Types of Eating Disorders

[Sistersteel]

Anorexia


This section describes anorexia in a way that will be of interest both to someone suffering from anorexia and to those people who know someone who suffers. If you think that YOU may have anorexia, reading this page, will help you to understand what anorexia is all about.

What is it?

In simple terms, people with anorexia starve themselves to lose weight. The term 'Anorexia Nervosa' actually means 'appetite loss of nervous origins', indicating that this low food intake does not have a physical cause, but is due to emotional or psychological factors. Anorexia is associated with feelings and behaviours that are related to a fear of becoming 'fat' or 'overweight'. A person with anorexia is likely to have a distorted body image, fear of food in relation to its ability to create fatness, and an intense fear of being a normal body weight. Anorexic behaviours include eating only a minimal amount of food, 'burning up' calories by exercising, avoiding eating situations, or purging to reduce the amount of food digested.
It's important to understand that people with anorexia have not just lost their appetite. In fact, they may be very hungry indeed. An individual may think about food all the time and may even want to be close to it. Yet, in spite of feeling hungry, a person suffering from anorexia often has a great fear of allowing themselves to eat normally.
It is often difficult for people suffering from anorexia - and others - to understand that anorexic behaviour is not actually about food at all. The driving force behind anorexia is a deep anxiety that life is out of control - and a person may turn to the control of food and weight to gain some sense of control over his or her life. So anorexic behaviour is really an attempt to gain control over some aspect of an individuals' life, through control over food and eating. Although food is an important issue, like all eating disorders, anorexia is actually all about feelings and emotions

Why women?

Anorexia is predominantly a female condition (about 3% of women suffer from anorexia) - only one in every 50 sufferers are male. (For the sake of clarity only, we will refer to individuals in the rest of this page as female - although this is not always the case.) It typically begins in the adolescent girl at or just after puberty, although it can start at any age, even in pre-pubescent children. You may wonder why more women suffer from anorexia than do men? Well, anorexia can be thought of as a symptom of a distorted body image. By 'body image' we mean the way that we see our own bodies, which may be very different to the way that others see us, as our own body image is often different from the actual size and shape of our body. Generally, women are put under a lot more social pressure than are men in respect of their physical appearance, so a womans' body image can play a large role in determining her own sense of well-being.

In many modern societies, a primary ideal attribute for a woman is that of being 'thin'. Thin is seen as being 'beautiful' - and beautiful is seen as being 'good'. Consequently women - and particularly young women - driven by images used in the media, often use their own weight as a measure of their own self worth and attractiveness. Commonly, as a result of being unable to meet this unrealistic 'ideal', the individual female may end up feeling fat and inadequate. In turn, repeated failed attempts to meet the ideal criteria for physical appearance can lead to physical, psychological and behavioural problems, including binge eating, obsessions about food and eating disorders such as anorexia.

What happens

Typically a young person, most usually female, feels overweight. This may be because she is overweight, has gained a little more weight than average at puberty, or has slim friends with whom she compares herself. She decides to go on a diet - this may be triggered by something like a comment by a friend. The diet may go well at first, giving the young person a real sense of achievement at an otherwise insecure time of life. There may be approval from friends or family members, which is a positive form of attention. It's important to note that a person with anorexia did not start dieting with the intention of starving herself. She just may have felt that her life would be better if she lost a few pounds - which it may be for a while. However, with anorexia, at some point in the diet there is a subtle psychological change - which is not experienced by normal dieters - and dieting becomes more intense as the diet goes on.
The dieting behaviour then becomes a private, secret affair, and the individual tries to convince others that she is eating, when in fact she is not. This may involve a lot of deceitful behaviour, such as throwing food away, slipping food off of a plate at mealtimes, or pretending to have eaten elsewhere.
A person developing anorexia will commonly develop rituals around food. This may consist of eating tiny portions of food at specific times of the day, eating the crusts of a sandwich but not the middle, cutting food into small pieces and eating them very slowly. One of the main rituals usually developed in anorexia is self-weighing. Many anorexics weigh themselves several times each day, fearing putting on even an ounce or gram.
Many people who become anorexic develop a compulsion to exercise as their illness progresses. This may take extreme forms such as waking early to do 300 press-ups or going for a 5 mile run. The individual may become an expert in how many calories are burned during an hour of any activity she does.
As the anorexia progresses, the sufferer becomes isolated in her own world. Extreme mood swings may occur. Social life is usually non existent, because of tiredness, depression or fear of situations where she may be forced to eat. All of her thoughts and feelings are centered around food and weight. The anorexic is now in a no-win situation. No matter how thin she is - it is never enough - and if she fails to lose weight, she feels as if she has gained it.

Denial

Anorexia could be called a 'disease of denial' because people with this eating disorder don't see themselves as thin - even though they usually are. Most people who suffer from anorexia feel fat - even when they are dangerously underweight. In denying the illness to others, the anorexic denies it to herself. So long as she is in control, nothing is wrong. The anorexic person will go to great lengths to avoid treatment - which she may see as a conspiracy to make her 'fat'.
It is important to understand that this denial is subconcious. The person suffering from anorexia is not deliberately lying - she genuinely believes that she does not have a problem. She simply cannot see it.

Consequences of Anorexia

Anorexia can cause serious medical problems. Experts estimate that up to 15% of sufferers die from the effects of malnutrition, usually as a result of heart failure, suicide or lack of resistance to illness. The physical effects of anorexia on the body are mostly connected with the effects of starvation. There is lowered resistance to illness, physical weakness, sensitivity to heat and cold and a tendency to bruise easily. Those suffering from anorexia experience digestive problems, as digestion slows up, such as feeling of bloated after eating even small amounts and constipation. Poor digestion may lead to food intolerance creating swelling of the stomach, face or ankles.
Extensive bone loss (osteoporosis) as a result of under nourishment can occur in the early stages of anorexia. There may be shrinkage of the reproductive organs in both men and women, and damage to areas of the brain which are responsible for endocrine production.
As weight is lost, depression sets in and the sufferer often feels intense guilt and anger. It's a vicious circle. Irrational thinking leads to a loss of weight, which starves the brain and produces more irrational thinking. Higher brain functions such as abstract reasoning will decline, and levels of concentration are reduced. This may make it difficult for a person with anorexia to read a book or keep up with a conversation. Where a very large proportion of weight is lost, there is emotional regression to a child-like state.

How it affects the family

Many parents of a child in the early stages of anorexia deny that anything is wrong, even when her behaviour gives rise to concern at school or in people who haven't seen her for a while. This may be because a person with anorexia can become an expert at hiding how much weight she has really lost, or it may be due to a family tendency to avoid discussing personal problems. Then, the parents begin to see that the individual is losing weight dramatically. Her rituals or changed eating habits are noticed. Initial concern quickly turns to real fear as parents see that their child has become apparently bent upon self destruction.
Arguments commonly develop within the family - all centred on the person with anorexia. This individual then becomes the centre of attention within the family, which can seriously affect relationships between other family members. Those suffering from anorexia are usually very good at controlling and manipulating the behaviour of other family members. They may often break promises or lie to themselves and to others about how much they will eat or have eaten. This will cause more friction within the family.
Family members often feel anger, fear, anxiety and helplessness, because they cannot control the behaviour of the person who is anorexic. There may be conflict between the parents as they accuse each other and disagree on methods of containing their child's irrational behaviour. The child with anorexia will usually be hostile to all efforts of her parents to help her.

Recovery

Anorexia is dangerous and it can be fatal. However, recovery is possible. The person suffering from anorexia needs to learn some new life skills, because it is usually the case that the only way an individual with anorexia is able to cope with unpleasant feelings or situations is to starve.

[Sistersteel]

Bulimia


This section describes bulimia in a way that is meaningful both for those who suffer from it and those who do not. If you think that YOU may have bulimia, reading this page will help you to better understand the condition.

What is it?

Bulimia nervosa was first recognised by doctors as an eating disorder in 1979. The name means literally ‘the hunger of an ox’. This 'hunger' is not due to any physical condition, but is an expression of emotional need, or distress.
Typically, a person suffering from bulimia will binge eat a large quantity of food to satisfy this hunger. Then, he or (most usually) she will immediately get rid of the food by vomiting or taking laxatives. After a binge, some bulimia sufferers may starve themselves, reduce their food intake, or take vigorous exercise in an attempt not to gain weight. Individuals with bulimia feel out of control during these periods of binge-eating, and will almost always binge alone because they feel ashamed of their own behaviour.
Bulimia sufferers become trapped in a cycle, where they binge-eat and then purge the food they have eaten by vomiting or using laxatives. These periods of purging are followed by feelings of shame and self-disgust, with promises made to themselves not to binge or purge again. This is followed by a period of starvation, which sets the stage for the next binge - and so the cycle continues.
Binge eating usually consists of eating foods believed to be fattening - and therefore in some way 'forbidden'. Foods typically eaten during a binge will include biscuits, chocolate, crisps, bowls of cereal, large amounts of toast with butter, chips, cakes, ice cream etc. Eating continues until the urge to eat is gone, tension is reduced, the individual feels full, (often to the point of pain), or he/she is interrupted. Sometimes the food is enjoyed, but it is more likely to be eaten quickly, without tasting, and this will be followed by feelings of anxiety, guilt and remorse.

How does it start?

In the majority of sufferers, the emergence of a binge-eating problem, such as seen in bulimia, is directly related to the effects of dieting. Studies have shown that after dieting, no matter whether you are fat or thin, many people find that they are unable to stop eating when full, and develop a preference for foods rich in sugar and fats - the very foods which someone concerned with body size will be anxious to avoid. So, most bulimics see their binge-eating as a loss of self control. This is likely to be felt most acutely by people who either dieted successfully in the past or who were anorexic - and who therefore felt in control around food. Many people are dismayed at the loss of control and so may attempt to vomit after a particular binge. Or sometimes, they try vomiting because they have heard about it in the media. Vomiting becomes a way of dealing with the guilt of having over-eaten - of dealing with the secret greedy person inside without showing her on the outside.
Initially, vomiting is only undertaken when a binge occurs accidentally, but in later stages it becomes more frequent, giving the individual the means to eat to bursting point - without putting on weight. Eventually, binges and purges will be planned well in advance, or may become a necessary part of the daily routine, with time being specifically set aside for the ritual of eating and vomiting.
The act of binge-eating may provide a release of tension in the early stages of bulimia. Eating therefore provides a way to relieve stress - and becomes a habit which is difficult to break. Since vomiting also relieves anxiety after a binge, in later stages bulimia sufferers may experience the urge to vomit when they are angry, tired or upset. The individual becomes 'hooked' on the binge-eating and purging. Normal coping skills are given up or replaced by bulimic behaviour.
Like all eating disorders, bulimia is a complex condition with no easily identifiable 'cause'. However, some situations have been identified that may lead to bulimic behaviour. These are:


Sexual abuse in childhood or later sexual trauma.
Putting on a large amount of weight at puberty.
Having a mother who is overly concerned with weight and dieting.
Major life events, such as divorce in the family, bereavement, leaving school, relationship breakdown.
Hostility within families, expressed as arguments, marital breakdown, physical violence, or abandonment.

Therefore, to understand bulimia, we shouldn't see it simply as an extreme fear of being fat. Nor should we view it as a moral weakness or a failure of willpower. It is not. This is why repeated promises to stop bingeing so often fail. The different aspects of bulimia, - the food cravings, binge-eating, vomiting, self-disgust and guilt are demonstrating, as a whole, emotional difficulty in coping with some past or present situation, such as those listed above. Bulimia may be expressing personal distress concerned with unmet emotional needs, feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem or lack of control over some aspect of the individuals' life.

Who suffers?

Bulimia typically occurs in young women aged around 18 years, particularly those who are well educated, although sufferers may be from the early teens to late sixties. Men represent 5% of officially reported cases. The large proportion of bulimia sufferers who are women reflect - as in the case of anorexia - the greater pressures on women in our society to control their weight. Also, well-educated women tend to value being 'thin' and may be more perfectionist, thus making them more critical of how they look. In some cases, the relationship between parents and daughter leads to suppression of needs, denial of feelings (particularly anger) and body insecurity - all of which may be expressed in bulimic behaviour.
Bulimia in men is more likely to be associated with conflicts over sexual identity. Younger men, unsure of their own masculinity often try to emulate sporting 'masculine' role models such as famous cyclists or athletes.
People suffering from bulimia often have low self esteem, a fear of inadequacy and a need to gain the approval of others. The individual will usually see herself as being kind, lacking in confidence and unassertive.

Secrecy

Bulimia could be called a 'disease of secrecy', as it is common for people with bulimia to feel so embarrassed and ashamed by their behavior that they will desperately try to hide it from others. As the sufferer will vomit or otherwise purge food eaten during a binge, or exercise excessively to prevent weight gain, their weight may not fluctuate much, which can make it difficult to tell when someone is suffering from bulimia.

Consequences of bulimia

Bulimia can cause serious medical problems. Some of these are life threatening and include:

Tearing of the oesophagus caused by forced vomiting or recurrent stomach acid in the throat,
Bleeding of the stomach or intestines,
Kidney problems,
Loss of colon function
Chronic stomach problems.

Some people with an eating disorder have symptoms of both bulimia and anorexia. This can be especially dangerous because of the combined effects of severely restricting food intake and purging.

Recovery

Any individual with bulimia can return to healthy eating, no matter how long they have been binge eating and purging. Also, most of the physical side effects of the illness will disappear once a normal eating pattern is resumed.

[Sistersteel]

Binge Eating
Compulsive Overeating


This page is written for everyone - for those who suffer from an overeating disorder and those who do not. If you think that YOU may have some form of overeating disorder, reading this page may help you to understand what is happening.
There are two main variations of eating disorder related to overeating.
Binge Eating Disorder (BED)
Like bulimia, Binge Eating Disorder has only been recognised as a distinct condition in recent years - it was first acknowledged as an eating disorder in 1992. BED is similar in some ways to bulimia, but the main difference between BED and bulimia is that an individual suffering from BED will binge on food uncontrollably, but does not vomit or purge the food in any other way, as would someone suffering from bulimia.

Compulsive Overeating


Compulsive Overeating is a variation of BED, when an individual will eat - even at times when they are not hungry. This may happen all the time - i.e. most of the day, every day - or it may come and go in cycles. The main difference between compulsive overeating and BED is that the compulsive overeater does not eat in binges. At times, he or she may eat more or less continuously.


What happens?

It is important to understand that compulsive and binge eating are very different from 'normal' overeating, which may be fostered by lifestyle, family or genetic factors. The onset of BED or CO usually (but not always) follows a period of dieting. In very general terms, a diet - that may be have been undertaken to boost low self-esteem - can lead to overeating, where it becomes difficult to stop eating when full and the individual experiences cravings for sugar. Although this is a natural reaction of the body to dieting, these cravings are seen as 'bad' to the dieter, whose self-esteem falls even lower and who tries even harder to control his or her eating.
Binge-eating causes a rapid increase in the level of glucose in the blood and this makes the pancreas produce extra insulin - the hormone which controls blood sugar. As a result, blood sugar levels then fall dramatically - no matter how much has been eaten - giving the body the false impression that more glucose is urgently required. Therefore, the craving for sugar - in the form of food - continues.
Unable to understand what is happening to his or her body, the dieter blames herself for a perceived lack of self-control. The sufferer of BED then becomes trapped in a cycle of bingeing - guilt - restraint - bingeing. Eventually, the BED becomes a symbolic way of trying to deal with any emotional problems that the sufferer may experience, such as coping with stress, anxiety, anger, low self-esteem or other emotional difficulties.
The Compulsive Overeater follows a similar path to that of the BED sufferer, where overeating disturbs the normal blood sugar level until a continous desire to eat is present. As in BED, Compulsive Overeating may become a symbolic way of trying to deal with emotional difficulties.

Who suffers?

It is believed that many more people suffer from binge eating disorder than either anorexia or bulimia nervosa. BED or Compulsive Overeating affects all ages and both sexes, although women sufferers are more aware of it and are more worried about the consequences of overeating disorders than are men.
Most people who are compulsive eaters are overweight or obese, and may use their weight or appearance as a shield they can hide behind to avoid social interaction. Some others hide behind a happy or jolly façade to avoid admitting that they may have an eating problem.
Stress, anxiety and other similar conditions can create a situation whereby a person might turn to binging on food as a coping mechanism.

Consequences

Because of the amount of food eaten, many people with BED or CO become obese. This inevitably leads to health problems such as heart disease, stomach problems, diabetes, back pain, respiratory difficulties and circulation problems. Extreme obesity leads to restricted mobility and general lack of fitness.

Sufferers of BED and CO often have great shame at being unable to control the compulsion to eat. Depression is very common for people with these eating disorders. As are panic attacks, lack of concentration, hopelessness and anxiety.


Obsessive and compulsive behaviour around food and the eating of food can take over an individuals' life. Common traits include obsessive thoughts about food, self-weighing several times a day, eating at the same time every day, arranging food in a certain order, or always eating in the same place. Such behaviour can increase the isolation and sense of despair felt by an individual.

Recovery

Binge Eating Disorder and Compulsive Overeating are serious conditions. Nevertheless, a return to healthy eating is possible, given appropriate professional support.

[Sistersteel]

Relationship with food


Firstly, we can see that anorexia, bulimia and overeating all occur when a person's relationship with food has become dysfunctional - that is, it has become unhealthy - and harmful.


This dysfunctional relationship with food takes different forms in the three conditions.

A person with Anorexia is fearful about eating food.
A person with Bulimia binges, then purges food.
A person with BED or CO eats to excess.

We have seen that the dysfunctional relationship with food has usually come about because the individual is suffering from some sort of emotional distress.


Emotional distress


We have seen that these three conditions are linked to emotional distress of one kind or another. Again, this distress takes different forms.

A person with Anorexia usually has a distorted body image - this leads to intense dissatisfaction with his/her perceived physique.

The binging and purging of a person with Bulimia is often driven by guilt, shame and self-hatred concerning the perceived loss of control.

The overeating of a person with BED or CO is commonly a search for comfort, or relief from anxiety or stress.


So we can say that these eating disorders are not really about food at all - they are about internal emotional distress, which has led to this dysfunctional relationship with food. These dis functional relationships with food may sometimes be driven by a search for control (as seen in Anorexia and Bulimia), or a search for relief from stress (as seen in Bulimia and BED/CO), or a search for comfort (as seen in BED/CO).


A factor common to all three eating disorders that we have looked at here is that of body image and the desire to be 'thin'. Most cases of eating disorder have their roots in an attempt to diet.



Body image and women


Eating disorders are commonly viewed as being confined to young women.
There can be no doubt that women - and particularly young women - in most modern societies experience considerable social pressure regarding their appearance. As we said earlier, being 'thin' is seen as being 'beautiful' - and being beautiful is seen as being 'good'.


Consequently, young women often use their weight as a measure of their own self worth and attractiveness. Commonly, as a result of being unable to meet the unrealistic ideals often portrayed by the media, a young woman may end up feeling fat and inadequate. They may then attempt to diet in order to achieve the 'ideal' appearance. Repeated failed attempts by dieting to meet the ideal criteria for physical appearance can lead to emotional and behavioral problems, including binge eating, obsessions about food and eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia.


The emotional distress that drives most eating disorders is often largely concerned, in one way or another, with the way that the individual woman sees her own body.

[GirlyMuscle]

Wow....binge eating...is me to the letter! Help! I need to start my contest diet May 30th. I don't want to fall into this trap again.

[Sistersteel]

Wow....binge eating...is me to the letter! Help! I need to start my contest diet May 30th. I don't want to fall into this trap again.

Wat would be awesome would be if you actually considered maybe starting a journal of emotional responses to your diet on here :) I was actually thinking of doing that myself honestly. Then yo can pop in on a daily basis and rather document training and diet, you can document how you are feeling on a day to day basis about your eating habits.

I can start one with you if you like :)


No pressure! Just a suggestion :)

[GirlyMuscle]

I'll have to think about it. I would love to do that and have the help but certain people on the internet have taken to bashing me on other sites. I know that wouldn't happen here because it would not be allowed but it does happen on other boards and I have been the butt of jokes on these other forums. I'm not sure I want to give them any more fuel for their fire. This chick is only so tuff before things like that really hurt.

[Sistersteel]

awww I feel you believe me. I will go ahead and start one then and maybe you can drop by and check it out from time to time. I know how it is on the net believe me. The only boards I frequent are the ones I work on. I have been crucified too and yes, it can be frustrating and hurtful. That was what inspired me to make that post a while back about the way I felt in regards to the things we have to deal with in this sport. Shit only a couple of days ago I made a post in the FL asking to ban DrMuscle for these exact same reasons.

This reminds me of something funny you might enjoy. I will post it here for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTZ8OFZmWfk

[GirlyMuscle]

I love it Sister!!!! Thank you!

YTZ8OFZmWfk

[Angela123]

that is a very good idea ss. i know for me personally...writing it down helps. well...not entirely..it doesnt totally take away the depression and pain im feeling at the moment but at least i am letting it all out. i hate holding shit in. there is one person who i txt in regards to my binging, negative body image and depression...i always say, "no need to reply...i just need to let it out." lol. it just feels good to let it out.

writing/txting it helps. sometimes i write shit down only to rip it up and throw it out 5 min later. it just makes me feel better to express my emotions.

i would totally make a journal for that. maybe i will.

ss, on a happy note...i have been so GOOD the last 4-6 wks. in regards to my depression i feel from my body image and binging. in the past few months...the littlest mess ups (for example, if i ate a lot of cheese) on my daily diet would cause me so much pain...but for the last month or so...ive had mess ups and yes even a few binges (though, my binges are no where near as bad as they used to be) and i have not been that depressed! i dont feel the need to cancel all plans for the day and stay in bed or to make myself sleep all day so i dont have to think about how fat i feel or how mad i am at myself for binging.

yesterday i ate so much candy...so, so, so much. if this was 2 months ago, i would have been a wreck today. but i am not. yes i do still feel 'fat' today and im a little down in regards to my emotions (but just 'normal' down, not horribly sad) and i think my face looks more bloated which i HATE...but im not in a depressed funk and im not putting my life on hold today bc i ate so much food yesterday.

ok..i guess i did just sort of post as if i was posting in a journal. it was my way of writing it all down to get it off my chest...in regards to the the candy binge and how i feel today.

[Suzy Brown]

The thing that was so tough for me is pretty rare... orthorexia. I was consumed with the idea that by only eating certain foods at certain times of the day, prepared certain ways, I'm be clean & pure & holy& more evolved/ enlightened. Totally sucked! I couldn't eat in restaurants, at all, period. I had to be in a certain mood to cook, no one could say negative things while I was chopping, meals had to be totally tranquil and never any bickering -- if there was, food went into the trash. My utensils were 100% mine, and very specific -- this is my carrot knife, this is my "bread" knife. Once a co-worker took my lettuce knife and was about to use it on her food and I ran across the room and pried it from her fat fingers, screetching at her like a mad woman. She didn't know WTF was up... big disgusting obese girl, always ate the most repugnant food. I was insane!



ooh! TMI, rambled...

[Suzy Brown]

yesterday i ate so much candy...so, so, so much. if this was 2 months ago, i would have been a wreck today. but i am not. yes i do still feel 'fat' today and im a little down in regards to my emotions (but just 'normal' down, not horribly sad) .

Ditto, so so so so much crapola.
It was all I could do today to go back to Dave's diet, because I really wanted to do a 37 day juice fast. *yea I know, don't look at me like that*

[Angela123]

no, i am not. i have so many books on fasting and detoxing. ive always wanted to try one but i never have.

interesting. i actually have never heard of that. let me see if i can get it. it evolved more so around the prepping of food. were u obsessed with cals, fat, food and being skinny like anorexics? how did u look at the time? did u appear to have a 'normal' weight, like some of those who suffer from bulimia and binge eating. how long did u suffer from it? did u start out suffering from anorexia or from another ED, then evolved into that?

many anorexics have those traits. anorexics have very rigid regiments when it comes to food. but i guess if you are not emancipated and if you dont starve yourself yet show those traits, then it wouldnt be anorexia. hence the new ED...orthorexia. where you anorexic then got better physically but worsened in the way of prepping food. thus, becoming orthoreixa?

u dont have to answer if you dont want to.

[Suzy Brown]

Its always the same story with ED -- I felt damaged & overwelmed and I sought to control my world & my life with one thing I COULD control, what went into my mouth.
But it differs in that its more about the idea of being clean & pure, less about weight or body image. I thought, it will sound weird, that God loves a person who restricts their food/ diet.... that God wants people to eat certain foods, and if you eat the right things, you'll purify your body and be more holy.

I was very thin, and not particularly healthy.

I was into eating raw, organic, vegan, that sort of thing, and thoughts were super important... that if someone had (for example) cursed or looked angry while touching the food, it was ruined, would rot in my gut, give me zero health benefits. I had to shop every single day, often meal by meal...

I suppose it was more OCD than ED?

[Angela123]

interesting.

again...you dont have to answer....were you a very religious person at the time? if you were, are you still?

[Suzy Brown]

Not me myself, but both my parents' families. It was definitly partly from their weird ideals. My cousins & I often joke about being raised in a cult. (my mom's family was LITERALLY in a cult)

At that time I was pretty deep into a certain way of thinking that might be more accuratly called 'spiritual' rather than 'religious'. Again, I was just looking for order & control because I felt so helpless & worthless, had nothing to define myself by.