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Thread: GirlyMuscle's Hangout
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12-02-2010, 09:36 AM #2071
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There will be in a couple of weeks when I make my World Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies for Xmas!
Today's goal...no tootsie rolls. LOLYou guys with the huge sponsor ads in your signatures make reading the forums annoying.
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12-02-2010, 03:21 PM #2072
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Meal 1 9am...1 omega egg, 4 whites, 1/2 c oats (230c)
meal 2 12.....6 oz fish, 1/2 c rice, 1/8 slivered almonds (in the rice), 1 c peppers/onions (330)
meal 3 3pm...20 oz cappaccino, 1 glazed doughtnut (270)
About that last meal...I looked up my beloved cappaccino and it's 70 calories. I've really missed them. So I thought I can have a protein bar with it. I love having a sweet with coffee. Anyway, I don't have any with me and the only ones the mini market had were super sized. If I open up a 400 calories protein bar, I'm eating a 400 calorie protein bar. I don't have the willpower to eat half and save the rest. So I opted for a 200 calorie doughtnut.
And so far no tootsie rolls.You guys with the huge sponsor ads in your signatures make reading the forums annoying.
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12-02-2010, 03:23 PM #2073
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12-02-2010, 03:25 PM #2074
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Hi Sweetie!
errr...I mean Fucker. Hey, do you have your schedule for the next month or so? When will you be in Richmond?You guys with the huge sponsor ads in your signatures make reading the forums annoying.
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12-04-2010, 11:46 AM #2075
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156.2 today. My off season goal is to not go over 160. So far so good. I've been allowing myself to have treats and I do so almost every day. Funny thing is what we consider cheats really isn't. I had one slice of TOAST with breakfast today. I might use a little honey mustard (mustard with honey...not dipping sauce) on my cold chicken breast. 6 whopping ounces of steak instead of the usual 3-4. I had a doughnut the other day with my skim milk cappuccino but my calories for the day remained under 2000. I'm not going to turn down chocolate chip Xmas cookies when I make them. I just won't eat 2 dozen in one sitting. I guess this is a plan of sorts, basic good nutrition most of the time with some cheats, watch the weight and enjoy life.
I just feel like I need a little more structure. I'm almost afraid of food because once I start it becomes very hard to stop. I've been doing it but it's freakin' hard! I don't talk much about my food issues because it's embarrassing to me. people who don't have them think the answer is "just don't eat"..."have some willpower." It's not that easy. If it was food would not be the problem it is, now would it? You don't tell an alcoholic to just get over it.
So what are my food issues? I've always been an emotional eater. I get upset and the craving for food to soothe the soul becomes more than I can resist. For those who don't understand it's like this...when I'm eating I'm focusing on the food. My mind does not go to the problem. I go into kind of a trance. A food trance. I won't snap out of it until I'm out of food or I go to bed. Just typing that makes me feel so weak and pathetic. I should have more control that that. I know better.
Now add to that two 6 month contest preps. (because I gain too much back) Being so restricted for half the year, once I'm allowed to eat again it's like opening the flood gates. One cookie will lead to an onslaught of calories from anywhere I can get them. It's not pretty so I never do it in front of anyone. I'll eat after everyone goes to bed or I'll go out alone or eat in my car. When I was in Australia last year I was ok when Sledge was home but when he was away at work for 8 days all I did was pace the house trying not to binge and most days I did anyway. (Don't ask me what I binged on since he doesn't buy crap food but I'm sure he noticed the 2 jars of natty peanut butter went missing ;-)
Why am I laying this all out there for everyone to see? Because I know I'm not the only one who goes through this. Lots of people, especially women, do the same things and are too embarrassed to talk about it. We feel weak about our EDs. I know I feel like I should just buck up and knock off this nonsense and I want to but I don't know how.
So here's a little success story so this post has a happy ending.
I have some intense emotional stuff in my life right now. When I got home the other night I was in prime emotional binge mode. I walked in the door, booted up the downstairs desktop, took off my coat and headed for the fridge. No leftovers. Figures. No cookies. Again, figures. So I pour a huge bowl of Lucky Charms. I think to myself, don't poor on too much milk. You want to keep the second bowl smaller. Something inside me said, "That's fucking lame. Thinking about the next bowl before you have the first. Pour it back." I thought to myself what would it feel like to actually go through with stopping a binge? I poured the cereal back in the box and put the milk away. Instead, I measured out 1/2 c rice, 4 oz chicken breast and 1 c of onions/peppers. Heated it up and ate that. Granted, I could have done without the carb at 10pm but oh well. *shrug* At least it wasn't a box of sugary cereal.You guys with the huge sponsor ads in your signatures make reading the forums annoying.
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12-04-2010, 12:04 PM #2076
Good job! I bet if you keep self-checking yourself like that you can break the emotional eating habit. Time and practice! Of course I'm speaking out of my ass as I am the exact opposite. If I have negative emotions or stress I completely lose my appetite. I have to force myself to eat and choke something down. Except chocolate. I can eat that under any circumstances.
I do think restrictive diets lead to eating problems so you're right about the "cheats". Piece of toast, lol!
Back when I could eat anything I maintained my weight by balancing my splurges with good eating and breaking my bad eating habits. Like always having to clean my plate and no dessert if I hadn't eaten a meal first. I learned to leave food on the plate and if I was really craving that chocolate sundae, I ate it first. Rather than eat it when I was full from a meal.
You know your weak spots/bad habits. That's a big part of the solution.
If I could have your muscle mass I'd happily gain 50 pounds
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12-04-2010, 12:57 PM #2077
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Oh I can happily gain it. I don't happily lose it! Ask Sledge, Steveg or any of my friends and family. LOL
You guys with the huge sponsor ads in your signatures make reading the forums annoying.
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12-04-2010, 04:48 PM #2078
I am an emotional eater too. People like us can't get and stay lean till we dig deep and battle the dragons.
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12-04-2010, 09:10 PM #2079
I have never understood what an emotional eater is. I'm not discrediting that some people do it..... I accept it. I just have a hard time understanding it. I eat to satisfy my hunger, not because I was happy, sad or angry.
"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" -Dr. David Banner
Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart - Anne Frank
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12-04-2010, 09:52 PM #2080
I never try and explain it to people that don't have the problem. I mean how can you understand something if it has no bearing on you or your life?
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12-05-2010, 02:30 AM #2081
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This is exactly why we hide it. People do not understand. Therefore we hide it and pretend it does not exist. We go about our daily lives as if the issue does not exists when in reality it its all we think of. Therefore binging is in private.
Seriously...Ibarra...you are the the king schmoe of FBBers. You have every picture ever taken. Look at those pics...I'll bet you half of the fbbers have some sort of eating disorder. Go ahead...ask them. Not what they post on the web....REAL life. Not just pictures you find. Find out what really make them click and I'd be willing to bet 50% (or more) have eating disorder. Kristy Hawkins is one who admitted to it.You guys with the huge sponsor ads in your signatures make reading the forums annoying.
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12-05-2010, 03:26 AM #2082"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" -Dr. David Banner
Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart - Anne Frank
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12-05-2010, 03:50 AM #2083
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12-05-2010, 05:42 AM #2084
I think for some of us food was a reward for us when we were kids. Candy, cookies, cake, etc., when we were good for a reward for doing something good and for something to make you feel better when you got your ass chewed or beat. People eat when they are happy, but I think even more so when they are sad, you eat something bad then you feel guilty so then you eat more, it's a vicious cycle that i myself have fought since I was 12 years old and figured out I was a tad bit OVERWEIGHT at 200lbs, LOL.
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12-05-2010, 08:39 AM #2085
Erin I applaud you for your honesty - AND for pouring that cereal back... fuck I've had the same conversation in my head... thinking about the next bowl and I haven't even began the first.
I know if I call or text you and say "I'm in Walgreens", you know EXACTLY what that means and where and what aisle I'm in. And just knowing I've been able to be completely honest with someone that understands, can sometimes be enough to allow me to walk away from my next binge. Some can open a bag of Hershey Kisses and eat a couple... EYE open the bag and I am not joking, gone, all of it, in less than an hour.
People understand and can empathize with drug addicts, alcoholics, gamblers, etc. but when you tell someone you have an eating disorder, they almost cock there head sideways with that HUH look? And for those of us that binge, its not always cookies, cakes, candy - I've binged on grapes, raisins, bread, all normal eating things to a person w/o food issues. Oh we can reel it in, at times, I have, you have.... but Lord when its unleashed... and when others say "oh come on just one won't hurt" they have no idea how ONE leads to tons later, in secret, when no one else is around.
Stuffing fast food bags under your car seat so no one sees them, hitting a different drive thru because you certainly don't want the same staff to see you again, finding an outdoor garbage can so you can get rid of the evidence, eating the entire carton of ice cream before you realize it and then having an oh shit moment and running out to replace it before anyone else gets home and notices.
I wish it was as easy as just someone saying "well don't do it"....
Kudo's to you again on a more wise decision and realizing what the other decision would have lead to... I think that is a huge step in possibly breaking the cycle....Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.
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