Golly Gee, It’s Great To Work At MD!! By Puppet McGough

[Octavius]

Well, good golly gee. This scribe just love’s working at MD. Let me tell you just how great it is. Yesterday Blechy, Carlo Rizzi and Dan Swallowman took the afternoon off to celebrate our latest boost in FaceBook likes. In just one day we added 50,000 likes! Holy moly! And whats even more neat, is that they were all from the same little town in Kazakstan! Who would have known that there were so many Kazak bodybuilding fans?

Well, Blechy wasn’t surprised at all. That Blechy… He really knows his stuff. Rizzi says we’ll probably have 50,000 more from the same town next week too! Boy it sure feels great to be liked in Kazakstan… because it matters!

So back to the celebration. We hit the local bathhouse as usual. As we were sweating it out in the steam room, somehow Blechy’s hair stayed exactly in the same place, despite the dense moisture in the room. So I had to ask, “Hey Blechy, how does your hair stay so picture perfect?”

“Well Puppet,” he replied, “I just comb it down with sleaze every morning. You should try it... RIZZI!!!! Go get Puppet some sleaze!”

“But Adiner took the last vat of sleaze down to Texas last week” replied Rizzi.

“Rizzi, you clueless POS,” shouts Blechy. “Tell Swallowman to quit giving you a back rub and go down into the basement and you’’ll find a vat of sleaze bigger than the the state of Long Island! Swallowman will show you, he went swimming in it yesterday.”

Blechy clears his throat, looks back at me and explains, “we got the sleaze from our graphic designer… Speaking of … RIZZI! Where is Whinerbrecker?”

Ricci and Swallowman who have returned with a five gallon tub of sleaze reply, “Whiner stayed late at the office to download some excel files from your computer and then was slinking over to NPC News to drop something off. He said he’d slither over here soon with this weeks statistics from FlewOnline.”

“Ok then,” Blechy pauses to pour me some sleaze. “What about Adiner!!!! Where is she?”

“Don’t you remember, Blechy?” replies Rizzi. “She’s out getting the scoop on Kai Greene’s glutes. She has been sitting in the bottom of that porta—potty outside Kai’s gym for the last week.”

“She’s still there?” replies Blechy. “That assignment should have taken no longer than a day! Did you remember to put the ‘Out of Order” sign on the restroom inside the gym?”

“Uhh… no.”

“Damnit Ricci! We need that Kai Green glute photo for next month’s cover!!! Now get over there and help Adiner!”

Blechy sits back against the wall to send a text to Gregg Valentino to inform the rambling freak that he is fired after over a decade of working at MD. Then immediately afterwards sends a text to Chris Aceto asking, “Why Cut Back?”

“I got the shot!” Adiner triumphantly calls out as she suddenly bursts into the steam room.

“Good God! What is that SMELL!!?” screams Blechy. “Adiner, you are covered in feces! Quick…” he gestures towards the vat I hold cradled between my knees. “Cover yourself in sleaze. It won’t totally get rid of the mess, but if you do it right, it can mask the stench temporarily.”

After Adiner slathers herself with sleaze from the vat Blechy asks, "Now Adiner, about your last photo column in the mag. How come all the people in the photos are smiling except for two blurry ones of Kai Greene and Cedric McMillan??? They are staring off the page with looks of betrayal and disgust. That doesn’t make us look good. Why can’t you make them smile?”

“Okay Blechy,” she responds. “Want to see the photo of Kai’s glutes now?”

“Just a minute. I want you to write a testimonial for our fat burner product by tomorrow. You know, the one that you lost two pound with.”

“You mean the stuff I took that made me vomit and have diarrhea for three weeks straight?”

“Yes! That’s the one. I told you it would work. Now get that testimonial on my desk first thing tomorrow.” Blechy relaxed a little.

“Now Puppet! I want you to write a story like Swallowman’s article that we posted yesterday. Title it “Golly Gee, I Love Working at MD! And don’t forget to lather yourself up with sleaze first. I’ll have Rizzi send you a few buckets later tonight.



to be continued…

[Joel's hamburger]

Like button?

[Musclepapa John]

That's some biting mean spirited humor right thar.

[Vince Goodrum]

Peter is one of the best writers out there and someone who doesn't need to kiss anyone's ass. That's why he makes the big bucks and doesn't give a fuck about a 6th rate website

[Musclepapa John]

Peter is one of the best writers out there and someone who doesn't need to kiss anyone's ass. That's why he makes the big bucks and doesn't give a fuck about a 6th rate website

You don't have to agree with your employer certainly to make big bucks, but to quote Peter McGough on points he wrote about MD and has never retracted to my knowledge publicly,

1)"That Blechman, whose title has circulation numbers of about 30,000 at best, would adopt such a clumsy unprofessional manner in his meeting with David Pecker, who oversees a group of titles with circulation numbers in the millions, and then be party to concocting a ludicrous account of that lunch meeting, defies reason, but is not surprising for observers of the usual lowbrow train wreck that is MD."

2)the magazine has morphed 180 degrees into a pro-drugs, sleazy rag that, at its heart, undermines the physical accomplishments of the very bodybuilders it attempts to profile.

3)To his sensibilities, Joe and Ben [Weider] and all the staff members who have been with the titles have worked too hard, pouring their life’s blood into them, for him to even consider selling them to someone like Blechman, who would promptly run them into the ground. It would be like selling a Ferrari to a 15 year old on a learner’s permit.

4)I’ve never been renowned as a butt-kisser and — just as Blechman & Co., are past the point of cultivating fair reporting and ethics — I’m too old to learn now.

5) So go ahead you self-styled crusaders for bodybuilding, ban us from your contest. Oh, wait; Blechman’s commitment to the sport doesn’t extend to that level.

6) And on that point, Steve, besides a magazine that glorifies drug abuse, slogs through details of sex and excretory acts and whines like a petulant child, just what is your contribution to bodybuilding?

[lurkerlj]

Are these the characters responsible for stealing FlexOnline's Google Analytics code?

[Tu Holmes]

To be fair, Blechman does sponsor the Arnold every year.

Is it a big deal? Maybe not, but he does contribute.

[Musclepapa John]

Being a sponsor of one show would be noteworthy.
They are not listed as a sponsor although Flex & Muscle & Fitness are:
www.arnoldsportsfestival.com

Where other promoters have asked for sponsorship support from them they have claimed (when I was there) that they can't do show coverage and sponsor shows. RxMuscle & Species are regularly seen sponsoring shows and events.
In fact, I provide website domains, web hosting & web maintenance as an in-kind contributing sponsor for about 15 Florida NPC shows. They can spend their money how they like though. I do hope I get my last invoice for service to them paid, but whatever

To be fair, Blechman does sponsor the Arnold every year.

Is it a big deal? Maybe not, but he does contribute.

[Tu Holmes]

I guess he "used" to sponsor it every year. I know he used to sponsor the amateur show or whatever.

[Sandwich]

To be fair, Blechman does sponsor the Arnold every year. Is it a big deal? Maybe not, but he does contribute.

Meh. I think Steve should focus his contributions towards MD's vision and nothing else.

Remember, no one owes anyone anything.

[Musclepapa John]

Meh. I think Steve should focus his contributions towards MD's vision and nothing else.
Remember, no one owes anyone anything.

A benefit of sponsorship should theoretically be a promotional value along with sharing the load so to speak. Whenever he did pay for some sponsorship dollars he got TU Holmes thinking he was still doing it, which has value

[itsallgenetics]

Is that really Steve in that picture with the sun glasses on?

[itsallgenetics]

He looks like Christian bale in the machinist

[Musclepapa John]

Is that really Steve in that picture with the sun glasses on?

It is, but the arm was re-photoshopped. Found google searching on an old RxMuscle thread. His bicep pose has often been touched up when with athletes.

[Octavius]

Peter is one of the best writers out there and someone who doesn't need to kiss anyone's ass. That's why he makes the big bucks and doesn't give a fuck about a 6th rate website

Let's hope you are correct.