Breaking Pornography Addiction

[Sistersteel]

An action plan to overcome pornography addiction must include actions that both "clean the leaves" (deal with the effects of the addiction on others) and "strengthen the tree" (make the addict stronger so he or she is no longer the victim of temptation).


The following components of an action plan to overcome sex addiction are vital.



Destroy the cache.



An addict who hopes to be successful must eliminate porn and sex addiction and their results from their lives. That means deleting and destroying computer files, games, pictures, videos and stories. It means throwing out magazines, videos, DVD's and books. It means getting rid of old emails, chat transcripts, letters, and other communications. It probably means getting rid of Instant Messenger, changing your email address and maybe your phone number. Destroying the cache of pornography is an important early step in the process. And you must be ruthless.





Get it in the open.



Like many addictions, the addiction to lust, sex and porn thrives in the dark. Turn the spotlight on. This means confessing to your spouse and to a religious leader if there is one in your life. Move your computer into a room where anyone walking by can see what you're doing and what is on the screen.


Set you own roadblocks.



If Internet porn or cybersex is your challenge, get a good filter or an ISP that filters from the server side, and let your spouse set the password. If you are tempted by the neighborhood strip club or adult bookstore, change you routes to work so you don't pass by. Establish some meaningful limits in your behavior.


Find your triggers.



Every addict has some feelings, thoughts or experiences that preceded acting out. Identify yours and find ways to minimize them or to react differently to them. For example, if one of your triggers is boredom, commit that when you are feeling bored, you'll get up and walk for ten minutes around the office or the block. If a trigger is rejection, then turn to an affirmation like "I am a person of infinite worth" and repeat if several times out loud.



Be accountable.



Perhaps the most important thing is to have an accountability partner-someone to whom you report daily (or more often) about your successes and your failures. Join a 12-step Sexaholics Anonymous group or a similar support group. Or use a close and trusted friend or religious advisor. But have someone to whom you will account and who will check up on you if you don't check in.



Set up a bank.



Several therapists recommend that you give your accountability partner a large sum of cash that will be returned to you if you have 100 days without acting out. If not, the cash will be donated to charity. This can be a great motivator.

[Sistersteel]

Pornography and sex addiction have huge negative impacts of families and society. Among the consequences are:

Loss of intimacy in relationships.



As the porn or sex addict immerses himself or herself in this material, he or she receives false messages about other people. Contrary to the myths of porn, the lives of healthy people do not revolve around sex. Sex is an important part of life, but it is auxiliary to families, to careers and to spirituality. The sex addict loses his or her perspective about sex as a subset of intimacy.



Tendency to act out.



It is clear from the clinical research that extended exposure to pornography tends to lead an addict to act out sexually. What is kept and nurtured in the mind tends to eventually be acted out in life. Acting out can range from more porn to masturbation to introducing sex acts from porn into your marriage relationship to having an affair.

Escalation.



As with any addiction, what used to satisfy the user no longer brings him or her the rush they experienced before. The desire for the same rush tends to lead to escalation. An addiction to soft-core leads to hard-core, and hard-core to real life experience in strip clubs or with prostitutes, or with a co-worker or friend. The addiction can also move into harder core porn such as bestiality, sado-masochism and violence.

The Messages Sent.



An addiction to porn sends some very hard messages to our spouses. "Wasn't I good enough for you?" is a common feeling among addicts' spouses. "I feel so lonely and betrayed" is a response to the loss of intimacy and the violation of trust. Many spouses feel that sex addiction is as much a violation as an affair would be.

[BK]

I would think that porn would actually spice things up in the bedroom and would increase the intimacy between SO's to a certain extent. But if it involved adding partners, pets, etc., then that would obviously lead to problems.

[Sistersteel]

I would think that porn would actually spice things up in the bedroom and would increase the intimacy between SO's to a certain extent. But if it involved adding partners, pets, etc., then that would obviously lead to problems.


lmao!

ah yes...pets...


Unfortunately, we can't save everyone! lol

[Rattbones]

good thread, I think most men with porn addictions have a hard time being honest with themselves and there spouse. Would like to here from others

[gman]

I can tell you from personal experience, BK is not correct. The porn becomes a substitute for the real thing. I am fighting it really hard right now.

[Big Sky Guy]

It can make you numb to life, numb to your own and other people's feelings.

I personally had to unplug for awhile...checking email and specific projects were the only things I allowed myself. No "surfing" of any sort to waste time.

I have been able to relax that standard over the years, but if I get the temptations and let down my guard I will do it again. So- I even asked GX to make the 18 and Over Forum here not visible to me...but apparently they cannot, so self-control is the name of the game. Just don't go there today.

[sam the man]

its just photograph, its ur mind how u see it, its all in mind

[realmccoy]

I think it is dangerous and it can effect a persons mind. It can also numb a persons normal sex, and then make search for more and more weired sex acts.

[maxititer]

Pornography and sex addiction have huge negative impacts of families and society. Among the consequences are:

Loss of intimacy in relationships.

at that point when some one of partners get interested in porn, intimacy usually in the past, if it ever was there.

Sex is powerful thing, therefore sex should not dominate in moral atmosphere of social life. Because of porn young generation cant focus on education if their mind flashed with porn. Porn industry guys making money and everybody else pays very heavy price. That is not fair.

Society which nurtured generations of degenerates, will pay heavy economical price for it. Take a look who are entrepreneurs in USA nowadays. 75% of entrepreneurs are migrants.

[Shawn Bellon]

Great post.

[desibaba]

What exactly is "Porn Addiction" though? I think the term could mean different things to different people. A single guy who plays with himself three times a day when he is on a lot of test is considered a porn addict? Or a married guy who masturbates when the wife is away for a day or two?

[Kelly Baker]

Someone who truly has this addiction must remain in counciling for the rest of their life and learn effective ways of dealing with triggers For the addict, things that you and I would not think of as being a trigger, are. For example, a billboard add for Black Velvet showing a woman wearing an evening gown. Unlike alcoholics, the longer the porn addict goes without "using" the more likely it is that they will use. My ex had this problem. It was consuming, caused him to steal someone's credit card, file a false police report, etc. He will need help for as long as he lives.

[sam the man]

lol

[sam the man]

one thing is the key factor,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WILL POWER,,,,,,rest what ever u say is only,,,,,,,u know what. right

[ArabMuscle]

2 solutions:

1) Get a really hot gf/wife and screw her until you can barely get it up again.
2) Work yourself to the brink of insanity at the gym to the point where your testosterone is concentrating more on recovery rather than your penis.

[desibaba]

2 solutions:

1) Get a really hot gf/wife and screw her until you can barely get it up again.
2) Work yourself to the brink of insanity at the gym to the point where your testosterone is concentrating more on recovery rather than your penis.
Are you even allowed to keep a Gf in kuwait?

[Irish]

Its scientific fact that masturbation causes blindness, thats reson enough to curtail your filthy habit.

[Ryan Wacht]

Next time you get the urge to watch porn and masterbate, imagine a gruesome situation in your mind right at the time you're going to ejaculate, such as a loved one getting killed, or your dog getting hit by a car. By doing so, you're creating a negative association link to your porn masterbation, thus making it less likely that you'll continue the behavior in the future.

[Chrisco915]

Its scientific fact that masturbation causes blindness, thats reson enough to curtail your filthy habit.

What about the hairy palms???

[fitbody]

I would think that porn would actually spice things up in the bedroom and would increase the intimacy between SO's to a certain extent. But if it involved adding partners, pets, etc., then that would obviously lead to problems.

it can spice things up in the bedroom for sure
but theres a difference in using porn to enhance sex
and PORN ADDICTION
cuz a true porn addict can actually be more interested in porn than actual live action
one of my close friends long time marriage of 20 yrs went bye bye:byeg:
he was addicted to porn and hadn't touched her in over a yr
she was hot and desperately wanted it but didn't get anything from him

i know this from personal experience too one of my exboyfriends was severly addicted to porn, caused alot of problems in his life & with us
and i like porn so i'm not against it
but addiction is addiction and that is no longer healthy
when it causes harm to yourself and or others because of your obsession

[fitbody]

Its scientific fact that masturbation causes blindness, thats reson enough to curtail your filthy habit.

if it wasn't for maturbation right now i'd be in jail for something for sure !
i haven't been with a man in 7 months
and i hardly say it's a filthy habit
sorry its natural

mmmmmmnnnnnn....... maybe thatz why my eyesights gettin worse :hypno:

[Chrisco915]

Does Webster have a definition for Porn Addiction? Wikipedia? Let's find out....

[Chrisco915]

if it wasn't for maturbation right now i'd be in jail for something for sure !
i haven't been with a man in 7 months
and i hardly say it's a filthy habit
sorry its natural

mmmmmmnnnnnn....... maybe thatz why my eyesights gettin worse :hypno:


How many fingers am I holding up?

[fitbody]

I can tell you from personal experience, BK is not correct. The porn becomes a substitute for the real thing. I am fighting it really hard right now.


i would never subsitute porn for the real thing
NO WAY
to enhance for sure
right now i'd much prefer the real thing
just haven't found the right man to blow my skirt up yet
but my eyes are wide open
of course if masturbation really causes blindness
then i will be totally blind soon if the right man doesn't cum along

[Chrisco915]

Dispute about whether or not pornography addiction exists:
There is a dispute about whether pornography addiction exists. There is further argument as to whether or not it has harmful effects. Some sex therapists argue that it is a real addiction with serious consequences, while others argue it is not comparable to substance addiction and should not be classed as such.[2] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porn_addiction#cite_note-bbc-1)
Erick Janssen (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Erick_Janssen&action=edit&redlink=1), PhD, a researcher at the Kinsey Institute, criticizes the application of the term addiction to pornography overuse, arguing that while it describes addiction-like behaviour, treating the users as addicts may not help.[1] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porn_addiction#cite_note-Downs-0) Stephen Andert (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Stephen_Andert&action=edit&redlink=1), coauthor of "Web Stalkers: Protect Yourself from Internet Criminals & Psychopaths", states "For many people, pornography is a problem. Like alcohol, gambling or drugs, it can take control of a person's life and drag them kicking and screaming or voluntarily into the gutter. The addictive and progressive (or should that be regressive) nature of pornography is well documented." However, Andert identified no source for the claimed documentation.[3] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porn_addiction#cite_note-2)
[edit (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Pornography_addiction&action=edit&section=3)] Proposed definition

Aviel Goodman, M.D., proposed general characteristics of all types of addictions in 1990.[4] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porn_addiction#cite_note-addiction1990def-3) Pornography addiction is defined, by those who argue that it exists, as a psychological addiction to, or dependence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dependence_(behavioral_medicine)) upon, pornography, characterized by obsessive viewing, reading, and thinking about pornography and sexual themes to the detriment of other areas of one's own life.

[Chrisco915]

http://www.hugovids.com/main.shtml

Ooops....my finger slipped.