Sean Katterle
07-19-2011, 11:09 AM
Don't despair over your weak stache. For just $310 Inz-Her is willing to sell you the new Party Predator (triple fiber xtreme available now!)
http://www.officefunhouse.com/img/productImages/1120/Mustache%20Party%20-%20Self%20Adhesive%20Fake%20Mustaches%20_1.jpg
If anyone knocks you, saying that the mustache really isn't yours, inform them that it took months to learn how to lift with the Party Predator glued to your face. Better yet, challenge THEM to show up at the meet wearing one so they can show you how it's done. They'll most likely point out that they simply grew their own stache over time and that they don't need a Party Predator to sport a takin-care-of-business look. If they do dare to type these words, ban them from your mustache club forum. We don't need haters disrespecting our glued on facial hair around here.
Coming this fall: Giant sized glue on staches in Viking, Biker, Lumberjack and Fu Man Chu! Get ready to set some all time stache growing records with these instant classics. The rest of the facial hair world may not respect you, but Party Predator glue on staches are a cult practice and we don't care if fake staches are allowed in the Olympics or not.
Next year we'll be holding the 1st Annual Unlimited Fiber Party Predator Stache Worlds. Look for mustache growing records to fall thanks to our new bio friendly glue that allows up to 10 pounds of artificial stache fur to stay stuck to your mug. This incredible world championship will take place in the sub grand ballroom at The East Columbus Recreation Center and Bingo Hall. It will be held the same weekend as The Arnold Classic and just 9 miles away from the main tradeshow. Details coming soon.
Some people are still insisting on growing out their staches like this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8ZdKzq5JVrg/TDNq0diOYuI/AAAAAAAAA3A/zhdQnRgWqoE/s1600/DannyTrejo.jpg
But we know the stache world's evolved. You don't see balding men competing with combovers anymore. They're all going with hair plugs and toupees that stay on (even in water.) So the Party Predators are simply offering us a modern level of support and protection when we try and pick up the ladies.
http://www.officefunhouse.com/img/productImages/1120/Mustache%20Party%20-%20Self%20Adhesive%20Fake%20Mustaches%20_1.jpg
If anyone knocks you, saying that the mustache really isn't yours, inform them that it took months to learn how to lift with the Party Predator glued to your face. Better yet, challenge THEM to show up at the meet wearing one so they can show you how it's done. They'll most likely point out that they simply grew their own stache over time and that they don't need a Party Predator to sport a takin-care-of-business look. If they do dare to type these words, ban them from your mustache club forum. We don't need haters disrespecting our glued on facial hair around here.
Coming this fall: Giant sized glue on staches in Viking, Biker, Lumberjack and Fu Man Chu! Get ready to set some all time stache growing records with these instant classics. The rest of the facial hair world may not respect you, but Party Predator glue on staches are a cult practice and we don't care if fake staches are allowed in the Olympics or not.
Next year we'll be holding the 1st Annual Unlimited Fiber Party Predator Stache Worlds. Look for mustache growing records to fall thanks to our new bio friendly glue that allows up to 10 pounds of artificial stache fur to stay stuck to your mug. This incredible world championship will take place in the sub grand ballroom at The East Columbus Recreation Center and Bingo Hall. It will be held the same weekend as The Arnold Classic and just 9 miles away from the main tradeshow. Details coming soon.
Some people are still insisting on growing out their staches like this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8ZdKzq5JVrg/TDNq0diOYuI/AAAAAAAAA3A/zhdQnRgWqoE/s1600/DannyTrejo.jpg
But we know the stache world's evolved. You don't see balding men competing with combovers anymore. They're all going with hair plugs and toupees that stay on (even in water.) So the Party Predators are simply offering us a modern level of support and protection when we try and pick up the ladies.