the midst of my coughing and moaning and groaning yesterday, I got a call no person in law enforcement ever wants to get. A friend of mine who works for one of our local police agencies (one that my department works very closely with) was shot in the head and killed in the line of duty yesterday afternoon. I can barely write this without getting a little choked up. It still doesn't seem real. Writing it makes it seem so final and absolute. It's such a scary reality check of what's out there and what can happen at any point in time. When you work in law enforcement, it's pretty typical hear about the statistics of the cops who get assaulted or killed in the line of duty. And while it's always a sad reminder to hear that kind of news, when one of your friends becomes that statistic, it's an overwhelming feeling that weighs heavily on your heart and your mind, one that can't really be expressed in words. I have a lot of close friends at this agency, too. And by close, I mean guys I talk to on an almost daily basis. Have hung out with outside of work. This is just way too close to home. So, for anyone that reads my journal, please keep this officer and his family and all other law enforcment in your thoughts and prayers. Remember, these people put their lives on the line every day when they go to work in order to protect you and your families. RIP #22

[tammyp]

mel my hubby mentioned this and i thought of you knowing this was your neck of the woods. i am sorry to hear that.

rest up and feel better..xoxo

[Suzanne]

So sorry to hear about your friend

Hope you are feeling better soon

[Melissa]

mel my hubby mentioned this and i thought of you knowing this was your neck of the woods. i am sorry to hear that.

rest up and feel better..xoxo


So sorry to hear about your friend

Hope you are feeling better soon

Thanks ladies!! I finally got some antibiotics and hopefully will be back in the gym on Monday (fingers crossed). The services for my friend are Tuesday and Wednesday this week, so I'm going to try to at least make it to the later wake on Tuesday night...still just so unfuckingbelievable:(

[stephaniewicked]

Melissa, I am so sorry to hear about your friend and colleague! My bro is NYPD, so my family and I worry about this kind of stuff all the time... terribly sad and tragic. May he rest in peace... :(

[Melissa]

Melissa, I am so sorry to hear about your friend and colleague! My bro is NYPD, so my family and I worry about this kind of stuff all the time... terribly sad and tragic. May he rest in peace... :(

Thanks, Steph:hugme:

[partsRheavy]

Sorry to hear about your colleague/friend! Also best wishes to get better soon!

[Melissa]

Sorry to hear about your colleague/friend! Also best wishes to get better soon!

Thank you so much:hugme:

[sweetjane57]

Well thank you!! It's really flattering to hear that when people can relate to what I write. It's such a great feeling to be able to connect like that. And I know it doesn't always mean much coming from an outsider, but I think whatever work you're putting in doing you fantastic. I love your physique, and I really hope that girls with more streamlied physiques start to be the norm. Certainly would be good for us!! And fwiw, I'm also so impressed with your ventures in powerlifting. If you attack that the same way you do bb, you're going to be incredibly successful, especially with so much support in your corner!!:hugme:
was all smiles reading this, thank you:)


but then I read this.....


However, in reality my offseason and this cold of mine are now the last things on my mind. In the midst of my coughing and moaning and groaning yesterday, I got a call no person in law enforcement ever wants to get. A friend of mine who works for one of our local police agencies (one that my department works very closely with) was shot in the head and killed in the line of duty yesterday afternoon. I can barely write this without getting a little choked up. It still doesn't seem real. Writing it makes it seem so final and absolute. It's such a scary reality check of what's out there and what can happen at any point in time. When you work in law enforcement, it's pretty typical hear about the statistics of the cops who get assaulted or killed in the line of duty. And while it's always a sad reminder to hear that kind of news, when one of your friends becomes that statistic, it's an overwhelming feeling that weighs heavily on your heart and your mind, one that can't really be expressed in words. I have a lot of close friends at this agency, too. And by close, I mean guys I talk to on an almost daily basis. Have hung out with outside of work. This is just way too close to home. So, for anyone that reads my journal, please keep this officer and his family and all other law enforcment in your thoughts and prayers. Remember, these people put their lives on the line every day when they go to work in order to protect you and your families. RIP #22

SOOOOO sorry for your loss, Sister! It is quite a shame how scary being in Law Enforcement is these days. This is happening alot, everywhere. Chicago is pretty bad right now. I will keep you and your friend in my thought and prayers.

[Melissa]

Thank you so much, Nat. I'm sorry to hear that about Chicago...my home town, too:( I also think people forget that CO's put their lives in jeopardy every time they go to work, too. I mean, as a cop, you don't know what you're dealing with any time you roll up on a call. As a CO, every day you go to work, you're garaunteed to deal with criminals. Same thing for us. It sure is a sad reminder that it can happen to any of us at any given time. Stay safe, girl.

[Melissa]

So, my week/weekend from hell is finally just about over. Friday's horrific news is starting to sink in, and my flu seems to be on its way out. I can finally breathe and taste food again, sort of. Last night, I had my cheat meal, which I figured would be ok since I didn't eat much over the course of four days or so and lost two pounds, something that NEVER happens in the offseason. But I couldn't taste my burger or my ice cream....TRAGIC. And yes, I am back down to 148. I want to be happy about losing a couple pounds while being sick, but I can't help but think it's setting back my progress. But let's be serious, I have a few pounds of fluff to spare, so I'm pretty sure I'm making a big deal out of nothing, as usual.

Anyway, today was my first day back in the gym, and I decided to train legs. I know, legs after the flu? But what can I say? Mondays are my leg days, so that's what I'm gonna do. I made sure to take it easy, and I mean, legitimately easy. In my old age, I'm quickly learning how to do that properly, too. I pushed myself just enough. I probably won't be sore tomorrow, but I also probably won't wake up feeling like death again, so it's win-win as far as I'm concerned. I got the blood pumping again, a good sweat going, that was all I needed to do. I have noticed some scary knee pain that's come up the last two times I trained quads. It's a sharp pain right behind my left patella, feeling like it's going to tear right off (amazingly enough, the same leg with the injured hamstring:hypno:). It happens when I do squats, presses, and hacks....yeah, pretty much every major quad exercise. Neato. Knowing very little about the body, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I think it might be some tendonitis. Probably yet another side effect of compensating for that bullshit hamstring crap. So I resort to my usual remedy...ice. I ice everything. Probably stuff I shouldn't ice, I put ice on. Whatever, it reduces inflammation, right? I wonder if I put ice on my fat butt, would it reduce the size of that, too?

[2hot4u]

I am not sure about the ice on the butt helping it be smaller but if it works please let me know!!! I love following your journal. Have fun at the Arnold and keep pushing along it will pay off in the end. :yep:

p.s. sorry about your friend. My hubby is a firefighter and think about this at times too.

[Sunnyday]

Hey, Melissa. Just catching up after my own round of illness. Hope you're on the mend yourself with illness and injury. So sorry to hear about your friend!

[Michelle Brent]

Hey M- Sorry to here about your friend, i used to go out with a police officer for 6 years in Calif, so I can kind of relate!.
Get better you have some kind of contest coming up, i think it's called the USA? ;)
Thanks for sending your music! working on it and it already kicks butt!!:yep:
Have fun at the Arnold and we'll get together soon!!
XXOO

[Michelle Brent]

p.s. got it done, now fine tuning and see if it will work for you!!!:yep::kiss:

[tammyp]

mel i know today is a hard day...thinking of you mama.

[M.E. Anders]

Just catching up on your journal here...my deepest sympathies are going out to you during this tough period.

[Melissa]

Wow, thank you all for your kind words and the support. I haven't been on here much in the past few days because things have just been so crazy. I attended the wake on Tuesday night, and it was just so sad. I was surprised that they did an open casket because he was shot in the head. My heart just breaks for all my friends over at the PD. I have a lot of good friends there, many from 10 years ago when I was a college intern there. Anyway, the funeral is today, and they're expecting seven to ten thousand people to go.

Overall, it's been an exhausting week, and I'm so ready for it to be over. Thank you all again for the kind words, and please keep Officer John Falcone and his family, both blood and in blue, in your prayers.

[stephaniewicked]

Hey woman... what a rough week that must have been. I can't even imagine! :( That's the good thing about Mondays... the beginning of a whole new week, and hopefully a much better one!!

So when do you fly out? So excited for next weekend... feel like I've been counting down for so long and now it's like "wow, it's here already!"

[Melissa]

Hey woman... what a rough week that must have been. I can't even imagine! :( That's the good thing about Mondays... the beginning of a whole new week, and hopefully a much better one!!

So when do you fly out? So excited for next weekend... feel like I've been counting down for so long and now it's like "wow, it's here already!"

Thanks mama:hmn: Yeah, I'm so glad last week is over and done with. But it's still one of those things that I can't seem to get out of my mind...sigh. Anyway, you're absolutely right, it's a new week with a fun weekend ahead of me!

Just a quick update on things. My weight finally stopped dropping, and I seemed to have leveled back out at 148. I wound up down to 147. Losing weight in the offseason is something that NEVER happens for me, so I did start to get a little worried. But I only did 3 days of cardio last week instead of my usual 5, and I tried to eat a little extra. Considering it was my first week back after being sick, my strength was really good. I was huffing and puffing like a little fat kid during my back workout on Saturday, though. But I think that's more due to me still trying to kick the rest of this germiness. Unfortunately, this week will be a fucked up week for training because of the Arnold, but I'm going to try to get in most of my workouts here before I leave and try to train at least once (probably on Friday) while in C-bus.

It's crazy to think that once I get back from the Arnold, I'll have just about a month until prep starts. Holy shit!! I kind of feel like I'm not going to be ready to start. I'm not 100% confident in my gains from the offseason. Not like I was last year or the year before. I almost feel kinda rushed, but I'm sure that's due largely in part to the fact that I've taken two year-long offseasons since switching to bb. I've gone back and forth between sticking with the plan for USA's and waiting until Nationals. I'm sure if I waited until Nats, I'd be bored as hell by freaking June and would probably have wished that I did USA's. Either way, I know how I am....I'll wonder "what if" no matter what way I decide to go. And really, who the fuck am I kidding? I already booked my hotel room for Vegas, and a lot of my really close friends are doing that show. I'll be on stage in July, bitches!!:yep:

[Michelle Brent]

dat be right!! stay da course!!!;) Have fun this weekend!! I wish I was going damn!!! Routine all done by the way!! :yep:

[Melissa]

dat be right!! stay da course!!!;) Have fun this weekend!! I wish I was going damn!!! Routine all done by the way!! :yep:

You're absolutely right, woman! Sometimes, well most times really, I doubt myself. And you'll be in Columbus with us in spirit this weekend.

I can't believe I forgot to mention that I got my mix a couple weeks ago. I freaking love it!! One of the college crew guys is a legit DJ, and he mashed it up for me. I've been feeling Jay Z lately, so I went with a few of his songs. I'll be reppping New York fo' sho' out in Vegas!!:p

[The Prodigy]

Can't wait to be there to support everyone! Its a fun show! You will love it!:yep:




You're absolutely right, woman! Sometimes, well most times really, I doubt myself. And you'll be in Columbus with us in spirit this weekend.

I can't believe I forgot to mention that I got my mix a couple weeks ago. I freaking love it!! One of the college crew guys is a legit DJ, and he mashed it up for me. I've been feeling Jay Z lately, so I went with a few of his songs. I'll be reppping New York fo' sho' out in Vegas!!:p

[Melissa]

Can't wait to be there to support everyone! Its a fun show! You will love it!:yep:

I thought you were doing USA's?

[Melissa]

Whoever thought that bodybuilders are less moody in the offseason than during prep has definitely never met me. One might think my last, pre-Arnold post on here would be full of excitement....just kidding. I don't know if someone pissed in my pre-workout shake or what, but damn a girl's in a cranky mood. I had a god awful shoulder and chest workout tonight. And by god awful, I mean I couldn't even match my weights from last week. I even pulled back on some of the weights to try and get to the rep range I wanted, and still no luck. I can't even say that I had aches and pains or anything like that. I just had NO strength. Plus, no matter what I did, I couldn't get my head into the workout. And poor Clarkey. His ears must be bleeding after tonight. I'm pretty sure I bitched about EVERYTHING throughout the entire workout....from how fat I am, to how weak I was feeling, to the fact that I still needed to start packing for this weekend, and the list just goes on.

It's like once I get into this negative space, it's a downward spiral. Usually there is little anyone can say to me to pull me out of it. And in all honesty, there's nothing that's truly wrong. I mean, 12 hours ago, I was in a great mood and really looking forward to this weekend. Now I'm frustrated and exhausted and feeling like the missed workouts from this upcoming weekend are really going to set me back. Plus, I'm one of the few offseason girls that will be at the booth, and that's never a good thing for my psyche. I don't care what anyone says, it's tough to be in full swing offseason and be standing next to a bunch of girls in contest shape or prep mode. Oh well, I'm sure my attitude will improve by tomorrow morning. I can't wait to hang with my crew and see all my friends that I don't normally get to see except for at shows. It would be rediculous of me to let tonight's pissy-ness carry into a weekend that I've been looking forward to for weeks. To all who are going to be in Columbus this weekend, here's wishing you safe travels and once you're there, make sure you stop by the Species booth!! Catch you all on the flip;)

[Sunnyday]

Hey, Melissa. Hoping you have a great time this weekend, and that the travel time puts you in a better frame of mind. Wish I could get there to meet all you gals but not this time around.

[The Prodigy]

I thought you were doing USA's?

Nope! But I will be at the booth hopefully!!!:flowers:

[Melissa]

Hey, Melissa. Hoping you have a great time this weekend, and that the travel time puts you in a better frame of mind. Wish I could get there to meet all you gals but not this time around.

Thanks, sweetie!! Fortunately, I am in a much better mood this morning. Just finished a good back workout and now doing a little cardio before I go home to finish packing. I think I just needed to have a little redeeming workout before leaving for the weekend. Unfortunately, I woke up this morning only to find that my weight shot up to 152...wtf? Oh well, nothing I can do about that now. I have most of my meals packed for the weekend, so I'll just make sure to keep things as close to plan as possible.

[LisaRD23]

Gald you're in a better mood today:) Some time away from the "normal routine" will probally be good for you. Have a good weeken & travel safe!

[Melissa]

Gald you're in a better mood today:) Some time away from the "normal routine" will probally be good for you. Have a good weeken & travel safe!

Thanks, girl!! You're probably right.

So, I'm in the airport waiting to board now, and it's already been a weirdo trip. Airport security tore my carry-on bag apart because my dumbass forgot that I had a switchblade knife in my purse that I always carry as a "just in case." Go me. Can you tell that I never travel? Good thing I got here early because that wasted almost 30 minutes lol. As if that wasn't weird enough, I ran into one of my probationers who icompletely forgotten I had allowed to travel to his vacation home this weekend. I'm all scrubbed out in my Species sweats looking a hot mess, too...neato. So yeah, it's been interesting so far, and I haven't even left NY!!

[Melissa]

And I'm in the airport yet again. Another Arnold weekend over and done with, and what an amazing time. As usual, I got to meet some great new friends, hang with some wwho I only get to see a couple times a year, and of course get into a little trouble with my crew. I'm definitely a little tattered and worn, but it was well worth every single minute. Once I land and get some good sleep in me, I'll be back in here with more details from the weekend. But for now, it's time for me to survive the flight home.

[stephaniewicked]

Hope you get home okay! I was able to catch an earlier flight that wasn't very packed at all, so it was nice... plus, Jess was on that flight so we got to sit together!

Awesome weekend, so glad we got to catch up! Sorry we didn't hang too much last night, but we were having fun... hope you guys were too! ;)

The worst part of the whole weekend is that I came home to rain... freakin' rain! I'm so sick of the damn rain!!!

[Melissa]

Hope you get home okay! I was able to catch an earlier flight that wasn't very packed at all, so it was nice... plus, Jess was on that flight so we got to sit together!

Awesome weekend, so glad we got to catch up! Sorry we didn't hang too much last night, but we were having fun... hope you guys were too! ;)

The worst part of the whole weekend is that I came home to rain... freakin' rain! I'm so sick of the damn rain!!!

Thanks, mama! It was a little bit of a rough go getting home, but I finally made it and only an hour or so later than I should have, which is much better than I can say for some of our other friends.

It was great to be able to chat with you and Jess for a while, too. Saturday night was a bit of a clusterfuck for us trying to get everyone together and organized lol. And then once I got a couple of drinks in me, it was all over (in a good way:p).

So I don't even know where to begin with this past weekend. It was seriously just so much fun. Having worked the booth last year, I was much better prepared for the exhaustion that comes from the long days and lack of sleep, so that didn't hit me too hard. I was hoping to have gotten at least one workout in while I was out there on Friday night, but after wandering around Columbus for a while in the rain trying to find MetroFlex, we decided that getting food was a much more enjoyable option. Fortunately, I stayed on track with my eating all weekend, and the weight gain that I saw on Thursday morning was gone by yesterday, as I was back down to 148 again.

The Species booth was great this year. I made some new friends and got to hang out and catch up with some old ones. I had a blast amusing Tammy with my rude and bitchy comments about the people waiting in a long ass line for stupid EAS bars and that were blocking our booth. And then goofing around with Nicole, Tiani, Diego, Gail, Bonnie, Steve and Heather, and of course my big bro, Rob. Since I was pretty much just selling product, I didn't get much of a chance to be over and hang with my other "Species Athlete" friends who were signing photos on the other side, but I did get some time to goof around with PJ, Monique, Nicole, Juan, Kat, and Cody. Overall, it was just a blast, and as usual, Joel managed to pull things together amazingly well.

I'd like to say I behaved myself the entire weekend, but I did make my way to the afterparty on Saturday night and enjoyed myself a couple of drinks. Nothing too crazy, but enough that I was not a happy camper in the morning:p I will say that my little crew helped make this weekend unforgetable. I'm so lucky to have such a great group of friends in this sport who are always there through good and bad. I know they're the friends who will always be in my life:flowers:

On a training note, I'm happy to say that this weekend served it's purpose....I'm fired up as hell to get things rolling for USA's. I have just over a month left of the offseason, and I'm going to make the absolute most out of it. I came back with a vengence training quads yesterday. And even though my poor leggies and feetsies were so tired from the weekend of standing behind the booth, I got a great quad workout in. My legs are sore to the touch today. Then I was up at 4:45 this morning to make sure I got arms in, since I missed them on Sunday. At this point, I have a one track mind for the next 20 weeks and that's the USA's. Do yourself a favor and don't get in the way;)

[tammyp]

i think we should be able to get a massage post show and send the reciept off to joel so he can use it as an expense! damn my feet and legs are still fried! idk how those girls sport those heels!

this year was wayyy more fun! we had a great group this year and all worked amazingly well together. i love species products, but the species fam is the cherry on top. xoxox u melissa:) no homo

[The Prodigy]

i think we should be able to get a massage post show and send the reciept off to joel so he can use it as an expense! damn my feet and legs are still fried! idk how those girls sport those heels!

this year was wayyy more fun! we had a great group this year and all worked amazingly well together. i love species products, but the species fam is the cherry on top. xoxox u melissa:) no homo

I second that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love my species family!!!!!!:hmn:

It was great meeting everyone this weekend!

[Michelle Brent]

So glad ya'll had fun without me!!;) From the pix I saw everybody looked great and loved that camo theme!
Well Melly Mel whenever you want to get together let me know. Jillian had a good fix and said we can met at her gym since it would be half way for both of us and she has run of her gym so no problem. I even got my routine done in between and if ya know anybody else that needs help!! I'm ready to bust some more moves! :jump:
Keep that fire burning it helps me to keep mine going seeing you ladies here share the pain!!! Hurts so good!:yep:

[Melissa]

i think we should be able to get a massage post show and send the reciept off to joel so he can use it as an expense! damn my feet and legs are still fried! idk how those girls sport those heels!

this year was wayyy more fun! we had a great group this year and all worked amazingly well together. i love species products, but the species fam is the cherry on top. xoxox u melissa:) no homo

LMAO, I agree...let's run that by him and see how well that goes over for next year. I had more fun this year, too. Makes me really look forward to working the shows as the year goes on.


I second that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love my species family!!!!!!:hmn:

It was great meeting everyone this weekend!

Agreed, Gail!!!


So glad ya'll had fun without me!!;) From the pix I saw everybody looked great and loved that camo theme!
Well Melly Mel whenever you want to get together let me know. Jillian had a good fix and said we can met at her gym since it would be half way for both of us and she has run of her gym so no problem. I even got my routine done in between and if ya know anybody else that needs help!! I'm ready to bust some more moves! :jump:
Keep that fire burning it helps me to keep mine going seeing you ladies here share the pain!!! Hurts so good!:yep:

You were definitely there in spirit girl!! And it's ON with this routine....I can't wait to see what you put together. The more I listen to my music, the more excited I get to perform to it. Glad you working on mine also got yours done too lol. BTW, I love that song that you're using!!


Ok, so first full week back post AC and amazingly enough, I have had some seriously killer workouts this week. As exhausted as I've been from that weekend (and still can't seem to get caught up on sleep), my time in the gym has been exceptionally productive. As much as I was looking forward to the Arnold, I'm glad it's over because I'm much more focused on what I need to do for July now. It seems like the same attitude I had last year is creeping back into my world again, and I'm going to take it and run with it. My strength has been fantastic this week despite my lack of sleep. I'm just hoping to get caught up on rest so that this deficit doesn't creep up on me and smack me right back down.

As of right now, my plan is to train my usual split for the next 3 weeks and maximize the rest of my offseason. Then, for the final week of the offseason, I'm going to pull all my cardio and only train 3 days that week, making sure I hit all body parts. I feel like this will give me a solid active rest period, so that my body is ready to roll for prep. I've never done anything like this before because I was always too scared, but this idea crossed my mind after I was forced to take time away from training when I was sick. After coming back from that and actually feeling better in the gym, I figured why not really make it work for me and do that the week before prep when I'm not sick.

If there's one major lesson that I've learned this offseason it's certainly the importance of resting. Sure, I've always known the whole "you grow when you rest" cliche. But this offseason has really been about maintaining my body's longevity in this sport, and to do that, I need to listen to my body and actually take time to recover. While I'm still new to bodybuilding, I'm not new to hitting the weights hard....I've been doing that since I was 16, and now I'm 30, so you do the math. Not to mention the years of competitive sports prior to that. Anyway, I realize that I can no longer train with my "retard strength"....that only lands me with more injuries than you can shake a stick at and minimal progress. No thank you.

I have no idea what this contest prep will bring for me, but I do know that I will be better than I was when I stepped on stage at Nationals last year. I garauntee that. Will it be good enough to land me in a spot that I'll be happy with? I don't know. But I can garauntee that I won't leave any stone unturned on my road to the USA's. And with the support that I continue to have in my corner from all my friends and my training partner, I know they'll be right behind me to make sure any stones I do miss get picked up, too.

[Melissa]

A little self-reflection...

This actually stems from a post someone made on one of my pictures on facebook. It's so random and was such a benign comment, but it sparked something that really made me think and put things into perspective. The jist of the conversation was about how hard she could tell I'd been working over the past couple of years (since it had been that long since we'd really seen eachother). And it made me realize just how far I've come since switching from figure to bb and all that I've put in to make that switch a successful one. In fact, stepping back and looking at it all is quite the ego boost for me, to be completely honest. In 2008, I had an idea in my head of how I wanted to look as a figure girl turned fbb, and I have slowly watched that transformation come to light over the past two years (hopefully with still more to come). Now, in a way, two years seems like a long time. But if I'm perfectly candid with myself, the fact of the matter is that I really have come so far in just two years in terms of my physique, and it kind of amazes me that I followed through on everything I said I would so far, and then some. Yes, I still have more planned for myself, but hell, I'm pretty damn proud of what I've done in the past two years.

Now, I've only talked about the changes to my physique here. I can also look back over the past two years and see the same drastic changes to my psyche and my attitude. While I had an image in my head of the physical progress I'd hoped to make, that was also accompanied by a desired concept for improved attitude and mental strength. I always knew I would reach the physical goals along the way, but there were so many times when I thought I'd never even come close to reaching the psychological ones. And let's be honest, the latter are probably more imporant and have a huge impact on the former. I know I've mentioned some of this before, but I battled a ton of personal demons over the past two years. And I'm sure it will continue for quite a while, too, since I think new ones can crop up at any time and certain old ones sometimes seem to simmer on the back burner forever. Rarely are they ever an easy thing to face, much less really, truly deal with and overcome. Yet, I have somehow managed to do just that. And it has made all the difference in the world in just about every aspect of my life. So that, along with what I've accomplished physically, is something that I hold very close to myself.

Amazing how one small, innocuous comment can spur a thought process like that. Ehh, what can I say, I'm a thinker. I guess my point is that every once in a while you really do need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. And I'm not just talking about comparing progress pictures from year to year. Literally look at the BIG picture. Now, if only we could capture the mental evolution we go through in the same way...

[Michelle Brent]

Very good post and htis is how I've approached it and I know it's why I have stayed competitve all these years! It's so much more then the reflection we see in the mirror but the glass we look through to get where we need to be!
Have a good week Mel!!!

[Sunnyday]

Great post, Melissa.

[M.E. Anders]

Melissa - I agree with you on the resting-to-grow protocol. I'm also relatively new to lifting, and I've had to learn to pace myself from hard-hitting days to relaxing on "off-days." The results speak for themselves.

[Melissa]

Very good post and htis is how I've approached it and I know it's why I have stayed competitve all these years! It's so much more then the reflection we see in the mirror but the glass we look through to get where we need to be!
Have a good week Mel!!!

Michelle, you're SO right!! And I truly believe that the psychological aspect of things is what truly makes the athlete, and you're a true testament to that with all your amazing years in this sport. xoxo


Great post, Melissa.

Thanks, Sunny!!!:hugme:


Melissa - I agree with you on the resting-to-grow protocol. I'm also relatively new to lifting, and I've had to learn to pace myself from hard-hitting days to relaxing on "off-days." The results speak for themselves.

This has been an incredibly difficult concept for me to grasp, but it seems that injuries and the like have forced me to learn how to do this. And even still, it's something that I'm still trying to get better at. If there were any advice I could give to someone just starting to work out or compete, it's to 1)make sure you warm up REALLY well before you start training and 2) REST....I failed to do both of those things during my early training days, and I can tell I'm paying the price for it now (and I'm still a baby in the sport of bb!).

[Cdimeo]

Your reflections are motivating--I have such a hard time resting no matter what the day or reason is. I have to bribe myself with some kind of reward to find time/space to rest--both physically and psychologically. Many of us (and "civilians" as well) don't take the time to realize what mental stress we undergo year-round.

Lately my rest comes from working so hard I drop. And I hardly consider this "rest" LOL.

BTW-you looked fabulous last season--I saw pix from the Eastern-- and I look forward to following you this season :)

[LisaRD23]

This has been an incredibly difficult concept for me to grasp, but it seems that injuries and the like have forced me to learn how to do this. And even still, it's something that I'm still trying to get better at. If there were any advice I could give to someone just starting to work out or compete, it's to 1)make sure you warm up REALLY well before you start training and 2) REST....I failed to do both of those things during my early training days, and I can tell I'm paying the price for it now (and I'm still a baby in the sport of bb!).

I still struggle to do these things. When I get to the gym after work all I want to do is hit it hard, and then give myself enough time to get home and take care of all the things for the next day. it's so easy to talk yourself out of a warm up. Rest...rest is almost a joke! I don't sit down untill almost 9:30 and give myself less than 1hr each night to unwind and rest. I force myself to try to make up for it on the weekends, but that doesn't allways go over so well either.

[Melissa]

Your reflections are motivating--I have such a hard time resting no matter what the day or reason is. I have to bribe myself with some kind of reward to find time/space to rest--both physically and psychologically. Many of us (and "civilians" as well) don't take the time to realize what mental stress we undergo year-round.

Lately my rest comes from working so hard I drop. And I hardly consider this "rest" LOL.

BTW-you looked fabulous last season--I saw pix from the Eastern-- and I look forward to following you this season :)

Wow, thank you so much for the nice words!! I can't say it enough, but I'm really glad that people find my writing interesting nevermind motivating or inspiring. I literally write things as they swirl around in my head....and swirl around they do!

And thank you for the compliments on my showing last year. I fully intend on making even more of an impact this year at USA's. The judges will have no option but to reward me for my improvements;)


I still struggle to do these things. When I get to the gym after work all I want to do is hit it hard, and then give myself enough time to get home and take care of all the things for the next day. it's so easy to talk yourself out of a warm up. Rest...rest is almost a joke! I don't sit down untill almost 9:30 and give myself less than 1hr each night to unwind and rest. I force myself to try to make up for it on the weekends, but that doesn't allways go over so well either.

Girl, I still do those same things. When I get into the gym, I'm all business. Probably so much so that most people think I'm not having fun. But for me, my "serious" face is really a very good thing. It's literally two hours out of my day where I'm NOT thinking. Where I can completely block out anything else that's going on around me. Plus, when I was just starting to lift at 16 years old, I never thought twice about the impact not warming up would have on my 30 year old joints and tendons. And winding down at night? WTF is that? I literally walk in the door at 8:30, prep my crap for the next day, make my dinner, and then hit the sack. Like M.E. Anders, I don't fall asleep, I pass the fuck out lol.

[Cdimeo]

The judges will have no option but to reward me for my improvementsWell said! Love your confidence! I jumped into competing last year and did 4 shows-- though only 2 NPC because I wasn't sure I was ready. I qualified for nationals so I'm going to try out WPD at JR Nats. I'm kinda going in blind b/c not only do I know what the division will look like--but neither am I sure what I will look like this season. I feel like I've made some major improvements to my legs & glutes but one never know until it surfaces from behind the sheath LOL

And btw-I totally hear you on the 30-year old joints. It's even worse when you're prepping and packing for two small kids too. I start thinking about my bed when the alarm goes off at 4am sometimes.

[Melissa]

Well said! Love your confidence! I jumped into competing last year and did 4 shows-- though only 2 NPC because I wasn't sure I was ready. I qualified for nationals so I'm going to try out WPD at JR Nats. I'm kinda going in blind b/c not only do I know what the division will look like--but neither am I sure what I will look like this season. I feel like I've made some major improvements to my legs & glutes but one never know until it surfaces from behind the sheath LOL

And btw-I totally hear you on the 30-year old joints. It's even worse when you're prepping and packing for two small kids too. I start thinking about my bed when the alarm goes off at 4am sometimes.

Thanks, girl! I need to repeat it over and over to myself so that I believe it by the time I get on stage on July 30th lol. Good luck in your first prep for the WPD...I'll be following along in your journal as well.


Ok, so I'm at work and REALLY should be using this down time to catch up on paperwork, but it's Friday, and I can't concentrate worth a damn. So, instead, I'm here....rambling. This past week was another great week of training, as I still try to eek out the last bit of strength increases that I can during this offseason. After last year, I realize that I can continue to see small strength increases during the early part of my prep, but it's still not the same as what I get offseason. Of course, this year will be a whole new learning experience for me in general with a new coach who has an entirely different approach to contest prep. That change, in and of itself, leaves me with quite a bit of anxiety (knowing how much I just loooove change). But after a couple of months of working together through the latter part of my offseason, PJ and I seem to be on the same page and have begun to develop a great approach of working together towards my goals....which certainly eases my batshit crazy mind a little bit. As much as I am a HUGE proponent of not playing Duck, Duck, Coach, this was an opportunity I just couldn't pass up and felt that a little change might be good to keep things fresh on my end. While my old approach certainly worked well for me, and even though I firmly believe in the adage "if it ain't broke, don't fix it," the old approach was on it's way to being broken if, in fact, it wasn't already.

On another note, my appetite continues to be off the hook lately, and I can't seem to get that inner fat fuck to shut the hell up! Part of me thinks, "well, there's only three more weeks left of offseason, so eat up while you can." But the other part of me says, "you're just going to make yourself fatter and make prep more difficult in the long run." I've also been getting cravings, and those are something I rarely ever get in the offseason because I usually eat enough food to keep them at bay. But lately, I've been obsessing over IHOP. I haven't had anything from there for my cheat meals all offseason, so I'm thinking that's going to be my stop for this weekend. Mmmmm, just thinking about their cheesecake pancakes is making me more hungry...nom nom nom.

In non-training related news, things are starting to pick up for my friend's wedding in May. My bridesmaid dress is in, and I eventually have to go get fitted for alterations. But since the wedding is 8 weeks in to my diet, there's pretty much no point in doing that until early May. That poor seamstress is going to hate me! I also just got my shoes, which I love. In typical Melissa fashion, I just had to be obnoxiously different. So I made sure to get super-high, 4 and a half inch stiletto heels (from what I gather, the rest of the bridesmaids were much more conservative in their pics:dunno:). The bride wanted us all to do different shoes, as long as they're all in approximately the same color. The shower is quickly approaching on April 9th (the day before I start prep). And I just got the wedding invite in the mail yesterday. Lately, I've been a little tired of all the weddings, but being that she's such a good friend, and I really love her fiance, I'm starting to get really excited to be able to be a part of her big day. No plans have been made yet for the bachelorette party, but I'm pretty sure it'll be somewhat low key (hopefully).

Now that I've wasted almost an hour of the county's time talking nonsense, I should probably get back to being a productive government employee:p

[Sunnyday]

Melissa, as I've followed your thread for nearly a year now, I'm wondering whether you've ever thought about writing a book - seriously...?

[Melissa]

Melissa, as I've followed your thread for nearly a year now, I'm wondering whether you've ever thought about writing a book - seriously...?

Wow, I'm really flattered that you have even been following my craziness for that long much less think that what I write is book-worthy!! I actually kinda chuckled to myself as I read this because I can't even fathom that. So, I guess to answer your question, in all honesty it never crossed my mind. I do enjoy writing, but what I write is literally all gybberish that I'm normally thinking about and just write as it comes into my head. It's truly pure freewriting. I wouldn't have any idea how to go about writing a book. But I would be interested to hear anyone's thoughts.

[LisaRD23]

Easy- - you get someone to write the book for you. Do you really think all these nonsense "fake" celebs actually sit and write up a book? Nope you can just sit down, speak out your thoughts and someone can write it for you. Don't even know what would be involved in that...but it can be done:)

For your friends bachelorette party there are so many low key, but fun things you can do. Especially in NYC. For mine, a group of 7 of us took a private pole dancing class. We bought Boas, wore those wonder stripper heels (yeah the competition type :p) we had a BLAST!! After wards we went dancing and then called it a night. Although just the class really would have been fun enough. The studio is Shockra, it's on East 28th Street.

[Sunnyday]

x2! With the right team behind you, I think it would be a hit! Could inspire more women to take up bbing as a hobby or even compete...never a bad thing to have more women enter this sport at any level.

[Melissa]

Easy- - you get someone to write the book for you. Do you really think all these nonsense "fake" celebs actually sit and write up a book? Nope you can just sit down, speak out your thoughts and someone can write it for you. Don't even know what would be involved in that...but it can be done:)

For your friends bachelorette party there are so many low key, but fun things you can do. Especially in NYC. For mine, a group of 7 of us took a private pole dancing class. We bought Boas, wore those wonder stripper heels (yeah the competition type :p) we had a BLAST!! After wards we went dancing and then called it a night. Although just the class really would have been fun enough. The studio is Shockra, it's on East 28th Street.

The key word is celebs, lol. But maybe you're on to something, we'll see:p As for the bachelorette party, even a pole dancing class would be a little much for me...I gots no swagger hahaha I'm hoping for something more along the lines of a spa day or a really nice dinner/drinks with the girls.


x2! With the right team behind you, I think it would be a hit! Could inspire more women to take up bbing as a hobby or even compete...never a bad thing to have more women enter this sport at any level.

You're right, there are definitely benefits to doing something like this. Maybe it is worth considering...

[LisaRD23]

There's a resutant in the city that hosts nice bridal/bachelorette parties. You can have a group as small as 4. My cousin had her's there. I was about 3 weeks out and couldn't deal with a late night and seeing everyine drink & eat infront of me so I didn't go.......but I heard it was great, they had a "themed" dinner and some pary games for the bride. I'll try to find out the name if you're interested in checking it out.

[Sunnyday]

Spa day gets my vote! Much easier to stay on point with diet and similtaneously minimize your stress level when you're at the spa!

[Melissa]

There's a resutant in the city that hosts nice bridal/bachelorette parties. You can have a group as small as 4. My cousin had her's there. I was about 3 weeks out and couldn't deal with a late night and seeing everyine drink & eat infront of me so I didn't go.......but I heard it was great, they had a "themed" dinner and some pary games for the bride. I'll try to find out the name if you're interested in checking it out.

Oooo, that does sound pretty cool. I think we're going to be further upstate though for the bachelorette party. The bride lives in Albany, and most of the other girls in the wedding party are from around there or even farther north where she's originally from, Mayfield. Talk about the sticks!! lol


Spa day gets my vote! Much easier to stay on point with diet and similtaneously minimize your stress level when you're at the spa!

Girl, you must be reading my mind with this one!!!


Ok, so I need to straight up bitch tonight. It's beyond just venting because I'm in one foul-ass mother fucking mood. And here's your forewarning....this entry will probably need a Parental Advisory sticker attached to it for explicit language because I'm feeling exceptionally spicy tonight, and I'm really feeling the f-bombs.

With two weeks left of the offseason, I've officially had it with everything offseason. I'm tired of how my clothes fit, or rather don't fit. I'm sick of hearing my mirror go "MOOOOO" every time I walk by. My poor scale screams for mercy every time I step on it. I feel like I have the mother fucking Rock of Gibralter in my stomach every day lately, too. My digestive issues have been absolutely off the charts for the past week and a half, and I'm so distended that it looks like I'm about to give birth to a small alien any day now. Yes, believe it or not, I'm even sick of the cheat meals. I feel like complete and utter crap after I eat them, whether I go overboard with them or not. Sure, my contest prep brings it's own digestive issues with it, but fuck, at least then you can see my abs, so it's not quite as disgusting. Someone's going to probably want to mark this particular post and bring it back up when I'm about 8 weeks into my diet just to remind me where my head was once at.

There's also been a time issue for me lately. And the issue is that I don't have enough of it. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions. Honestly, there are days when I want to tell everyone to go fuck themselves and turn off any phone that people can reach me at. I have probationers leaving me 5 messages in a day about the same issue....seriously??!! One message is enough. I'll call you back when I get a chance. YOUR failure to plan or do the right thing does NOT make it my emergency, so just pump your motherfucking brakes. The weekends that were once my time to catch up on rest and sleep seem to be filled with I don't know what....but it's anything but rest or sleep. Plus, I feel like I have friends that I haven't spoken to in ages and have no idea what's going on with them, but the last thing I want to do when I get home some nights is bother with the phone....so if you're one of those friends and you're reading this, I'M SORRY:hugme: I distinctly remember feeling like this during the early part of my prep last year, and if I remember correctly, by about 8 weeks or so into the diet, I was able to have some calm. I'm hoping that once my friend's wedding is over, this will be the case for me....fingers and toes crossed.

I'm also getting that overwhelmed feeling when I think of the things I need to get in order for prep. I've already gotten my NPC card and booked my hotel room for the show. I also ordered my suits, too. But I still need to register for the show and book my flight....uuuuggggghhh, the flight. That thing is going to cost me an arm and a leg. Honestly, I have no fucking clue how I'm going to manage to pay for that, which only makes the stress of booking that much worse. Oh yeah, and I have to learn my night routine and my pre j routine. I know, I know, I'm sure everyone is thinking there's plenty of time, but let me tell you, not in my world there's not. I think someone steals minutes from my day over the course of the year, so that I ultimately wind up coming up short probably an entire week or so. That must be it.

Phew, ok, so I guess I feel a little better now. I tell ya, it's a good thing I'm a fast typer because my thoughts come out a mile a minute. I know when I go back and read my posts sometimes, I can tell that you can almost *hear* the anxiety in my voice. Sheesh, I almost sound manic sometimes....hahaha, awesome. As if I wasn't crazy enough. Maybe NOW I'll be able to get to bed tonight since I emptied out 1/16th of my pea brain in this post.

[johnnylax]

'toga :)

[tammyp]

melissa your posts always entertain me so....and yes, im afraid at your expense...you have such a way about you, the way you say things...i can see you standing in front of me saying all this stuff! ok now that i have poked fun....

i hear you on the food thing..i was so happy to get on diet and have been totally calm and content with it...mind you im 12 weeks out...so i have a while to go, but idk what id do wo the structure to look forward to. i would be a total fat ass!

hang in there..and book flight soon...i saw they are only going up!

[Cdimeo]

you are so funny! Here's a good one--my husband put in mirrors and overhead lighting in my bedroom for me so that I'd have a 'posing area,' which on first suggestion sounded great. Yeah-great until the scale reached an all time high-every outfit I put on makes me look like a stuffed sausage or a cheap prostitute, my ass has taken on its own zipcode and my legs resemble hambones from the old Tom & Jerry episodes.

WTF? Not to mention that the lighting is so perfect that it shows every bump and with a lack of tan somedays I look beastly. I never realized I was so big LOL.

[Sunnyday]

OK, ladies. On reading these last posts, it made me wish we all lived closer to each other and could just say f-off to the rest of the world, all of us take a day off from our lives and meet up at the spa for a day of hanging out with like-minded peeps (with prep-friendly food, of course!).

[tammyp]

^im all for that!

[Suzanne]

you are so funny! Here's a good one--my husband put in mirrors and overhead lighting in my bedroom for me so that I'd have a 'posing area,' which on first suggestion sounded great. Yeah-great until the scale reached an all time high-every outfit I put on makes me look like a stuffed sausage or a cheap prostitute, my ass has taken on its own zipcode and my legs resemble hambones from the old Tom & Jerry episodes.

WTF? Not to mention that the lighting is so perfect that it shows every bump and with a lack of tan somedays I look beastly. I never realized I was so big LOL.

I wish i felt that i feel small but fat

[Melissa]

melissa your posts always entertain me so....and yes, im afraid at your expense...you have such a way about you, the way you say things...i can see you standing in front of me saying all this stuff! ok now that i have poked fun....

i hear you on the food thing..i was so happy to get on diet and have been totally calm and content with it...mind you im 12 weeks out...so i have a while to go, but idk what id do wo the structure to look forward to. i would be a total fat ass!

hang in there..and book flight soon...i saw they are only going up!

Afraid at my expense??? That's no bueno:p And please, Tam, you should know that I write just like I talk...incredibly melodramatic:yep: Even with the structure that I try to keep in my offseason, some scatteredness invevitably sneaks its way in. So yeah, I need the militant nature of prep to get my shit together or I'm gonna go downhill real quick!


you are so funny! Here's a good one--my husband put in mirrors and overhead lighting in my bedroom for me so that I'd have a 'posing area,' which on first suggestion sounded great. Yeah-great until the scale reached an all time high-every outfit I put on makes me look like a stuffed sausage or a cheap prostitute, my ass has taken on its own zipcode and my legs resemble hambones from the old Tom & Jerry episodes.

WTF? Not to mention that the lighting is so perfect that it shows every bump and with a lack of tan somedays I look beastly. I never realized I was so big LOL.

LOL, thanks! I try to poke fun at myself when I'm in a crappy mood like that....I figure I'll beat people to the punch that way. Then they can laugh WITH me instead of AT me;) I would love to have a posing area set up like that in my apartment. Good way to stay on top of things and always be real with myself.


OK, ladies. On reading these last posts, it made me wish we all lived closer to each other and could just say f-off to the rest of the world, all of us take a day off from our lives and meet up at the spa for a day of hanging out with like-minded peeps (with prep-friendly food, of course!).

Sunny, I'm really liking the way you think, girl!! I would love to give a big fat middle finger (and it is actually kinda fat this offseason:p) to the world for a day and just hibernate at a spa.


I wish i felt that i feel small but fat

Suze, I'm feeling you 100% on this. I feel small and fat, too. Until I stand next to my non bodybuilding friends, then I just feel big and fat. If it makes you feel any better, my weight is at 151 now, and my conditioning is a little less than yours. I know exactly how you're feeling....frustrated, aggravated, and wondering what the hell you're doing this all for. But we have the same goal on the same date this year, girl. THAT'S what we're doing it for. Because we love this sport and wouldn't have it any other way.

[janet kaufman]

Hi there girl! I have been catching up on your post. I too like how you write.I hate being so far away from everyone and don't get out here to post as much as I would like but know I think about you and the other Species gals often. I have the fat small thing going on. Hang in there you will look awesome!

[stephaniewicked]

OK, ladies. On reading these last posts, it made me wish we all lived closer to each other and could just say f-off to the rest of the world, all of us take a day off from our lives and meet up at the spa for a day of hanging out with like-minded peeps (with prep-friendly food, of course!).

Seriously!!! I don't know what I would do without all you ladies, especially when I'm freaking the F out. Melissa, I swear... I know I say this alot but I really think you're like my long-lost half sister or something. I could HEAR you typing and talking because it's exactly how I talk when I'm going through similar feelings. As usual, thank you for helping me to feel completely normal!

On the other hand though, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I don't even know what I could say to be helpful because it would make me such a hypocrite. I hate when people tell me "calm down", "relax", "it will be okay!" Shut up! What does anyone else know??? lol. It's okay when *I* say it's okay and not a moment sooner! :p

Dude, flights are friggin' insane. I didn't book mine to Jr USAs yet and I've been tracking the prices for over a week now and it is SO effin' expensive... WTF! Part of me wants to pack the car up and road trip it, but that's just wayyyy too many damn hours to do right before a show... especially if I'm alone. Not to mention, even if I make it there in one piece, driving back is gonna be a sonofabitch! Driving to vegas isn't much of an option though... ugh! Do you have frequent flyer miles? I used my Continental ones to pay for my trip to the Arnold, which helped relieve my mind of the financial commitment there. I don't know how some people manage to compete so many times a year without a sponsor... the expenses add up so quickly!! :(

[Melissa]

Hi there girl! I have been catching up on your post. I too like how you write.I hate being so far away from everyone and don't get out here to post as much as I would like but know I think about you and the other Species gals often. I have the fat small thing going on. Hang in there you will look awesome!

Hey Janet!!:hmn: I know, it does really suck all being so far apart. I get on here to post in my journal, and I usually follow along yours and most of the other girls', but I've been way out of the loop lately, too. I'm definitely following along your prep for Masters, though. Tam and I were actually just talking about you the other day (good things only of course!!). I think you and your hubby need to move out to NY to be closer to us!!


Seriously!!! I don't know what I would do without all you ladies, especially when I'm freaking the F out. Melissa, I swear... I know I say this alot but I really think you're like my long-lost half sister or something. I could HEAR you typing and talking because it's exactly how I talk when I'm going through similar feelings. As usual, thank you for helping me to feel completely normal!

On the other hand though, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I don't even know what I could say to be helpful because it would make me such a hypocrite. I hate when people tell me "calm down", "relax", "it will be okay!" Shut up! What does anyone else know??? lol. It's okay when *I* say it's okay and not a moment sooner! :p

Dude, flights are friggin' insane. I didn't book mine to Jr USAs yet and I've been tracking the prices for over a week now and it is SO effin' expensive... WTF! Part of me wants to pack the car up and road trip it, but that's just wayyyy too many damn hours to do right before a show... especially if I'm alone. Not to mention, even if I make it there in one piece, driving back is gonna be a sonofabitch! Driving to vegas isn't much of an option though... ugh! Do you have frequent flyer miles? I used my Continental ones to pay for my trip to the Arnold, which helped relieve my mind of the financial commitment there. I don't know how some people manage to compete so many times a year without a sponsor... the expenses add up so quickly!! :(

Awwww!! If we're long lost sisters, then I hope to one day develop some of your bad-assness lol. And if we're not normal with these crazy thoughts, at least we're crazy together, right? You really hit the nail on the head though...it doesn't matter what anyone says to try to help me feel better. I know everyone's intentions are good but it really is a matter of things being ok when *I* say it's ok. Sometimes I feel bad for my training partner and PJ and some of my close friends who are in this all with me on an almost daily basis because I know there are days when they try so hard to keep me positive only to get nothing but an argument from me.

I don't have frequent flier miles, but I guess I should look into that, huh? I don't know how people do so many shows in a year either. I can't afford to do more than one or two, both in terms of time and money. And when it comes to national level shows that require travel and whatnot, forget it, one's all I can do. But girl, you better get your toosh in gear and book your Jr. USA's flight asap!!

[stephaniewicked]

What are you talking about? You're a total badass!! ;) If I could get a Ph.D. in arguing, I probably would! lol, I know how to do that all too well... especially when it comes to my hard-headedness vs. someone trying to present logic to me and even MORE especially when it comes to how I feel about my physique and my progress, etc. So I really do mean it when I say that I totally hear you! :hugme: It's okay though... good friends/trainers/etc will be there for you through that all and that's part of what makes them so special!

[Cdimeo]

I wish i felt that i feel small but fat

You are totally neither! I've been following! Your legs are amazing--when I first started lurking in blog-land I must've called my husband to the pc 5 times to check out your quads in the avitar you had then!

I know, I know. Off season is a different monster entirely! It feels SOOO good as it comes off though. And just think, wider, leaner, whatever your bod underneath will bring--we've all seen your pictures and know what you're hiding :)

[janet kaufman]

I would love to move New York:yep:

[Melissa]

What are you talking about? You're a total badass!! ;) If I could get a Ph.D. in arguing, I probably would! lol, I know how to do that all too well... especially when it comes to my hard-headedness vs. someone trying to present logic to me and even MORE especially when it comes to how I feel about my physique and my progress, etc. So I really do mean it when I say that I totally hear you! :hugme: It's okay though... good friends/trainers/etc will be there for you through that all and that's part of what makes them so special!

More proof that we really are long lost sisters. I'll argue just about any point just for the sake of arguing sometimes....and I don't always even realize I'm arguing either! lol


I would love to move New York:yep:

I vote that we just all move somewhere much warmer together...I'm over this NY weather:p


So, as I write this I'm still in bed. Yup, 7am on a Wednesday and I'm still in bed. Because I'm sick...AGAIN:mad: I knew after my first round if germiness at the end of February that I wasn't quite back to 100%. I'd been feeling unusually tired all the time and still had some sinus pain/congestions. Well, sure enough, that shit reared its ugly head Monday morning. Back with the sore throat, cough, stuffiness....son of a biatch. I made the executive decision to skip quads Monday night to try to rest and figured I'd hit them Tuesday morning before work. When I got up Tuesday morning, I felt worse but loaded up on caffiene and went anyway. Big mistake. You would think I'd have learned from what happened last time. For a well-educated woman, I sure can be pretty freaking dumb sometimes. Not long after the gym, I found myself in my doctor's office, AGAIN, being prescribed antibiotics, AGAIN. This time a stronger dose for a longer time. All I care about is that I'm feeling 100% in a week and a half....I got a show to prep for, and I'm NOT about to start it off sick like this.

Let me tell you, looking back, this has been a bit of a rough offseason for me. First, I wind up with an unexpected coaching change early on. Then, the horrible winter we had here with all the snow completely threw a wrench into my weekly training splits. And now, for the past month and a half, I've been battling this sickness crap. Honestly though, I can legitimately say that it's all ultimately worked itself out along the way. But still, we know I don't take kindly to my plans being tinkered with (unless it's me doing the tinkering). I mean, my coaching situation has worked out just fine, even better than I expected. Then, even though the weather messed up my splits and my cardio sessions, I still was able to get them all in over the course of the week, just not on the days or at the times I had originally planned. They still got done, though. And the sick part? Well, that's still pending. But I know I need to just stop and rest. That's really what it is for me. And it has more to do with relaxing mentally because I get so stressed out about things, and that winds up taking a physical toll on me. Do I think this was a wasted offseason? Absolutely not. For the most part, when I was in the gym, I got done what needed to get done. My diet stayed on track the way it should have, and I ultimately made the progress that I would have liked to. But I know the final test will be when I get on stage in July to see how it all comes together.

[Cdimeo]

that which does not kill us.....no?! ALthough I've been teaching middle school for 10 years, and thought I had every winter-antibody known to man, my own children got me sick over and over and over again this winter. I got soar throats, chest colds and even laryngitis which kept coming back because, apparently, antibiotics don't treat what I get LOL

I too, though, made it to the gym..forced in meals...and trained to my capacity eventhough it made me sicker...it's what we do. Hope you feel better soon--because precontest diet and training is enough to compromise your immunity in and of itself!

Here's to warmer days and less germs.

[M.E. Anders]

What a great attitude, Melissa. You have had a rocky off-season, but you are staying focused on your July goal.

Get well!

[tammyp]

are you better? not a time to get sick..you start prep this week dont you?

[tammyp]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo!

[Melissa]

that which does not kill us.....no?! ALthough I've been teaching middle school for 10 years, and thought I had every winter-antibody known to man, my own children got me sick over and over and over again this winter. I got soar throats, chest colds and even laryngitis which kept coming back because, apparently, antibiotics don't treat what I get LOL

I too, though, made it to the gym..forced in meals...and trained to my capacity eventhough it made me sicker...it's what we do. Hope you feel better soon--because precontest diet and training is enough to compromise your immunity in and of itself!

Here's to warmer days and less germs.

Thanks, girl! I'm alive and definitely starting to feel better.


What a great attitude, Melissa. You have had a rocky off-season, but you are staying focused on your July goal.

Get well!

Awww, thank you!!! I have had a bit of a rocky offseason, but in all honesty, I'm pretty confident that I have accomplished what I set out to for this offseason, which is a really good feeling.


are you better? not a time to get sick..you start prep this week dont you?


Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo!

LMAO, Tam, I'm here!!! I just been taking a short sabbatical lol.


Ok, I'm back, and I'm alive, and probably at about 85% capacity. Like I said above, I took a bit of a sabbatical from basically the internet altogether (Facebook, here, etc.). That cold or flu or what ever the fuck I had last week laid me the eff OUT, again. I literally didn't get out of bed at all for 3 days except to go to the bathroom and eat some food. That meant no shower, no computer, no nothing. I was a pathetic, stinky, mess. If life was fair, I'd say I'm done with being sick for like the next three years, but well, we know that ain't the case.

So, this is officially my final update post for my offseason. After being out of the gym for literally the entire week last week, I was itching to get back in on Monday. I decided to stick to my plan of only training 3 days this week and not doing any cardio. I figured it would be in my best interest to allow me to continue trying to recover from this awful cold but also get my body adjusted to being back in the gym. The intention also was only for me to train at about 60-70% intensity. I thought that would be tough because of my all or nothing-ness, but my body wasn't having anything more than that anyway. Monday night I hit quads and hams, and I thought I was gonna die. All I could think of was how I was going to wind up making myself sick again. But here it is Thursday, and I made it through my three training days. A I can tell I'm slowly getting better, too, and much to the pleasure of those around me. Because, let me tell you, I have been a straight up miserable fucking biatch since I got sick this time around again. I've been so worried that I wouldn't be healthy to start prep, and really, that was all I cared about. But I think I should be good to go by Sunday. Good thing, too. Because I cannot wait to get this shit started.

I am so ready to flip the switch and turn on the heat. Let me tell you, I have this fire inside of me this year that I'm not sure where it came from. I can't help but feel that whoever is getting on that stage with me better have done their homework. Obviously, I don't know how drastically improved I'll be from last year or just how close I'll be to the top of the MW class as far as my weight goes, but you better believe that I'm gonna show up with some notable improvements. And I'm going to make you work you ass off up there when you're standing next to me.

Now, anyone who really knows me knows that I'm not a shit talker. They know I'm not out to make anyone look bad or hurt feelings when I say things like this. Truth of the matter is, I'm actually too selfish for that. I'm out for one person and one person only....ME. That's the only thing I can control leading up to that day and on that stage at that moment. I honestly don't care about what anyone else is doing because I have no control over that. I train with the girl in mind who I don't know is getting ready for the same show. What's that cheesy line? Somewhere, some girl is warming up with your max weight, or something like that. I know I'm not the strongest or most muscular girl that will get on that stage in July, but I'm mother effing HUNGRY. Will I turn pro this year? Most likely not. And I don't really care about that. But I will make for damn sure that when the judges see me on that stage in Vegas, they're going to look twice. So on that note, it's time to say Hasta La Pasta to my offseason. I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball. Catch you in contest prep land!!!

[tammyp]

great attitude melissa! keep it going for 16 weeks!

[Cdimeo]

get it girl! Wish you lived closer you're infectious :)

[Sunnyday]

get it girl! Wish you lived closer you're infectious :)

x2! :yep:

[Michelle Brent]

Yeah baby. i'm feelin' da fire! ouch! got scorched here!! But I'm lovin' it!!! It's a good burn, feel da burn babeee!! :yep:

[Melissa]

great attitude melissa! keep it going for 16 weeks!

And therein lies the challenge.


get it girl! Wish you lived closer you're infectious :)


x2! :yep:


Yeah baby. i'm feelin' da fire! ouch! got scorched here!! But I'm lovin' it!!! It's a good burn, feel da burn babeee!! :yep:

Thanks ladies!!!:hmn: Honestly, I have to say stuff like that above post to myself over and over again otherwise I inevitably wind up in a negative frame of mind. I'm an eternal pessimist, so I seriously have to do a lot of positive self-talk. Trust me, ask any of my close friends, they'll tell you that I'm usually Debbie Downer when it comes to this stuff.:p

[stephaniewicked]

YES! I'm SO effin' AMPED for you! One thing you don't do is half-ass things, so I know that you're def gonna bring it hard as always.

[Sunnyday]

Thanks ladies!!!:hmn: Honestly, I have to say stuff like that above post to myself over and over again otherwise I inevitably wind up in a negative frame of mind. I'm an eternal pessimist, so I seriously have to do a lot of positive self-talk. Trust me, ask any of my close friends, they'll tell you that I'm usually Debbie Downer when it comes to this stuff.:p


Sounds like a competitor ready to get into prep mode to me! :yep:

[Melissa]

Oh you ladies better believe it! I seriously couldn't even sleep last night because I was so excited to get this started. It certainly didn't help that I haven't really trained in the past two weeks because of being sick....I literally saw the inside of my gym 3 times. So, I'm fired up for sure. And I'm thinking I'm gonna start a new journal again for prep, like I did last year.

In fact, Imma go do that right now...

[tammyp]

ill close this up then mel.....!