IronMagLabs "January" Contest

[The Neck]

Man walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads, "cheese sandwich $4.50. Handjob $5.00." He checks his wallet and calls over the waitress. He asks, "Are you the one who does the handjob?" She smiles at him seductively and says, "I am." He says, "Well wash your friggin' hands cause I want a cheese sandwich."

[FitnBuf]

348

[shorty9]

Man walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads, "cheese sandwich $4.50. Handjob $5.00." He checks his wallet and calls over the waitress. He asks, "Are you the one who does the handjob?" She smiles at him seductively and says, "I am." He says, "Well wash your friggin' hands cause I want a cheese sandwich."

lmao!! that was great. Give me a little bit, I gotta come up with a joke before I commit to a number. And can you post multiple numbers if post multiple jokes as well as?


cheers, shorty

[The Neck]

lol

[nitrous]

50

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz_PJqCCd2E"]YouTube - Quentin Tarantino telling the best joke ever[/nomedia]

[The Neck]

50

youtube - quentin tarantino telling the best joke ever

lmfao!!

[jim]

322

A philosopher once had the following dream.

First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher's surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn't answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.

Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers' objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn't answer it and disappeared.

Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.

After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I'm asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I've found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will probably have forgotten it, and the world will really miss something!" With an iron effort, the philosopher forced himself to wake up, rush over to his desk, and write down his universal refutation. Then he jumped back into bed with a sigh of relief.

The next morning when he awoke, he went over to the desk to see what he had written. It was, "That's what you say."

[From Raymond Smullyan, 5000 B.C. and Other Philosophical Fantasies. St. Martin's Press, 1983]

[The Neck]

That was good!!^^^^

[The Neck]

-What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
A: Curls...

-How many bodybuilders does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six.
One to change it and the other 5 to yell out ?you look fucking huge dude!?

-How do Columbians develop muscle? By pushing drugs

-I almost got kicked out of school today
why?
carrying around a six pack and 2 guns!

[OverHouse]

402

[The Neck]

Free shit, keep em coming!!

[Gerb]

500

A friend comes over to visit his buddy who is recovering from foot surgery. The man asks his buddy if he can run up stairs and grab his flipflops from his bedroom.

The friend goes up stairs and walks into the bedroom of is beautiful twin 18yr old daughters and says to them, "Your Dad asked me to come up here and have sex with both of you".

The daughters looked at him and said "No way, get out of here, what proof do you have he said this?"

The friend yells down to his buddy, "Just one of them?"

The father yells back up stairs "What is the point of just fucking one of them?"

[Gerb]

I won the Decemeber contest, got in a Nitro4 and CEE, started both yesterday, they sent me a month supply so I will got a solid run out of them! Thanks again!

[The Neck]

I won the Decemeber contest, got in a Nitro4 and CEE, started both yesterday, they sent me a month supply so I will got a solid run out of them! Thanks again!

Thanks for the feedback!

[CUNTAMINATED]

330...can't think of a joke either