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View Full Version : Predicament - What would you do?



joedemarco
04-15-2011, 07:08 PM
I am currently prepping both of my training partners for shows. One is competing on Sunday, May 8th. A few weeks ago, he asked me if I was going to the show with him (it's a relatively short ride). I told him I would definitely be there to help him out, especially where it is only his second time competing.

Two days ago, I find out that the show is on Mothers Day. Who the heck would schedule a show on Mothers Day...lol? I have three kids and we always spend Mothers Day with my wife. Breakfast in bed, go out for maybe a picnic or hike later, etc. My wife and I also usually try to visit our own mothers at some point.

When I mentioned to my friend today that I might not be able to go to the show, he was pretty upset. I totally understand why he is upset, however I would feel awful being gone all day from my family. OH, and to make matters worse, it's my wife's b-day on the 9th (so we would also be celebrating her birthday over the weekend).

One last thing: I've been donating a lot of time to helping this guy out (i.e. posing practice, diet, training) cause he's a friend and a training partner. I'm not charging him for any of my prep work.

Any thoughts?

BigJD69
04-15-2011, 07:22 PM
WOW Tough one! Pre-judging is usually in the morning,correct? Maybe try and see if you can get him thru pre-judging then spend the rest of the day with the family!

freebirdmac
04-15-2011, 07:45 PM
I think you're screwed :p

Your trainee will get over it. While I know you'd like to be there to help him out, family is first.

KyMuscle
04-15-2011, 08:52 PM
Joe:

You've donated time, without charge, to help your friend.

You made the commitment to be at the show with him before you realized it was on Mother's Day.

Spend the day with your wife, children and mother.

If your friend doesn't understand, he's not really a friend.

Mac
04-15-2011, 09:12 PM
Family comes first.

AVBG
04-15-2011, 09:22 PM
Happy wife/happy life, if he can't understand that then tell him to get back to you when he does.

Baldiewonkanobi
04-15-2011, 09:30 PM
Family comes first.

Absolutly


Baldie

KevinCouch
04-15-2011, 09:31 PM
Yea Joe...can't skip Valentine's and wife's Birthday. You've spent a lot of time with this guy he'll just have to understand.

Dadup
04-15-2011, 09:39 PM
Joe:

You've donated time, without charge, to help your friend.

You made the commitment to be at the show with him before you realized it was on Mother's Day.

Spend the day with your wife, children and mother.

If your friend doesn't understand, he's not really a friend.
THIS...couldn't have said it better

s2h
04-15-2011, 09:42 PM
def family/wife come first joe..and since its not a paid client..that makes it even a easier choice...like said above..if he is a real friend he will understand..maybe write him a check list..of things he should do or not do etc..or possibly find another exp. guy/gal that will be at the show to give him some help...

Dadup
04-15-2011, 09:46 PM
def family/wife come first joe..and since its not a paid client..that makes it even a easier choice...like said above..if he is a real friend he will understand..maybe write him a check list..of things he should do or not do etc..or possibly find another exp. guy/gal that will be at the show to give him some help...
thats a really good idea too :yep:

joedemarco
04-15-2011, 11:09 PM
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I completely understand what you are all saying. It's exactly how I feel....family first. I would feel like such a jerk to not be home on Mother's Day with my wife and kids.

I think S2H had a gread idea. I'll get together a check list for him and also try to line up someone else to go with him to help. Even though I can't get to the show, I've already done a lot for this guy. Had to write out his diet, make weekly adjustments, work on his posing almost every day after working out (he was f--king awful at posing when we strated), make up his 60 second routine, work with him on his 90 second evening routine, training, gave him about $100 in tanning supplies that I had, etc.

I can live with this guy getting mad at me for not going to this show. However, I wouldn't be able to live down the guilt of not being home for my wife and kids.

GirlyMuscle
04-15-2011, 11:17 PM
I can live with this guy getting mad at me for not going to this show. However, I wouldn't be able to live down the guilt of not being home for my wife and kids.

That says it all. :)

partsRheavy
04-16-2011, 12:18 AM
Mother's Day was always small compared to Christmas/Easter and even Valentine's Day for my family. I guess they kept stuff basic...

I do think you should find someone experienced to help him out on show day with the last-minute stuff like tanning, posing, what to eat, how to drop water etc.

I realize it's family first but the dude who's competing is probably wanting help with last-minute show-related stuff like dropping water, getting the tan right,posing, carbing up (at exactly what time?). That kind of stuff isn't easily explained from the spotter position behind a bench 6 weeks before the show. It's more last-minute and the discussions would be on or the day before the actual show date. It can be pretty confusing I would think.....

I guess what I'm saying is do your best to make it look like you're not reneging on a commitment even though I realize this is a training buddy not a paying client. I'm sure you can find someone else knowledgeable to help out the 1 day - maybe pitch in for their ticket to the show or whatever....just so you are both family man and good sport.....all I'm sayin'.

I think if you do that he might stick around....if not, he'll go his own way. Depends if you wanna keep a training buddy or not.....

Dr. Joel Nathan
04-16-2011, 08:50 AM
It's the journey that you've gone through with him. That's the important part. Family comes first.

Hammerfit
04-16-2011, 09:05 AM
I agree, if he is a friend, he will understand, knowing you and how important family is, this is a no brainer.

Sledge
04-16-2011, 09:20 AM
You can't make everyone happy.

And just because the bloke gets mad or upset that you won't be there, It doesn't mean he doesn't understand. Or even agree with your decision. It just means he's disappointed and most likely banked on your support and now has to deal with the things you would have helped with.
maybe you should ask him if he understands your position?

HeavyDutyGuy
04-16-2011, 10:00 AM
What was the promoter thinking??? Go be with your family. And next time he should ccheck out the show date in advance lol.

axioma
04-16-2011, 10:48 AM
I am currently prepping both of my training partners for shows. One is competing on Sunday, May 8th. A few weeks ago, he asked me if I was going to the show with him (it's a relatively short ride). I told him I would definitely be there to help him out, especially where it is only his second time competing.

Two days ago, I find out that the show is on Mothers Day. Who the heck would schedule a show on Mothers Day...lol? I have three kids and we always spend Mothers Day with my wife. Breakfast in bed, go out for maybe a picnic or hike later, etc. My wife and I also usually try to visit our own mothers at some point.

When I mentioned to my friend today that I might not be able to go to the show, he was pretty upset. I totally understand why he is upset, however I would feel awful being gone all day from my family. OH, and to make matters worse, it's my wife's b-day on the 9th (so we would also be celebrating her birthday over the weekend).

One last thing: I've been donating a lot of time to helping this guy out (i.e. posing practice, diet, training) cause he's a friend and a training partner. I'm not charging him for any of my prep work.

Any thoughts?

Well, you f***ed up not checking the calender..:dunno:, however that is done. Family first...tell the client to "cowboy up" and deal with it...

GerryT
04-18-2011, 01:48 PM
Family first. You did everything you could for him. He has to do the rest himslef. Hope everyone will have a good day.

masterschamp
04-19-2011, 08:03 AM
Family first....if he's got a problem with that he needs more than training advice.

Keith

JoeB8962
04-19-2011, 09:21 AM
Family first, ALWAYS!

Scoobysnacks
04-20-2011, 04:32 PM
Joe:

You've donated time, without charge, to help your friend.

You made the commitment to be at the show with him before you realized it was on Mother's Day.

Spend the day with your wife, children and mother.

If your friend doesn't understand, he's not really a friend.

this plus any real problem that he encounters, with technology this day in age, he can snap a pic and send it within minutes, in order for you to make adjustments. Family first always.

The Big Sexy
04-20-2011, 04:36 PM
At the end of the day - the journey to the stage belongs to the competitor and the competitor alone. He may have help along the way - but in the end, it is him and only him who is on the stage... all their own work is there to be displayed... A competitor should be prepared to do it all on their own even though they may have help.

It's a selfish sport - and the only person you can truly count on is yourself.

Knowing all that- No brainer in my book... your family comes way first.

BryanB
04-20-2011, 04:36 PM
Happy wife/happy life, if he can't understand that then tell him to get back to you when he does.


^
this

Provo82
04-21-2011, 12:46 PM
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I completely understand what you are all saying. It's exactly how I feel....family first. I would feel like such a jerk to not be home on Mother's Day with my wife and kids.

I think S2H had a gread idea. I'll get together a check list for him and also try to line up someone else to go with him to help. Even though I can't get to the show, I've already done a lot for this guy. Had to write out his diet, make weekly adjustments, work on his posing almost every day after working out (he was f--king awful at posing when we strated), make up his 60 second routine, work with him on his 90 second evening routine, training, gave him about $100 in tanning supplies that I had, etc.

I can live with this guy getting mad at me for not going to this show. However, I wouldn't be able to live down the guilt of not being home for my wife and kids.

you can think about it like this. you see your wife every single day dealing with her being upset is gonna be alot harder than a training partner being upset lol. so yeah i agree family first.

mkris7
04-22-2011, 07:47 PM
This is bodybuilding for Christ Sake...I see too many people living a life that is not balanced.
FAMILY COMES FIRST IN MY BOOK....From what you said, you have invested a lot of your time in helping your friend out (free of charge). Now it's his turn to "Man Up" and show you how much of a friend he is to you and how thankful he is for all your help.

If he is a real friend and not someone just using you for your SKILL and KNOWLEDGE, he will understand your decision to be with your family and your friendship will be stronger because of it.

Tu Holmes
04-22-2011, 07:58 PM
Dude... This is not tough...

It is a no brainer...

You live with your wife... She is your partner... That is your LIFE.

Tell your boy to find someone else to rub oil on his ass.

How is this even a question... It's fucking Mother's DAY