How To Stop Worrying

[Sistersteel]

Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety Relief
Worrying can be helpful when it spurs you to take action and solve a problem. But if you’re preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem of its own. Unrelenting doubts and fears are paralyzing, not motivating or productive. They sap your emotional energy, send your anxiety levels soaring, and interfere with your day-to-day life–all this with no positive payoff! The good news is that chronic worrying is a mental habit you can learn how to break. You can train your brain to stay calm and collected and to look at life from a more positive perspective.

Why is it so hard to stop worrying?
Constant worrying takes a heavy toll. It keeps you up at night and makes you tense and edgy during the day. You hate feeling like a nervous wreck. So why is it so difficult to stop worrying?

For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the beliefs–both negative and positive–they hold about worrying.

On the negative side, you may believe that your constant worrying is harmful, that it’s going to drive you crazy or affect your physical health. Or you may worry that you’re going to lose all control over your worrying–that it will take over and never stop.

On the positive side, you may believe that your worrying helps you avoid bad things, prevents problems, prepares you for the worst, or leads to solutions.

Negative beliefs, or worrying about worrying, add to your anxiety and keep worry going. But positive beliefs about worrying can be even more damaging. It’s tough to break the worry habit if you believe that your worrying protects you. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, you must give up your belief that worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your worried mind.

Why You Keep Worrying
You have mixed feelings about your worries. On one hand, your worries are bothering you - you can't sleep, and you can't get these pessimistic thoughts out of your head. But there is a way that these worries make sense to you. For example, you think:

Maybe I'll find a solution.
I don't want to overlook anything.
If I keep thinking a little longer, maybe I'll figure it out.
I don't want to be surprised.
I want to be responsible.
You have a hard time giving up on your worries because, in a sense, your worries have been working for you.

Source: The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You, Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D.

Hope you find this helpful...http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/e058.gif

[Sistersteel]

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #1: Accept uncertainty
The inability to tolerate uncertainty plays a huge role in anxiety and worry. Chronic worriers can’t stand doubt or unpredictability. They need to know with 100 percent certainty what’s going to happen. Worrying is seen as a way to predict what the future has in store, a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.

Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios won’t keep bad things from happening. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. So if you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need for certainty and immediate answers.

Challenging intolerance of uncertainty: The key to anxiety relief
Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses. See if you can come to an understanding of the disadvantages and problems of being intolerant of uncertainty.

Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?
What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?
Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?
Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?
Adapted from Accepting Uncertainty, Centre for Clinical Interventions

[Sistersteel]

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #2: Create a worry period
It’s tough to be productive in your daily life when anxiety and worry are dominating your thoughts. Trying to stop worrying doesn’t work - at least not for long. You can distract yourself for a moment, but you can’t banish your anxious thoughts for good. Trying to do so often makes them stronger. But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to control your worry. You just need to try a different approach. Rather than trying to totally suppress an anxious thought, develop the habit of postponing worrying.

Learning to postpone worrying:

Create a “worry period.”
Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. In the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.

Postpone your worry.
If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it on paper and postpone it to your worry period. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Save it for later and continue to go about your day.

Go over your “worry list” during the worry period.
Reflect on the worries you wrote down during the day. If the thoughts are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. If the worries don’t seem important any more, cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.
Postponing worrying is effective because it breaks the habit of dwelling on worries in the present moment. As you develop the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll experience a greater sense of control.

[Sistersteel]

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #3: Challenge negative thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.

Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring - you must retrain your brain.

Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Stop worry by questioning the worried thought:

What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

Cognitive Distortions that Lead to Anxiety and Worry

All-or-nothing thinking
Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground (“If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”)

Overgeneralization
Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever (“I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”)

The mental filter
Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

Diminishing the positive
Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”)

Jumping to conclusions
Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader (“I can tell she secretly hates me.”) or a fortune teller (“I just know something terrible is going to happen.”)

Catastrophizing
Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen (“The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”)

Emotional reasoning
Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”)

'Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’
Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do–and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules

Labeling
Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”)

Personalization
Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control (“It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”)

[Sistersteel]

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #4: Learn how to relax

Anxiety is more than just a feeling. It’s the body’s physical “fight or flight” reaction to a perceived threat. Your heart pounds, you breathe faster, your muscles tense up, and you feel light-headed. When you’re relaxed, the complete opposite happens. Your heart rate slows down, you breathe slower and more deeply, your muscles relax, and your blood pressure stabilizes. Since it’s impossible to be anxious and relaxed at the same time, strengthening your body’s relaxation response is a powerful anxiety-relieving tactic.

If you’re a chronic worrier, relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, and meditation can teach you how to relax. The key is regular practice. Try to set aside at least 30 minutes a day. Over time, the relaxation response will come easier and easier, until it feels natural.

Progressive muscle relaxation.
When anxiety takes hold, progressive muscle relaxation can help you release muscle tension and take a “time out” from your worries. The technique involves systematically tensing and then releasing different muscle groups in your body. As your body relaxes, your mind will follow.

Deep breathing.
When you’re anxious, you breathe faster. This hyperventilation causes symptoms such as dizziness, breathlessness, lightheadedness, and tingly hands and feet. These physical symptoms are frightening, leading to further anxiety and panic. But by breathing deeply from the diaphragm, you can reverse these symptoms and calm yourself down.

Meditation.
Many types of meditation have been shown to reduce anxiety. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, shows promise for anxiety relief. Research shows that mindfulness meditation can actually change your brain. With regular practice, meditation boosts activity on the left side of the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for feelings of serenity and joy.

Relaxation techniques for anxiety relief
From tai chi and yoga to meditation and deep breathing, there are many relaxation techniques that can help stop worry and anxiety.

Read: Stress Relief: Yoga, Meditation, and other Relaxation Techniques

[Sistersteel]

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #5: Take care of yourself

A healthy, balanced lifestyle plays a big role in keeping anxiety, fears, and worry at bay. Read on for a number of ways you can stop anxiety and worry by taking care of yourself.

Reach out for support

Anxiety and worry get worse when you feel powerless and alone, but there is strength in numbers. Focus on building a strong support system. The more connected you are to other people, the less vulnerable you’ll feel. If you start to feel overwhelmed with worry, call a trusted family member or friend. Just talking out loud about your worries can make them seem less threatening.

Adopt healthy eating habits

Start the day right with breakfast, and continue with frequent small meals throughout the day. Going too long without eating leads to low blood sugar, which can make you feel anxious and irritable. Eat plenty of complex carbohydrates such as whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. Not only do complex carbs stabilize blood sugar, they also boost serotonin, a neurotransmitter with calming effects.

Limit caffeine and sugar

Stop drinking or cut back on caffeinated beverages, including soda, coffee, and tea. Caffeine can increase anxiety, interfere with sleep, and even provoke panic attacks. Reduce the amount of refined sugar you eat, too. Sugary snacks and desserts cause blood sugar to spike and then crash, leaving you feeling emotionally and physically drained.

Exercise regularly

Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment. For maximum anxiety relief, try to get at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity on most days. Aerobic exercise relieves tension and stress, boosts physical and mental energy, and enhances well-being through the release of endorphins, the brain’s feel-good chemicals.

Avoid alcohol and nicotine

Alcohol temporarily reduces anxiety and worry, but it actually causes anxiety symptoms as it wears off. Drinking for anxiety relief also starts you on a path that can lead to alcohol abuse and dependence. Lighting up when you’re feeling anxious is also a bad idea. While it may seem like cigarettes are calming, nicotine is actually a powerful stimulant. Smoking leads to higher, not lower, levels of anxiety.

Get enough sleep

Anxiety and worry can cause insomnia, as anyone whose racing thoughts have kept them up at night can attest. But lack of sleep can also contribute to anxiety. When you’re sleep deprived, your ability to handle stress is compromised. When you’re well rested, it’s much easier to keep your emotional balance, a key factor in coping with anxiety and stopping worry.

Hope you enjoyed this. More importantly, I hope it helps in the control and lessening of your anxiety and alleviates related discomforts.


SS

[gman]

Good stuff, I will come back after my workout and really read it. This is my problem area, constant worry.

[razorsedge]

I tend to worry too much. One of the things that I do when I find myself
worrying too much is to remind myself that just because I don't know
the outcome of a situation does not mean that it will turn out badly.

[Frosty]

Dale Carnegie has a book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living." These are some notes from the book I took:

"How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie

Rule 1: If you want to avoid worry, do what Dir William Osler
did: Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew about the
future. Just live each day until bedtime.

Rule 2: The next time trouble backs you in a corner, try the
magic formula:

a. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly
happen if I can't solve my problem?"

b. Prepare yourself metnally to accept the worse--if
necessary.

c. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst, which you
have already m entally agreed to accept.

Rule 3: Remind yoursel of the exorbitant price you pay for worry
in terms of your health.



HOW TO ANALYZE AND SOLVE WORRY PROBLEMS

1. Get the facts
2. Analyze the facts
3. Arrive at a decision-and then act on it


1. Write down precisely what I am worrying about
2. Write down what I can do about it
3. Decide what to do
4. Start immediately to carry out that decision



How to solve problems:

1. What is the problem?
2. What is the cause?
3. What are the possible solutions? WRITE THEM DOWN
4. What solution do you suggest?




Part 2 - Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry

Rule 1: Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University
said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to
make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to
base a decision.

Rule 2: After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a conclusion.

Rule 3: Once a decision is carefully reached, act. Get Busy carrying
out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.

Rule 4: When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about
a problem, write out and answer the following questions:

1. What is the problem?
2. What is the cause?
3. What are the possible solutions? WRITE THEM DOWN
4. Wnat is the best solution?



Part 3 - How to break the worry habit before it breaks you

Rule 1: Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action
is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing worry.

Rule 2: Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things--the mere
termites of life--to ruin your happiness.

Rule 3: Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself,
"What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"

Rule 4: Cooperate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance
is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so;
it cannot be otherwise."

Rule 5: Put a "stop-loss" order on your worries. Decide just how much
anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to give it any more.

Rule 6: Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.




Part 4: Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you
peace and happiness

Rule 1: Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health,
and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."

Rules 2: Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do
we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General
Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we
don't like.

Rule 3: A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect
it. Let's remember that Jesus healed 10 lepers in one
day--only one thanked him. Why should we expect more
gratitude than Jesus got?

B. Let's remember that the only way to find happiness
is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of
giving.

C. Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated"
trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we
must train them to be grateful.

Rule 4: Count your blessings, not your troubles!

Rule 5: Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves,
for envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.

Rule 6: When fate hands us a lemon, let's make lemonade.
(i.e. what is the good in this?)

Rule 7: Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little
happiness for others. "When you are good to others yo uare best
to yourself."





Part 6 - How to keep form worrying about criticism

Rule 1: Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means
that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one
ever kicks a dead dog.

Rule 2: Do the very best you can; and then put up your umbrella and keep
the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.

Rule 3: Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and
criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's
do what E. H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful,
constructive criticism.





Part 7 - 6 ways to prevent fatigue and worry and keep your energy
and spirits high

Rule 1: Rest before you get tired

Rule 2: Learn to relax at your work

Rule 3: Learn to relax at home

Rule 4: Apply these four good working habits:
a. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating
to the immediate problem at hand.

b. Do things in order of their importance.

c. When you face a problem, solve it then and there,
if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.

d. Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.

Rule 5: To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.

Rule 6: Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is
worrying about insomnia that does the damage, not the insomnia.

[Sistersteel]

Frosty
Always a pleasure reading your posts and contributions. Thank you!

[Frosty]

Thanks, Sistersteel. You really help out a lot on these boards.

I have a tendency to worry, but not really badly. I actually do that EFT thing before bed regarding things I might worry about. It's funny I always end up yawning and breathing deeply without intentionally doing it when I go through the EFT acupressure points saying the right things. It really helps me relax and sleep better.

[Sistersteel]

If I worry, and that is something I do very often, I will pray for peace.
Someone told me to try yoga once. I don't think I have the patience for yoga though. But I will certainly be giving the EFT a try! :)

[msfit]

Worry is just a sign of lack of faith. I try to look at it like this...
All the shit I use to do, for some reason, I prefer to call it God, I got by. By NO will of my own. Today I try to stay out of the drivers seat and Let God have things unfold in his way not mine. All I have control over is how I react or accept what ever comes my way.

[prettymuscles]

Thank you Sistersteel, this was much better than my session with my psychologist - I tend to worry alot, overthink and jump to conclusions. I guess the reason for this that I had to take care of my sisters and myself at a very young age to protect from harm physical abuse.

Now my adult years I worry about everything, my job, my relationship even the simple things in life - seems I have a need to plan things ahead of time so I know things should go accordingly to plan. I need help - But when i'm at the gym its just me and the weights all my worries are gone. I am planning to take on Yoga next week for the first time. I was on Ativan my anxiety but not long since its addictive and now recently on zopiclone for insomnia (Day 1) today

[R_U_Red_D]

Thanks for this. I just have to keep re-reading it until it sinks in.

[Larry C]

If I worry, and that is something I do very often, I will pray for peace.
Someone told me to try yoga once. I don't think I have the patience for yoga though. But I will certainly be giving the EFT a try! :)
You could try Bikram Yoga, it's faster and practised in very hot rooms so it's more of a challenge.

Personally I used to suffer pretty badly with anxiety when I was in my mid-teens. When I got worried my heartrate would go rapid, almost felt like palpitations and my face would get flush with the increased bloodflow. After trying the yoga and getting into martial arts I found long stretches (30 seconds for each) and deep breathing has helped a lot.