Question for the ladies out there: How do you handle the psychological aspects of your transformation?

**Ibarramedia** · 09-02-2015, 10:13 AM

When you first started developing your physique due to weight training did you notice any reaction from people around you? How did you feel and were you getting popular at your gyms? If you have trained a client, say someone who is very shy and introverted and gradually over time, say a year, did you notice a spike in self confidence and popularity? Maybe she was unknown before and then now she is the most popular person in the gym. Soon, a rock star like effect happens and they start thinking like it's all about them.

Maybe some of you who have reached FBB or physique level of development would have less followers. But a client who might be seen as an ugly duckling blossoms onto a swan by her improvements suddenly becomes the most popular and sought out person at the gym. Her level is not competitor level but enough to have classmates, co workers, clients/customers and gym members all constantly asking her out. What does this do to their mindset? How do they or you handle this?

Feel free to share stories of this nature. I'm curious as to how it changes people psychologically and emotionally. Can some handle it or not? It is good to have this training improve their self esteem, but is there such a thing as too fast, too soon that they become so self centered and think they can do anything they want without repercussions?

**sassy69** · 09-02-2015, 01:57 PM

I experience that just about every time I do a competition prep. I go to the same gym for months on end at the same time of day. I'm a quiet person and the one who does the hat down / ipod up approach to training, so I'm sure people are aware of me as part of the general daily background of the gym but that's about it. Then comes within about 4 weeks of show time and suddenly women are saying things like "I want to look like you, but not as big" and guys 10-20 yrs younger than me are suddenly "interested". It's weird. I really appreciate when people tell me they are seeing a difference in my body composition over time - esp this time around because I've been trying to get to this point for 5 years (various injuries, etc.) However it also freaks me out that apparently I had gotten pretty flabby. Jeez.

But to your point - it shouldn't change your mindset. It should give you confidence - but you also shouldn't get full of yourself about it because it is great to see changes, but those changes are only supported by continued support of the lifestyle. There's a bikini girl at my gym who dieted down, looked great on stage, and then blew back up 30 lb. And she still wears the same skimpy shit but it looks a lot worse. You gotta stay committed to the lifestyle.

There are also some girls who were recently pointed out to me who look great - prepping for an upcoming bikini comp - doing selfies in the locker room etc. Well ... all the guys apparently call them "sloots" --- it's like a "slut" but they don't put out. In other words, they think they are all that and act that way ... but no one is impressed.

I will also tell you that the most impressive of the bodybuilding people I know are those who are humble.

So... the change may really need to be the one on the inside -- it's a great accomplishment to change your exterior, but I still believe people judge you on the content of your character, as MLK Jr said. So don't let the outside ruin the inside. Instead draw strength of character from what went into making the exterior accomplishments.

It's weird when you get different responses from people around you when you make the changes. When you finally get to where you want to be, people around you can also suddenly start drawing their own judgments of themselves relative to your changes. So sometimes really odd and unexpected responses to manage. But at the end of the day, it should only be a positive change, if anything, that produces strength of character and greater self-confidence, but not self-cockiness.

**UKdeadliftgirl** · 09-02-2015, 02:22 PM

Great post sassy69

**Puma** · 09-02-2015, 04:00 PM

Great transformation and physique CHILDOFGOD.

Liked your post as well sassy69. Reminds me of my own experiences at the gym whenever I prep. Funnies thing is I would diet slowly for 8 months and still have people ask how I did it so fast.

**Ibarramedia** · 09-02-2015, 07:32 PM

How about Clients if you guys train them? Have you had a nerdy looking girl who happens to play sports suddenly become the hottest ticket in town? Pre transformation, this chick is so quiet that she would never say a word to anyone and then when she is spoken to and has to answer, she almost whispers. No one pays attention to her. She just glides around the gym. Then after the transformation,(Non competitor) she gets all kinds of fans, love to take selfies and all of a sudden is very interested in guys and sometimes plays hard to get. Basically, loving the attention. Disliking the many guys who like her who for various reasons may or may not be decent. And liking random guys and would try to intitiate contact. Talk about a jekyl and hyde personality.

From extreme shyness to narcissism brought about by the transformation. Maybe there are rare cases, maybe it is an individual thing. Who knows? Maybe it is a maturity thing especially if late teen to early 20's. Just wanted to know if this is a normal occurence that happens all the time or an isolated incident.

**Ibarramedia** · 09-02-2015, 07:34 PM

Another thing, After the transformation, starts to walk with a certain swagger. And like Sassy said, other female members start to say I want to look like her.

**Ibarramedia** · 09-02-2015, 07:35 PM

Also goes from not wearing any makeup to full on makeup. Make no mistake, this person is still all about the workout and trains hard.

**Ibarramedia** · 09-02-2015, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by sassy69

I experience that just about every time I do a competition prep. I go to the same gym for months on end at the same time of day. I'm a quiet person and the one who does the hat down / ipod up approach to training, so I'm sure people are aware of me as part of the general daily background of the gym but that's about it. Then comes within about 4 weeks of show time and suddenly women are saying things like "I want to look like you, but not as big" and guys 10-20 yrs younger than me are suddenly "interested". It's weird. I really appreciate when people tell me they are seeing a difference in my body composition over time - esp this time around because I've been trying to get to this point for 5 years (various injuries, etc.) However it also freaks me out that apparently I had gotten pretty flabby. Jeez.

But to your point - it shouldn't change your mindset. It should give you confidence - but you also shouldn't get full of yourself about it because it is great to see changes, but those changes are only supported by continued support of the lifestyle. There's a bikini girl at my gym who dieted down, looked great on stage, and then blew back up 30 lb. And she still wears the same skimpy shit but it looks a lot worse. You gotta stay committed to the lifestyle.

There are also some girls who were recently pointed out to me who look great - prepping for an upcoming bikini comp - doing selfies in the locker room etc. Well ... all the guys apparently call them "sloots" --- it's like a "slut" but they don't put out. In other words, they think they are all that and act that way ... but no one is impressed.

I will also tell you that the most impressive of the bodybuilding people I know are those who are humble.

So... the change may really need to be the one on the inside -- it's a great accomplishment to change your exterior, but I still believe people judge you on the content of your character, as MLK Jr said. So don't let the outside ruin the inside. Instead draw strength of character from what went into making the exterior accomplishments.

It's weird when you get different responses from people around you when you make the changes. When you finally get to where you want to be, people around you can also suddenly start drawing their own judgments of themselves relative to your changes. So sometimes really odd and unexpected responses to manage. But at the end of the day, it should only be a positive change, if anything, that produces strength of character and greater self-confidence, but not self-cockiness.

Well, with you I guess it is seasonal that guys suddenly get interested. And you obviously are not one to "believe in their own hype" and be caught with the rockstar mentality and can't handle the fame so on and so forth.

**sassy69** · 09-03-2015, 12:30 AM

Originally Posted by Ibarramedia

Well, with you I guess it is seasonal that guys suddenly get interested. And you obviously are not one to "believe in their own hype" and be caught with the rockstar mentality and can't handle the fame so on and so forth.

The person you are talking about was somewhat like me when i did my first show. I lifted on my own for 20 years and only got some cursory attention for my 'hardcoreness' in the gym. I was hot shit after my first show. I did love it - but the mental aspects of managing post show rebound blew up in my face and I got fat again.I tried to train into another show 4 months later and happened to hire a guy who over trained me and I got even fatter and experienced metabolic shutdown that took me 3 years to pull out of.

I think it's not unexpected to go thru a dramatic change due to the body transformation - but if you are more than just a shallow person, you will eventually pick up on how people respond to you. If you find people are turned off by how 'full of yourself' you may have become and you are losing people who were your friends before the transformation, it should be a wakeup call to dial it down a bit.

I found the attention I was getting for being in BB shape was actually not the kind I wanted so I dialed it way back over the years. My personal indulgence was wearing clothes to work that made me feel put together, and frankly just that i could wear some of the stuff I wore was enough. Not hoochie stuff but rather really professional stuff that I could wear well. Going out, usually to places where i didn't know anyone, and was usually w/ other gymrat friends, you bet I dressed to the nines and I drew confidence from knowing I looked kick ass. But otherwise, I just kept things low key, which is my nature regardless of the physique.

For someone who is at that age around 20, still getting their bearings in the world, I would hope this person you are talking about finds her confidence, but also soon learns that looks can get you a certain part of the way, but easy confidence w/o the attitude goes a lot further in terms of maturity and drawing in less bullshit into your life.

**Ibarramedia** · 09-03-2015, 12:53 AM

Originally Posted by sassy69

The person you are talking about was somewhat like me when i did my first show. I lifted on my own for 20 years and only got some cursory attention for my 'hardcoreness' in the gym. I was hot shit after my first show. I did love it - but the mental aspects of managing post show rebound blew up in my face and I got fat again.I tried to train into another show 4 months later and happened to hire a guy who over trained me and I got even fatter and experienced metabolic shutdown that took me 3 years to pull out of.

I think it's not unexpected to go thru a dramatic change due to the body transformation - but if you are more than just a shallow person, you will eventually pick up on how people respond to you. If you find people are turned off by how 'full of yourself' you may have become and you are losing people who were your friends before the transformation, it should be a wakeup call to dial it down a bit.

I found the attention I was getting for being in BB shape was actually not the kind I wanted so I dialed it way back over the years. My personal indulgence was wearing clothes to work that made me feel put together, and frankly just that i could wear some of the stuff I wore was enough. Not hoochie stuff but rather really professional stuff that I could wear well. Going out, usually to places where i didn't know anyone, and was usually w/ other gymrat friends, you bet I dressed to the nines and I drew confidence from knowing I looked kick ass. But otherwise, I just kept things low key, which is my nature regardless of the physique.

For someone who is at that age around 20, still getting their bearings in the world, I would hope this person you are talking about finds her confidence, but also soon learns that looks can get you a certain part of the way, but easy confidence w/o the attitude goes a lot further in terms of maturity and drawing in less bullshit into your life.

This, plus the "drawing less bullshit into your life." Very well said.

**Ibarramedia** · 09-03-2015, 12:56 AM

I'd like to hear more anecdotes from others. Maybe you guys have trained some girls that ended up the same way.

**Curt James** · 09-03-2015, 05:09 AM

Originally Posted by sassy69

I will also tell you that the most impressive of the bodybuilding people I know are those who are humble.

This.

Not sure how much a perception of humbleness depends on a person's own self esteem. But, yeah, if everyone says you (not you or anyone specific) act like a [pick your description] then maybe there's something to focus on.

**bigmikecox** · 09-03-2015, 10:08 AM

Muscle chicks rock!!!

**baby muscle** · 09-03-2015, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by bigmikecox

Muscle chicks rock!!!

Muscles look great on everybody!

**Ibarramedia** · 09-03-2015, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by Curt James

This.

Not sure how much a perception of humbleness depends on a person's own self esteem. But, yeah, if everyone says you (not you or anyone specific) act like a [pick your description] then maybe there's something to focus on.

Makes you want to comment sometimes I like so and so before the transformation. A friend said that it is impossible to go out with her because there are so many crazy dynamics involved. Fans at the gym and work and the attention she is getting - Rock star effect whereas before that no one paid attention to her.

Main problem now is everywhere she goes, dudes want to try to hook up with her. Before that she did not exist, under the radar. What guy could put up with all that?