Bionic Pitchers

[hifrommike65]

Pitchers in MLB now look designed. The top ones are so robotic that some baseball broadcasters are calling them "bionic." Corey Kluber is routinely called "Klubot." Jake Arrieta does not look human. I was so relieved when Danny Duffy got arrested for DUI this week in Overland Park (the Kansas side of the KC metro area). I finally got evidence that he's a human being. But I still have my doubts.

Philip K. Dick once said the future will have happened when a robot & a man have a shootout, & the robot bleeds while the man has sprockets fall out of his chest.

[hifrommike65]

The Klubot is programmed to speak. However, its speech is set to the standard statements human pitchers say. & its programmers have deleted "That does not compute" from its memory banks.

[supbro!]

Sounds like the title to a gay porno.

[hifrommike65]

https://tomreeder.wordpress.com/2013...st-bionic-arm/

This article says Tommy John surgery is getting a bionic arm.

[hifrommike65]

The Klubot is dominating the other bionics on the mound.

[hifrommike65]

The Klubot is programmed to speak. Rumors that he is not a replicant are unconfirmed.

[hifrommike65]

The Samardzjiabot is a pitching machine that can kill you if you stand in the wrong place while it's working. It can also power hit (its last one went a projected 446 feet). This android currently operates on the Giants field. It gave fellow teammate Michael Morse a concussion when he got in its way on 29 May 2017, when the bot was trying to tear apart Bryce Harper (who thanked Morse for saving him).

[hifrommike65]

OMG, the Klubot is pitching against the Duffybot in today's game w/ the Royals at Progressive Field. With Flobot overseeing the action, it is a bot fest from which cyber MLB may never recover.