Hello, I am 43 years old and have been BBing for 6 years. I am currently natty and competing in both natural federations and NPC. I have placed top 3 in some class or other in all the competitions I have done, regardless of the federation. The last competition was NPC, I worked my ass off, really really worked hard, and it hit my self esteem to see how much far ahead some of the other girls were compared to me. I am starting to think of enhancements, but I am very conflicted about it. As I said, I work very hard so I am not looking for shortcuts to make up for a bad diet and lazy training. But it's turning out to be a very very hard decision for me to make. I have no close friends in BBing to discuss this, and I really need some help.

I wonder if any of you ladies has felt so emotional about losing nattyness?

Here's the pros and cons I can see

Cons:
- Won't be able to compete in natty federations anymore.
- I know several friends see me as inspirational for competing natty against non natty, and I feel like I betray them.
- If my hubby knew I was taking anything, a nuclear explosion would be nothing compared to his reaction.
- Cost.

*** I am not including health issues because I was planning on sticking with SARMS for the foreseeable future. ***

Pros:
- I love muscle. LOVE IT. I love muscle, definition, vascularity, the works!
- I am in my 40s, I feel I don't have much time left before Father Time starts working against me. It's now or never.

I hope you don't think I am stupid in agonizing so much over this, but feel free to tell me I am