I think I finally f'd up!

[MrOXY]

whats up boys its been a long time since I been on this board seems like everything changed from what I see but still this is a place I feel like at home online with a lotta good guys on here ,, anyways
a lot has changed for me since the good ole days when I was always posting on here , went through a transition phase in life lost both my parents within a year and a half relocated to a new province here in Canada stopped the endless pain killer pill popping booze filled rampages
that became normal for me at one point no more drinking no weed nothing .. started a new phase in life since I suffered those losses with promises of being a better man and following the rules etc ..

not long ago for many years ive made the right connections and in a very short time and connected myself to the very top of the Canadian juice market boss that controls 3 qtrs. of the Canadian market seriously .. imagine the godfather of gear i was connected to him and givin that had a surplus amounts of high quality gear human grade high grade ugl and endless options of hgh and igf kits before they were sold in surplus via these peptide company's .. .. believe me most of you could never imagine being around that much gear on and endless basis at my disposal

having started my first virgin cycle at 17 OR 18 using winni clen and Tren ace mmm my fav which i used in every single stack to this very day ,starting at 200 lbs at 13 years old and going up to 273 lbs in power lifter mode at one point all standing at 5"8 , doing the safest cycles to never coming off and using every oral all in abundance and higher doses most could never imagine for periods of 9 months and longer and never ever doing pct ... there's almost nothing that is left for me to use .. I've used it all many times over and over again . i think i just fucked myself up im not Kevlar like i used to be in my early 20s ..

here i am turning 29 before xmas and will be sitting in the hospital like i have been the last 3 weeks getting iv antibiotics 3 times a day to cure an infection ..or inflammation .. they don't really know ......

[heavyiron]

What are your symptoms brother?

Are you using anything at the moment?

[MrOXY]

here is my full post .....







whats up boys its been a long time since I been on this board seems like everything changed from what I see but still this is a place I feel like at home online with a lotta good guys on here ,, anyways
a lot has changed for me since the good ole days when I was always posting on here , went through a transition phase in life lost both my parents within a year and a half relocated to a new province here in Canada stopped the endless pain killer pill popping booze filled rampages
that became normal for me at one point no more drinking no weed nothing .. started a new phase in life since I suffered those losses with promises of being a better man and following the rules etc ..

not long ago for many years ive made the right connections and in a very short time and connected myself to the very top of the Canadian juice market boss that controls 3 qtrs. of the Canadian market seriously .. imagine the godfather of gear i was connected to him and givin that had a surplus amounts of high quality gear human grade high grade ugl and endless options of hgh and igf kits before they were sold in surplus via these peptide company's .. .. believe me most of you could never imagine being around that much gear on and endless basis at my disposal

having started my first virgin cycle at 17 OR 18 using winni clen and Tren ace mmm my fav which i used in every single stack to this very day ,starting at 200 lbs at 13 years old and going up to 273 lbs in power lifter mode at one point all standing at 5"8 , doing the safest cycles to never coming off and using every oral all in abundance and higher doses most could never imagine for periods of 9 months and longer and never ever doing pct ... there's almost nothing that is left for me to use .. I've used it all many times over and over again . i think i just fucked myself up im not Kevlar like i used to be in my early 20s ..

here i am turning 29 before xmas and will be sitting in the hospital like i have been the last 3 weeks getting iv antibiotics 3 times a day to cure an infection ..or inflammation .. they don't really know ......
it started 6 weeks ago i went into a walk in clinic to get a nagging phlem caugh checked . did bloodwork etc and came back a few days later with the doctor not giving a fuck about my phlem caugh telling me my liver enzymes are high high thyroid high cholesterol and blood pressure was at about 170 at that time .. he had said to be something is wrong with my heart and telling me something about most ppl having a level 5 risk factor for heart attack and stroke and that my level was at a 14 the highest he has seen in his entire career ... i told him my hearts good he said that i can just drop and die .. that kind of got to me afterwards while i was sitting in the car ,, im not Kevlar like i used to be things are different as im getting older now ... he told me stop the roids change diet etc and come back in 3 weeks for new blood work otherwise ill have to start taking heart meds and cholesterol meds for the rest of my life ......givin that i moved to a new province i left everything behind my lifestyle my links to gear and my bad habits .... i ordered for the very first time off a site and got a few bottles of gear some low quality test and deca blends and some very good tren hex .... now i was using the tren hex and noticed a very small particle in the vial it almost looked like a black pepper and it wasn't the rubber as the rubber was gray ... ive had products in the past long ago with specks of shit in there and would just avoid them when injecting and never had a problem ... so i was using this vial for about 4 weeks with the black particle in it with no problem and amazing gains ..and on my very last shot stupid me lost track of that and well did a 1 and a half inch shot in the ass ....................... that's when i fucked up
3 days went by had some pip on the 4th day wow it was bad in a matter of days from that point my glute became huge inflamed massive rock hard my leg was fucked i couldn't sit in a car i couldn't walk or bend it it was swole as fuck to a major degree .. i walked in to a clinic the doc was cool gave me some oral anto biotics and i thought i was good .. no it got worse i cant even explain . so i walked into the emergency was in and out for a few days did various tests ultra sounds ct scan ... saw 3 doctors that all contradicted each other ... 1 said there's something towards my sciatic nerve in the lower glute hamstring tie in area, the next doctors said they saw 2 spots of minor abscess in two different areas and they injected 2 needles and tried to aspirate it but unfortunately it was too deep .... the next day after the ct scan the doctor says there nothing there and its just inflamed all bruised and here i am wondering what to believe ... the attempt at aspirating the area alleviated the pain but the swelling and bruising and risticted range of motion was severe and remained i was sent home daily waking up with severe nightsweats extreme pain and having a massive area of bruising traveling up and down my body and spreading to my lower spine and re aggravating my sciatic nerve injury which i self healed a few years ago .. my god the pain this is but its normal ... now since then its been about 3 weeks and im going to the iv clinic and getting anti biotics and toradrol in the veins and only now seems like to be working internally i guess .. but loosing 20 lbs having no appetite no sleep and not being fully secure with the professionals that are looking over me ... seems like they don't know what exactly it is and what's going on with me ... ive always used clean injecting procedures and i know that this time i injected this piece of shit in me and its fukking me up hard .. will be spending my birthday xmas and new years in the hospital 3 times a day getting meds through my veins wondering when will this end what if this does not work what's next ... with nothing real to live for no kids no wife just a rotten semi bi polar bitch .. no dogs no family ... do i stop the gear ??? i will stop the abuse that's for sure but then again with the severe injuries i live with using deca and test is what allows me to function a normal life rather then being bed riddin addicted to pills ... life is precious gift and perhaps i think im at the point where ive wasted it .. do i stop and attempt to get my balls to work again and live normal and on creatine suffering in pain .. or do i max out what's left givin all the problems i have and live for now and fuck the future .. im at the crossroads .. deep down inside i hope this can be fixed or reversed and i can live normal and breed this rotten bitch with a few kids but if i come off the gear i might as well commit suicide get me a wheel chair and be addicted to perks .. ,... anyways moral of this story is life is a gift don't waste it like i did .. ...
thanks to anybody reading this and any comments and input is appreciated i gotta go for round 3 of anti biotic

["Rodz"]

Jesus Bro!!! hope they get u fixed up.

[joe d]

hang in there man. your still young. make things better.

[s2h]

Sorry to hear Oxy...why didn't they drain the abscess?...if your getting IV antibiotics 3 times ed....I would think they might want to get to the root of the problem...

Good to hear your dumped the wild life...things will improve...at your age I was in some of the same situations...the fast life style caught up to myself...just gotta buckle down....the mind is the strongest weapon you have...popping beans your whole life isn't a good future....you know it and I know it....all it leads to is more abuse....

Get a dog....they are mans best friend....I had one during my hard times...they will never judge you....

Keep in touch brother....

[cook]

best wishes Oxy

[Pitbull9]

Amazing honesty and post OP i am so so sorry about your parents i cant express it enough. I lost my grandparents the same way almost a few months apart and to this day the pain hasnt gotten any better.

I truly hope you can recover and imo i believe if you do get a second chance fuck the gear and have a great life with kids and a wife and all that bullshit lol. Like you said life is very precious and we only get one. I love being jacked just like anyone else here but life is more important than being jacked.

[Granite-Dawg]

Oxy, I wish you the best. Sorry for your losses. Do you have any children?

[bushmaster]

Good luck and avoid the perc life like the plague. Oxy can ruin any anyone and its just a money pit!

[Swiper]

oxy! it's good to hear from you. unfortunately not under the best of circumstances, but hang in there, see how things play out. I wish you all the best.

[MrOXY]

What are your symptoms brother?

Are you using anything at the moment?

symptoms are the same for the most part just subsided a bit but still have extreame bruising wrapped around my hams inner thighs and calves along with a huge area of rock hard tensed glute and more bruising and swelling along the lower back and spine ... .. im finding natural alternatives to help ease the daily intravenious anti biotics like a probiotic garlic pills natural anti inflamitories ...perhaps there are other things that may benefit me i dnt know ,,, and ive dropped my gear a great deal the last 2 weeks and will continue to pin 250 mg deca and about 450 of test to help keep me strong and not fall victim to the endless painkillers that are being prescribed

Jesus Bro!!! hope they get u fixed up.

hang in there man. your still young. make things better.

thank you boys i really appreciate the kind words

Sorry to hear Oxy...why didn't they drain the abscess?...if your getting IV antibiotics 3 times ed....I would think they might want to get to the root of the problem...

Good to hear your dumped the wild life...things will improve...at your age I was in some of the same situations...the fast life style caught up to myself...just gotta buckle down....the mind is the strongest weapon you have...popping beans your whole life isn't a good future....you know it and I know it....all it leads to is more abuse....

Get a dog....they are mans best friend....I had one during my hard times...they will never judge you....

Keep in touch brother....

the thing is that ive since this has started in the beginning ive seen 3 different emerg docs and specialists and each of them contradict eachother with their guesses as to whats going on .. the first ultrasound had the doctor doing a thourogh check and seeing something deep at the bottom of the glute and hamstring tie in area which was the most extreme pain ive ever experienced while attempting to drive or sit down and seems to have triffered my siatic nerve pain ,, had another ultra sound the next day in the er and the doc found 2 areas of pus not pus i dnt know but he said there was nothing in the area where the first doctor had seen the day before , so he injected two pins deep in those areas of my glute and made attempt to asprate it out but it was too deep for him to get at.. while that attempt did alleviate serious pain pressure and swelling but there was no confidence as to what was going on in me .. the following day i was sent for a ct scan and that er doc was pretty cool and told me that there was no pus anywhere which was good but it was all inflamed and he says i must have injected into a vein and that's why i have such severe bruising the was spreading daily all the way up and down my leg and back but he seemed confused as to why the bruising was spreading up to my back and contradicted the first to doctors ..... so im here not sure whats going on and everybody has their guesses he did send me to the IV clinic at that point and ive been going daily 3 times a day for about 2 and half 3 weeks and will continue indeffinatly wondering when or if i can get back to normal ... i miss my dogs back home my boy max he was killed a few months before my mom passed in my arms ...and my girl xena who was with me every step of the way i had to rehome her the same day i had my flight out of Toronto to a new province in hopes of a new life ... i know what a dog brings and once i get better i will deffinatly get another one by my side ..

best wishes Oxy

thank you brother

Amazing honesty and post OP i am so so sorry about your parents i cant express it enough. I lost my grandparents the same way almost a few months apart and to this day the pain hasnt gotten any better.

I truly hope you can recover and imo i believe if you do get a second chance fuck the gear and have a great life with kids and a wife and all that bullshit lol. Like you said life is very precious and we only get one. I love being jacked just like anyone else here but life is more important than being jacked.

thank you for the words and im sorry for you loss as well.. loosing two loved ones those ones our parents grandparents brings a pain and emptiness that can never be filled but the thought of knowing that their watching down on us is the only reason to move forward and make em proud .. that time is coming that i have to say fuk the gear perhaps if i get another chance but then again i dnt know cause the severe pain from injuries like severe trauma to the head severe neck and spine injuries makes me wanna commit suicide then to have to continue to endure that life numbing pain ... gear helps me alleviate the pain and strengthon the weakness and allow me to become a normal functioning human rather then a bed ridden vegitable ... the abuse has to stop and will .. i may just stay on low dose test c and deca for life but if my balls were to ever work again and i had a blessing of having a child then id have to stop it all and live for them and become a normal man and do the normal bullshit that were destend to do

Oxy, I wish you the best. Sorry for your losses. Do you have any children?

thank you .. i may have some children i just don't know of them .. rotton ex 1 night stand bitches .. if i had kids id have a real reason to live but at this moment i dnt know why to live

Good luck and avoid the perc life like the plague. Oxy can ruin any anyone and its just a money pit!

thank you yes i know exactly what it can do to somebody and it keeps me away ive never had an addictive personality which is why i was always able to turn off any past drug use or pain killer abuse in the past cold turkey

oxy! it's good to hear from you. unfortunately not under the best of circumstances, but hang in there, see how things play out. I wish you all the best.

thank you swiper yea it would have been better under different circimstances but aw well im still here ... getting tired of making daily treks to the hospital 3 times a day in minue 30 degree artic cold .. tired of no sleep tired of not having a real appitite and dropping 20 lbs and not being able to go to the gym my sanctuary maybe soon but who knows all i can do is play it out and see what happens and i do believe that im in the right place that's for sure and this anti biotic iv is definatly doing its course very slow but still .. sucks that i will spend my bday xmas and new years in the hospital like this but aw well ...



now being assigned a specialist in internal medicine and my goodness is she fucking hot wow ..shes good at what she does but had no idea about roids when i was openly discussing it all to here all while having my pants down lol ,, she did give me a lot of bloodwork wanting to test everything there is possible next week and she seems to have a genuwine concern and care for whats happening to me .. i over heard they think i may have a blood disorder well see .. i wish i could get my shrivled up dick to get hard when all these hot nurses purposully ask me to inspect my legs "to cover their ass" is what the one an hr ago said to me lol .. i was flirting with them as they flirt with me but i get fuked over when i have tp drop my pants and let em peep my hairy ass and my empty balls ... ill keep on taking clomid and hcg perhaps bump up the dose that cant hurt maybe pop some proviron this wed when that hot specialist inspects me haha ... oh and i did do another heart exam this morning and that has me a bit concerned.. it was an echo cardiogram and i was expecting another hot nurse to come get me but nooooooooo here came jack black wearing scrubs and having grizzley bear hairy arms holding me as he was using the machine to inspect my heart .. i looked up a few times and looked like he was marking many areas of problems in my heart as it beat ... i asked him and he refused to tell me but i got the hint that im fuked up ...... when i think about it ive had access to tons of gh and more so high quality igf 1 lr3 kits and ive been fourtunate that that time i guess to be able to use a vial or 2 vials a day during different phases and many months with no break .. i wonder if that enlarged my heart especially the igf .... the gains were incredible with my various dosing protocalls but here i am today wondering if it was worth it while im all fucked up .. it must have played a role in my downward demise who knows ...

i truly believe i injected some black particle in my upper outter glute i really know deep down that is what did it to me .. stupid me was careless when using that last drop of tren hex which was amazing but look at me now haha .. i wonder and ask the doctors what would happen if after im done this treatment and if i get better will i live a normal life withough falling back into severe sickness and they just don't know theres no confidence there i was told ppl live with shrapnel inside them but this aint no shrapnel id welcome shrapnel in my eyes to replace whatever is happening to me .. i wonder if i may have injected that particle if shit into a vein and it may be lodged there .. i cant get no answeres to such questions as there doctors are unfamiliar with whats going on with me ... who knows well see ill post here and log my jurney into death or into a new life only god knows ... and boys and girls don't ever do anything that ive done .. respect your bodies and respect your gear most importantly .. time to knock out

[Bdon]

Get well. Have a safe recovery brother! You will be fine. I am certain you'll recover just fine!

[s2h]

You will be fine....I got that feeling...

[sebaco2011]

I hope you make it nice and healthy AND I hope you bone those hot females in that clinic!!