... and then the fight started...

[Gaoshang Xiongshou]

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping through the channels.

She asked, "What's on TV"?

I said, "Dust".

... and then the fight started...

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My wife and I were watching 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' while we were in bed.

I turned to her and asked, "Do you want to have sex?"

She answered, "No."

I asked, "Is that your final answer?"

She did not even look at me, and simply replied, "Yes."

So I said, "Then, I'd like to phone a friend."

... and then the fight started.

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Saturday morning, I got up early, quietly dressed, made lunch, grabbed the dog, and quietly slipped into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the car, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
And whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

[Gaoshang Xiongshou]

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said,"I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

[Dan Rek]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started....

************************************************** **********************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton y our shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

************************************************** *********************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'M y God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

************************************************** *********************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

[baby gorilla]

A husband comes in and yells, "Honey! Pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!"

His wife yells back, "But should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"

The husband replies, "I don't care! Just GET THE FUCK OUT!"